The Immortal Two... An Old Man's Tale
Ya e'er heard of the Immortal Two?
That famous tale, of love and voodoo?
Well sit ya ass down, and let me tell it to ya,
In the true way, that only an eye witness can...
I met this pretty lass, and she was pretty like so.
'Cause I was young and stupid, I made her a pass,
Buh little did I know, fer this was no ordinary lass...
That pretty lass, she sure as hell took out me wits.
Laugh at an old man, buh me story is true,
Only yer couldn't know it, it didn't happen to you...
And I was love struck, a real life zombie.
At that moment, I could have killed fer her,
Ya, she could have asked, and I would have taken the bar...
And at first I thought, that it was only in me head.
Buh no no no, I saw it with me eyes,
Believe me son, this old man ain't telling yer lies...
It shot out the floor, T'was blindingly bright.
And out came this fellow, a staff in his hand,
It was pure voodoo son, not any fantasy wand...
Every fellow in that bar, we were impossibly still.
Then with his other hand, he beckons that young lass,
And off she goes, to be caught in his grasp...
So I followed 'em two, pure voodoo or not.
And as that strange light, whisked us all away,
I saw many a thing, me still cannot say...
'Em two and meself, way way down below.
Till we emerged, o'er on the other side,
Then me eyes was open, to the reality behind...
Than I could say, maybe a bit more 'n nineteen.
Buh then she transformed, and that fellow too,
They were each at least, say fourscore and two...
And in fear, I remembered those aged words of the wise.
That not all which glittereth, be same as gold,
For a pretty young lass, in me very eyes just became old...
I knew it then, that we could do all we can,
But there are forces, livin' down in the ground,
Forces that could make sh.t, of any a master plan...
I only remember waking up, the left side of me bed.
And when I tried to tell, of 'em Immortal Two,
They called me crazy, I know they still do...
And everyday since, I only get to see yer face...
Buh today son, ya got to hear the truth of me tale,
Of 'em Immortal Two, that which ne'er will be stale...
If yer need more of a tale, this old man here ain't telling none...
Written for @calluna's Tell Me a Story Contest
I've always wanted to enter with poetry rather than prose... So I tried working on something different this time. It took me quite sometime, and given that I'm still somewhat unsure about the end product, I think I might have taken on more than I should. Buh then again, if this 'ere Ol'boy don't, who will?
P. S. I hope you did notice our old fellow is in a mental institution...
Big news! I'm in love with the @bananafish family. They simply blew my mind in more ways than one today. I love love love love love love love love love love love love you guys. And this ain't no voodoo love!
I LOVE @theironfelix @calluna @f3nix @cyemela @randomwanderings @misterakpan @marcoricardi @cyrusemerson @dirge @... Okay okay, you get the picture. I love all of you terribly. And I can't shout enough about it.
If you ain't a @bananafish, you don't know what you're missing out on...
But really, I was blown away today. The love was amazing. I feel like a child again, a spoilt child. Y'all have spoilt me, and I'm forever indebted. ❤❤❤❤😘😘😘😘
This was such a sincere joy to read! The sing-song rhythm, the sense of story, the pace, it felt straight out of a beloved childhood book! The sense of humour, the sense of humour carries so well. The rhymes you have chosen are perfectly suited to this style of poem, I don't want to say they are obvious ones, but they aren't obscure, and one of the most important things with these kind of sing-song spokenstyle story poems is the reader getting caught up in the flow of it, and having a feel for the next line. It creates a sense of space you are sucked into with each verse!
You do an impeccable job of maintaining story momentum and plot progression in the poem format. The story itself is so well suited, anecdotal, a believable sense of magic. My notes for your entry mainly consist of hearts lol, I just really loved it so much <3
❤️❤️
I'm lov'd! Insta resteem'd for that mere mention. Anyways, good story in yer extended and free-form poem, you artist of a lad/lass. Love it when oure grandpappies goes on tangents on galaxy hop... I mean "time travelers" and what not - irresistible hearing it from them.
This post has been voted on from MSP3K courtesy of @isaria from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ).
Bots Information:
Join the P.A.L. Discord | Check out MSPSteem | Listen to MSP-Waves
wow, this... was so nice. well worth the read over twice!.
Thanks... Happy you loved it
i really enjoyed it, i am honored to have read it. sincerely.
I really enjoyed
It, i am honored to have
Read it. sincerely.
- franciferrer
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.