The Joke

He took a deep and relieved breath, as the stinging winter air filled his lungs, revitalising every fibre of his body. The air was a pleasant change to the thick odor that surrounded the passenger next to him. For the 20th time in that flight he pondered on about how a person could possibly cover their body with such an amount of tester fragrances without suffocating themselves. Reaching no definitive conclusion, Ludvig unsteadily descended the steep metal stairs. He heard the clicking of the heels of his neighbouring passenger behind him, and resisting the urge of breathing in a second time, he hurried down the steps, forcing his knees to keep up. For a brief moment he wondered how his knees could be so stiff, yet wobbly at the same time, and ultimately discarded the question as a weird idea born from the imagination of his ever pounding headache. Focusing on stepping steadily yet rapidly down the remaining star steps, he made quick progress towards the entrance of Værnes airport. Realising that he was within a safe distance of the bathed-in-perfume woman, he took a moment to take in the landscape of his hometown. He felt all the memories welling up inside him, the good times hiking in the forest, and playing with snowballs, and the bitter memories of awkward moments spent with his so called “friends”.
As the wind turned, a strong stench of jet fuel caused him to snap back into reality, and the mixed feelings resided. The remainder of his airport stay went quickly and without any further complications, aside from his pounding headache and the fact that his almost empty suitcase arrived last of them all. This bothered him more than he cared to admit, whether that be due to his headache or the fact he needed to cross paths with the bathed-in-perfume woman again is uncertain.

As soon as he exited the airport, having barely resisted buying a coffee at the starbucks cafe, he sat down on the adjacent bench. Only now did he realise that he did not have a place to stay during his visit. This did not surprise him, as due to the spontaneous nature of his trip, he had not figured out any logistics yet. He proceeded to consider various methods of transport, but then realised that he should first determine where he wished to be transported to. He sat like this for a while, reaching no further conclusions. Due to a lack of financial resources, he needed to develop a plan that would not be to taxing on his pockets. After a while, Ludvik became quite desperate and began doubting that this journey was such a good idea after all, but that may just have been the headache and traces of fragrance that still lay like a thick woolen blanket on his brain. The fact that the cold was steadily creeping into his fingertips and nose might also have been a contributing factor to his ever worsening mood and growing anxiousness to find a solution quickly.
In this state, he quickly jumped to the opportunity of the large blue “Flybuss” bus that approached with welcome warmth. Only as he handed over a significant portion of his left over money did he get a sudden bite of regret. He was about to retract his hand when he noticed that the doors were already closing behind him while the chauffeur snatched the money from his closed hand. He proceeded to sit down in misery on the seat furthest to the back, with his lackluster luggage beside him.

As he sat there, with a gradually pulverising tailbone, bouncing up and down on the cracked winter roads, he kept plotting out a plan as to what he would do when he met the woman who had motivated this entire journey. It was at this moment when a bounce from an exceptionally deep hole in the road sparked an idea in him. He remembered an acquaintance from his younger life; Kolbjørn. Kolbjørn had been one of the few people he was able to spend extended periods of time with. They were however not best friends or anything of the sort, largely due to their severely differing views and positions on various topics. However ludvig still thought that he should be able to convince kolbjørn to lend him a place to stay.

Ludvig did care much for establishing strong bonds and connections with friends, as he had developed an art of manipulating short term relationships into getting what he wanted out of them. Therefore he found it to be a great idea to meet up with Kolbjørn, who had always been a person he could influence to his advantage.

Shortly thereafter, the bus halted abruptly at the final station. Ludvik got out and immediately utilised the free WiFi at the station to its full potential in order to track down Kolbjørn via Gule-Sider. He found that Kolbjørn lived in close proximity to his workspace, the local hospital. The cold was yet again creeping in on ludvig’s bare fingertips, as they touched the cold metal of his phone. So he decided to pocket them and move on in the general direction of the hospital. It should only have been a ten minute walk, yet his rusty navigation caused him to take a couple of wrong turns and detours. However, the hospitals tall facade eventually came within eyesight. The fast pace had warmed ludvik slightly, yet he still tried to expose as little skin to the harsh and biting wind. Therefore, walking with eyes fixated on the destination, he almost missed the familiar figure of Kolbjørn appearing around a corner.

