The News About @LauraLemons: My Reaction and My Experience With Death and Suicide
THIS IS A TRUE STORY...
I was reading my Feed on Steemit, not too long ago, when I opened a post from @cathi-xx about a Walking Dead Haiku Contest, since I like that show checked it out, at the end of her post I noticed a link and it just said Laura Lemons, I recognized the name because she is a Steemian I follow, I clicked on the link and it took me to a post from @alexbeyman, titled "Rest In Peace, @lauralemons. You Were Dear to Me, and Everyone Who Knew You" https://steemit.com/suicide/@alexbeyman/rest-in-peace-lauralemons-you-were-dear-to-me-and-everyone-who-knew-you.
My first thought was: "What?! did I just read that @LauraLemons died?", to be honest, I was not close to her, I just was one of her followers and the reason I followed her was because I thought she was interesting and I liked her catchy name, nevertheless the news was shocking for me.
Of course, I wanted to know what happened to her, so I read the post from @alexbeyman, there he explained that @LauraLemons had been dealing with depression for years and what finally pushed her over the edge was the suicide of one of her closest friends, it's so tragic that it makes me sad just thinking about it 😢.
I went to check her Steemit profile @LauraLemons because I to see if she left a suicide note or if she gave any indicators about what she was going to do, I only found out she posted 23 days ago and that she resteemed a post 20 days ago and after that, nothing...
Two days after she resteemed her very last post, her friend @alexbeyman made his post about what happened...
Since I never had somebody close to me commit suicide, I cannot imagine how anybody close to @LauraLemons feels right now, however I can relate to the grief and the longing of loosing someone, because I have lost people dear to me, like my grandmother Teresa and my little dog Morris, both of them died of illness.
Now my grandma died about 20 years ago, she had been battling cancer and diabetes, but she did not tell anybody about it, she did not even get treatment, she was a tough single mom and she was used to dealing with everything on her own, maybe we could have saved her, if we would have known.
The last time I saw her alive and well, was in my Quinceañera, which is the mexican version of Sweet 16, she really wanted to be there for me, then a short time after that event, she ended up in the Hospital of Guaymas, Sonora, Mexico, in a diabetic coma, that's when we learned she also had cancer, it was terrible seeing her on that hospital bed, looking much thinner and with yellow skin, she died a few days after. My big sister was the one most attached to Grandma and she was the one that took it the hardest, actually she never when back to the city of Empalme, because she wanted to remember Grandma happy in her house, she did not want to see an empty house.
It's been 3 years since my puppie dog Morris died of Parvovirus, this is a bit of a weird thing for me because I never thought I would care so much for a dog, I really did consider him a member of my family and eventhough it's been sometime since he died, I have a feeling or thought that attacks me every time I remember him, I feel guilt because I think that I could have saved him or prevented his death, also in my head I can hear myself shouting his name very loud, I'm calling him but he does not come and my voice just fades away...
My husband, my kids and me we all got very sad, but my oldest son Alejandro, he really got shocked, he saw the dog getting sicker and we had to tell him Morris would not come back, since my son has Autism he just started repeating over and over the dogs name, calling him he did not believe the puppie was gone, to be honest I got scared, then I thought it would be easier for my son to tell him that Morris is in heaven, I sat down with him and I told him that Morris hopped on a cloud to reunite with his mom and dad in heaven, since there where clouds outside that day, I took him outside to see the sky, I told him that Morris was up there happy with his family, inmmediatly, my son smiled and accepted that our puppie was now in a better place.
I tell you thank God for Heaven...
Here is a picture I took of our dog, I edited the picture to conmemorate his death and I shared it on my Facebook.
I also dealt with suicidal tendencies when I was a teen, the last time I tried to kill myself I was 18 years old, I remember I was so desperate to runaway from the pain I felt, so much that nothing else mattered, not even my family....I know it sounds very selfish.
I had tried to commit suicide before, but I was too much of a chicken to do it, but one morning I was ready to go through with it, I tried to slice my wrist with a kitchen knive, I didn't even know the proper technique, I just thought it would be an easy way to die, but I could not do it, because I had an epiphany, I had a strong feeling inside me, that I never had before, I knew that if commited suicide, the pain would not end and it would be worse because there would be no escape, like being trapped in a purgatory.
Maybe this makes no sense to anybody else, but that feeling made me promise that I would never try to commit suicide again and I have kept that promise ever since.
It makes me sad to know that for @LauraLemons there was no such epiphany, her pain must have been overwhelming and even though I didn't really know her, I wish I could have done something to help her.
I know that there are Steemians writing post inspired by her, if you want to do a tribute for her, there is an art contest by @holoz0r that you can check out here ---> https://steemit.com/art/@holoz0r/reminder-holoz0r-s-lauralemons-tribute-art-award-nine-days-to-enter the deadline is September 30 2017 and you can find others that are participating by looking up this tag holoz0rlltaa1.
The only thing else that I can say right know is my deepest condolences to all the people that where close to her, she will be missed, and I do hope that @LauraLemons soul finds peace on the other side...
Photo 3 taken and edited by me
Photos 1, 2 and 4 via Pixabay.com
https://steemit.com/suicide/@mariacherries/la-noticias-sobre-lauralemons-mi-reaccion-y-mi-experiencia-con-la-muerte-y-el-suicidio
The more I learn about you the more I respect you for enduring such hardships and surviving.
How is your son with autism doing? From what I have seen, some of these children have very special talents that need to be discovered and focused on.
Hello happyme :D, thank you for leaving a comment and to answer your question, my boy is doing well, he didn't talk mucho for years, then after he turned 6 years old he started communicating more and that made me very happy :D, he is 10 years old now but we haven't found out his talent yet, but we do know he likes taking care of plants, playing videogames, cooking and listening to music, so we try to nourish that :)
Wonderful! Perhaps he will one day open a restaurant with home-grown food, playing great music that makes the customers happy and enjoy the food even more! Success can come from places you least expect it.
Hahahah I love your positive attitude and the picture you painted actually does not sound bad at all :D
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Sure, lol, that gif is epic :)))
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Wow interesting reading @mariacherries we all have moments that mark our life and without doubt death will not be the exception, esparte a great way of learning to reach full maturity the meaning of life and how important we give and appreciate things that our loved ones always go to a place of rest where everyone will finally go someday, life does not end here, only the path of eternity begins, we are eternal beings :) greetings and thanks for sharing so deep experience, I would appreciate if you giving her a look at my last post and leave me your comment, greetings and success in everything!
Thank you hectorjoachim I will :)
You're welcome :)