RE: The Immortal Two... An Old Man's Tale
This was such a sincere joy to read! The sing-song rhythm, the sense of story, the pace, it felt straight out of a beloved childhood book! The sense of humour, the sense of humour carries so well. The rhymes you have chosen are perfectly suited to this style of poem, I don't want to say they are obvious ones, but they aren't obscure, and one of the most important things with these kind of sing-song spokenstyle story poems is the reader getting caught up in the flow of it, and having a feel for the next line. It creates a sense of space you are sucked into with each verse!
You do an impeccable job of maintaining story momentum and plot progression in the poem format. The story itself is so well suited, anecdotal, a believable sense of magic. My notes for your entry mainly consist of hearts lol, I just really loved it so much <3
❤️❤️