Kolbjørn seemed not to recognise him at first, but when Ludvik ripped the scarf off his face, kolbjørns eyes instantly lit up in recognition. Ludvik also noticed a brief yet noticeable, insecure halt in kolbjørns stride. Unsure whether to embrace or simply shake hands, they settled for a handshake with a slight pat on the shoulder from ludvig’s side. As soon as the awkward encounter was over, kolbjørn tok a small step back, and greeted ludvig and inquired about the reasons for his trip here. “I am merely out on some unimportant business, but it is pleasant to see you again my friend”, said Ludvik, as he fell into something of a roleplaying act that he had rehearsed on his bus ride. “But why would you be out in the cold at this hour?” Kolbjørn replied. Having anticipated this question, ludvig fired away an answer “I was looking for a place to stay for the night, I was robbed at the airport by someone and therefore have very little money to spare. Ludvig proceeded to describe the imaginary event in dramatic and vivid detail. Unfortunately, Kolbjørn did not react in the way he had expected. A nervous flicker crossed kolbjørns face, as he looked down towards the tip of his shoes. “I can help you find a cheap hotel to stay at if you want, my car is nearby.” Kolbjørn offered. Ludvig was not happy, but rather frustrated by this outcome, and chose to push on. “I cannot stay at such a filthy place Kolbjørn you must know that. Do you honestly expect me to stay for even one second in that kind of excuse of a bed? I would rather sleep under the bridge of Nidelva before i stay at such a place,” He stated. Trying to lessen the unintentional damage, Kolbjørn said “Oh, but the beds are not all that bad, and they refurbished the place a couple of years back”. At this, Ludvig grunted, and put on a disappointed expression. “I thought better of you,” he said “After all i did for you back in middle school I had expected an old friend to greet me with a little better than insults!” “You remember Rolf? I sincerely doubt you would have been capable of being a surgeon now if I had not pulled you out from the table that time.”

Kolbjørn mumbled something under his breath that seemed to indicate that he did not exactly see the situation the same way, as he stepped from one foot onto the next while avoiding eye contact. Trying to quell the flood of anger he stuttered “I would have found you a better place had I only known you were here, all the good places need to be ordered in advance, and i am not in a financial position to rent something like that right now, and i am truly very sorry. My wife is at home and we have but a one room flat, i'm afraid.” This seemed to have worked to calm Ludvig, as his face went blank and he relaxed a little. “I understand, It truly is hard to help an old friend out I see.” Ludvik said in a scarily cold voice. “Well then Kolbjørn, have a nice day and enjoy your evening with your wife” He paused, but as kolbjørn opened his mouth for another apologetic reply, ludvik said: “I guess I will make my way towards some shelter between the trees under the bridge then.” He slightly lowered the volume as he proceeded to say “I realise I was mistaken in coming here, I now remember why I left, nobody has anything to spare for a person in need and those who by fortune get opportunities handed to them care not to share them”. With this, Ludvig turned around to leave, but Kolbjørn stopped him and said “Wait, I'm sorry, I don't know what has gotten into me. I shall ask my wife to join me at a hotel tonight. I see now how unfortunate you have been. You may stay at our place if you wish. I could never bear the thought of rejecting you in a time of need.”

A smile played over Ludvig’s face, as he exaggeratedly thanked Kolbjørn for his generosity. Kolbjørn led Ludvig on to his apartment, and gave him the keys as he drove off in his car. Ludvig climbed the stairs to flat and unlocked the door. Inside was a neatly kept bed, with a small cupboard where some food was stored. Ludvig served himself an apple, which he thoroughly enjoyed to the last bit. He then undressed and lay down on the bed.
Sinking slowly into the sheets, he lay there with a hand on his bulging purse and a smile on his face.