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RE: If You Spill The Coffee - Say I Am Sorry!
This is well said, and I think lies at the heart of many disagreements, especially where political correctness comes in. Because I'm quite sensitive to not wanting to hurt others, I error on your side of the discussion:
It is perfectly normal to be upset when you are upset.
This sounds like a dumb non-statement, but what I mean by this is that you are going to be upset anyway. Both sides should step back and start the dialog so that a mutual understanding takes place. Then future interactions can only improve from there.
And now I'm realizing I strayed from the original question.
Yes, words matter.
But I lost my train of thought...
I can perfectly follow your train of thought... you didn't lose it :) And that statement makes perfect sense "It is perfectly normal to b upset with you are upset" - not dumb at all...actually, that the core message in this post: When you're upset, you don't think about intentions or excuses, you are just hurt, and the person who hurt you need to take a step back, admit they've done something wrong to you, apologize and then you can forgive them out of the kindness of your heart... When you're hurt, you are wounded and you only need those wounds to be healed.