My Teardrops of Being Perfectonist that leads to Disappointment

in teardrops •  last year

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I grow up with people who have many expectations from me! And they usually compare me with the others. At first, I accepted that challenge so I always try and give my best to the full every chances or opportunity given to me to make it perfect even sometimes I almost and wanted to give up. But my family, teachers, classmates and friends expect too much from me. I can’t blame them because it is still me who will decide in the end if I’ll do this and that.! Besides, it makes me feel happy too whenever I make it to meet their expectations from me.
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But as time passed by, the joy that I felt in meeting those expectations from me was replaced by loneliness, fear of disappointing others and especially most disappointing myself. I didn’t notice that of all the achievements I got in giving my best just to pleased others affected my inside person! I become perfectionist, independent and there are times that I feel I don’t need anyone. Because I developed a negative orientation of myself that I shouldn't fail. I expected too much from myself that I always said to myself, “I need to reach this.. I need to get this.. I have to have this.. I need to finish this.. I have to do this..and many more!” And I even expect others to do the same to make it perfect. I get easily disappointed to someone who didn’t meet my expectation because I want them to make it perfect as well. But that leads me to loneliness and unhappiness. Because People think of me as a strong person I hide myself in the real world of my room crying, tears soaked on my pillow and blanket and scolding myself not to show my weakness moment. Actually, I feel like tiring out because of those high expectations from myself. There are times that I’m looking at something but I don’t know what I am thinking and what I am doing! That makes me realize that I needed help.
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I prayed to God Jehovah and asked Him how to cope with this feelings of mine. There Jehovah God leads me in reading this bible verse:

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Proverbs 13:12
“ Expectation postponed makes the heart sick,
But a desire realized is a tree of life.”

Yes, it touches my heart as it is like a sword pierced to discern my thoughts and intentions of my heart. I came to understand that my problem is I get used to expecting much from myself because I want everything perfect and I forgot that nobody is perfect except God. And I realized too that I make other people uncomfortable because they’re worried that I might judge them, make them feel, ‘they’re not good enough’ which makes me feel regret to these feelings I gave to them. Now, this leads me to a conclusion: “ I should do the better way of myself! " And this verse help me :

Philippians 4:5
“Let your reasonableness become known.”
Reasonable people are balanced in what they expect of themselves and in what they expect of others.

For me to do that I should always remember these things:

1. How you view yourself.

I should know my limitations, set a reasonable standard for myself so that I won’t feel disappointed. I‘ll try my best but if it reaches my limit, I should be happy with that!

2. How you view helpful advice

Acknowledging your limitations means accepting others help. So whenever I get stressed with something I should approach and accept their help and advice willingly.

3. How you view others.

I should set a reasonable standard for what I expect from others. Understand that each person has different capabilities and limitations too.

4. How others view you.

I can’t please anyone. So I shouldn't be scared to show my weaknesses. I’ll show the real me not for worst but to become a better person that can be easy to be with!

Now, I am happy that God helped me to realize these things about myself. Also, I am not afraid anymore to show the real me. I just laugh at my weaknesses and now I am enjoying a wonderful friendship with my family and friends!

I’m glad I meet @surpassinggoogle, even just here because he’s always been good to anyone! And for that, I support him as a witness by voting him at https://steemit.com/~witnesses. I’ ll be glad if you vote him as well as your witness at https://steemit.com/~witnesses by typing "steemgigs" at the first search box. If you want to give him witness voting decisions on your behalf, visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses again and type "surpassinggoogle" in the second box as a proxy.

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Nakakaiyak naman po tong article nyo ate.

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Madrama awa he he he! Pero now na nagmessage kana napangiti na ako ha ha ha

Wow, ang galing naman nyan, gustong guto yung 1-4. 😊👌

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Do your story too ate! I know you can do better than this he he

tama ka sis, ang ganda ng article mo. relate ako hehe

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Good to hear you can relate with my article! Thanks!

That's nice te :) you will feel better this time. And you are not alone, Jehovah, your family and us are always here for you :)

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Thanks Dette! I know you're all there for me same with me to all of you. It's my first time to write an article for teardrop story he he he!

People call me perfectionist, too!

Hindi ka nag-iisa, pero malalampasan mo rin yan. Kasi nagawa ko. Pero, may times parin na nadidisappoint ako sa sarili ko.

Cguro, kung teacher ka, mas mapapadali ang pagbabago mo. Kasi, mas malakas ang pag-iintindi mo sa mga bata, kaysa sa gusto mong magawa nila.

Mas mangingibabaw ang iyong pagmamahal. Minsal nga, kaya mo nang tiisin sila kasi mas importante sila kaysa sa pinagagawa mo sa kanila.

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Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone in this kind of feelings! I do agree with your advice that if I become a teacher I can easily overcome this feelings. I'm a bible teacher of all ages. A volunteer sign language teacher as well and online tutor so this help me alot to be patient and consider my students capability! Thanks for reading my post @christianyocte

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The pleasure is mine. I have shed many @teardrops already.

Trying to always do the best possible is a good thing, perfection does not exist.
and sometimes we give too much importance to what others think of us.
It is good to listen to our inner voice and act in accordance.

@teardrops mention you here:

A Tear Now Has Value #12

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Thank you so much for featuring my post! I definitely agree with what you said that sometimes we give too much importance to what others think of us. That was me before although I still need to consider what would others will say but if it reaches to the point that it let's me fell down completely I'll better choose to be deaf and just do what I think the best! Again thank you @teardrops! 😊😊