Stress Starving

"I eat when I'm stress"
"I'm a stress eater"
"It's the hormones that are making me eat more"

Stress eating is something a lot of people do to deal with their stress. Scientist have linked weight gain to the hormonal imbalance most experience when their body is put under stress. However, there are a rare few who starve when they are stressed whether conscious on unconsciously. I am one of those few. Basically, stress starving is the complete opposite of stress eating. Where you starve when the body undercomes stress. Unlike stress eating, where the worst consequence is weight gain short and long term; stress starving leads to dizziness and will cause one the faint easily. So....Why do it? How does it happen?

The moment I realised I was stress starving was when I noticed the pattern that I would lose a lot of weight during exams. My first experience was during Form 3 (3rd year of secondary) where we had an important test to categories Science and Art students. Everyone pressurized me to get into the Science stream which requires higher qualifying results compared to
Art stream. I studied very hard which lead to my academic goals but that was when my weight dropped from 55kgs to 51kgs(120lbs to 112 lbs). BTW I am 160cm (5'3). Here are some pictures of me to show you what I mean.

This is me, when I was 16.

This is me, right after SPM. A fresh graduate just recovering from months of unconscious starvation.

This is me now. P.S I'm happy with my weight now. It still does fluctuate. It ranges between 50 to 53 kgs.

It got worse as academic obstacles got harder. My lowest weight was 48kgs when it was nearing SPM (secondary graduating test).
Now in university, my weight would fluctuate when I'm sad or stressed.

Why? What is the feeling of stress starving? I do not stress starve on purpose.I think... At first, I did not do it intentionally. It started with me feeling like vomiting whenever I ate. This is because I feel like something is weighing down my chest. Whenever I swallowed, I would feel like all the food is stuck in my chest. And I would lose focus due to the pain. Sooner or later, I would just lose the desire to eat.

Guilty pleasure? A lot or people associate food with the guilty pleasures of life.Every stress starver is different. Some like tea, some like fizzy drinks, I like black coffee. As a stress starver, the top guilty pleasure for me is COFFEE!!!!!!! I cannot stress enough how much coffee has gave me strength through all the hard times. It gives me energy to focus without eating.

Is it healthy? Which is better? Stress starving or stress eating? To be honest...Neither. As much as a lot of us desire to lose weight, stress starving is not the way. It puts your body under immense stress. From first hand experience, short term negative effects are fainting and tiredness. In the long run, it will lead to damaged metabolism which will lead to easier weight gain. Furthermore, it will be even harder to lose the weight gained.

Stress is something we all go through, the ways we cope with stress are different. Unfortunately, I cannot provide the optimal answer as I am still figuring out for myself. I can just hope everyone finds the best coping method for them and wish them the best of luck.