Life dripping another way

in thoughts •  10 days ago 

I am at the hospital now getting my treatment and by the evening I will have a migraine-esque headache that'll last about the next week and my mood is likely going to degrade. I try not to be affected too much emotionally by it, but we all tend to react to discomfort and pain of various levels and a worn out body becomes a worn out mind, and a worn out mind doesn't have the same control it would in optimal condition.

In a world of counter-factuals, I have sometimes wondered what might have been different if back in 1996, instead of being misdiagnosed for 10 months, I had an early and correct diagnosis which would have been able to treat my illness before becoming chronic. Would I be better off today, or has the experience of illness given me perspective and skills I wouldn't have picked up otherwise.

It is of course impossible to say, but it is very easy to blame poor life outcomes on past circumstances without recognizing those same conditions brought other value points. While I wouldn't wish anyone ill in this life, I do think that illness, pain, suffering and all kinds of hardship are the places where we learn and grow from the most. Those who truly hit rock-bottom are made or broken from the experience and while most avoid breakage, sometimes it is a necessary component to produce the antifragile response to pressure, one where gains can be made even whilst suffering.

I entered onto Steem in financial hardship due to the conditions of my daughter's health and while far from ideal and not wanting to go back there, I feel that if I had been in other circumstances my journey through the Steem blockchain would have been quite different. I work my best under pressures of various kinds and I think that the weight on my shoulders from family circumstance and the responsibility to care for it improved what I had to offer and, gave a sense of urgency and importance to what I was doing. Purpose.

It didn't matter that I wasn't getting anywhere near enough to do much of anything of significance (and therefore never used any crypto), it was the feeling that given my available resources, I was doing something that mattered, something that had a chance to perhaps ease the burdens, even if it wasn't going to provide an immediate result. Having something to look forward to in life is also a motivating factor, especially in times of hardship, and it has probably saved many lives by giving the hope needed to do what is necessary in the moment.

I am pretty sure that while being ill has taught me a lot, it has also cost me a great deal of opportunity that I would have been able to capitalize on as my illness has effects on many components of my body, including how effectively I think and of course, moods. There are many aspects of life that we take for granted until we notice they are gone, and our ability to think is one that we may not even notice fade as we get older. It was restricted so quickly in me it was more than obvious to me, as was the first effects of physical loss as I went from highly athletic to bedridden in the space of about 3 months.

But, we all do the best we can with the resources we have available to us but this brings in another counterfactual that we might not truly consider well due to the power of our egos.

Given the resources we have held, would someone else have used them better?

It is easy to look at someone else's life and say "if it were me" but, it is not. I am pretty sure that someone else with my resources would have made significantly different choices than I have, but if it would have led to a better or a worse outcome is unknowable. People always like to think that they could do better, but they have no way of knowing if that is actually true when it comes to the things that matter in life as with so many variables in play, outcomes are unpredictable and when we try to forward think, we can't factor in what we do not know and that includes all of the open possibility for chance and luck, good and bad to have an effect.

Perhaps you are luckier than I, perhaps I am luckier than you - regardless, you can't live my life and I would predict, you likely wouldn't want to if it was possible anyway. Thankfully though, this is the life I have and I am pretty happy with it - pain and all.

Now it is off to a Father's Day coffee at my daughter's daycare.

Even if pain is present, it doesn't mean life is bad.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]

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Looking at your post here I can't help but reminisce how being sick constantly has deprived me of capitalising on a lot of opportunities in life in other to make my life better. I think it's your period of reflection since you're away from the hustles and bustles of life. But if you ask me I think 1996 happened and because of that it might have made you led a different life despite the health complications

I think counterfactuals are good for analysis of action, but not useful if used to feed regret.

The past is what it was, the future will be what it is yet to become.

Exactly how favourable the future might turn out Irrespective of how the present seems is yet to be known I think I thrive on that uncertainty personally

It is all certainly uncertain, best to embrace it.

OMG. So sorry about this. I will always remember you in my prayers for good health and quick recovery. Amen. Get well soon brother. The Lord is your strength. Greetings from Kwara State. Nigeria.

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It is nice that you will pray for me, but personally I don't believe in any one of the gods.

Wow, I need to ask. What do you have m8? If it's not indiscreet

Chronic ulcerative colitis. It is under control now but the medication they put me on as a kud did irreversible damage to other parts of my system. Life goes on :)

dam bro, what about alternatives?

i'm not a doctor or some fanatic guy trying to shape your lifestyle but plant-based eating has a lot of scientific literature behind it.

If you're okay with an open and skeptic mind I could share some sources of information about it.

p.s inflammation sucks, i know.

I controlled it for almost 20 years through diet, but the damage done to other things through the meds when young makes it only partially effective.

Hi @tarazkp
I am sorry I missed this post. By now your infusion must be completed and your migraine may be beginning. I wonder if your headache could be treated by migraine medication at the infusion center? I can only guess you may have already tried this? I have experience with migraines and the various medicines. It can be a struggle to seek and find effective therapy, which leaves you functional. I hope you achieve that goal of control over these headaches and your other illness.

In keeping with one of your themes, which has really made me contemplative and on the oddly bright side I wonder if your illness and your daughters, plus your mutual awareness of each other’s illnesses has created a special bond between you from your shared experiences with the healthcare system. I hope from these two negatives, a positive has developed.
✍️

I wonder if your headache could be treated by migraine medication at the infusion center?

It can, but it isn't dangerous (as far as I know) and that means it is only discomfort for the most part. I can live with that as I have enough chemicals in my body, none of them the fun ones :)

My daughter has been amazing in coping with various ailments and hospital visits and she is a trooper under tests. She of course has never liked it, but she is able to understand it is necessary and she recovers very fast from the memory of the pain. She has had many, many visits in her 3 short years.

I tell her about my trips to te doctor and let her take the tape and cottonwool off the puncture points as it helps her when I have to do the same later. She peels it off very slowly though :D