The Allies of Old: Book Two Renewal; Chapter Twenty-Nine "Heartbreaking Decisions"

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If you have not read the first book of the series, "Reborn", it is advisable you do so before reading "Renewal" or you will be lost. This link will provide you with a series summary as well as all sixty-eight chapters of Reborn

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Jared kept himself dimmed and followed the man who had come in from the runway Anna had recently departed from. When he entered the restroom Jared waited for the man to pull out his penis, then undimmed. The guy yelped in fear, his eyes bugging out of his head.

“Tell me where that jet was flying to.” Jared’s voice and expression was filled with menace and the man blanched.

“Um, uh, New York.”

“What airport?”

“Rochester.”

“Where can I find another jet for hire?”

“Well, I believe there’s one due ta arrive any moment sir. You’ll just have ta wait until it refuels o’ course, and get your credit card approved…

“Take me through it.”

“O’ course, yes.” The man pulled up his fly with a shaky hand and led Jared down the corridor to flight information. “This gentleman would like ta hire the jet due ta arrive on runway six.”

The young woman eyed Jared and combed her hair back with her hands. “Certainly, in fact the pilot is still fresh so I’m sure he’ll be able ta take ye as soon as he’s gone through equipment check and refueled. I can take yer credit card information righ’ now.” She quoted him the price and he slid his card to her.

His mind was in complete turbulence. He’d felt Anna distance from him the moment she’d gone twenty miles. He’d been sitting in the diner watching a family interact when his internal gauge went off and at first he’d been confused. He’d flown across the street to the department store but she wasn’t there, which he already knew because he could feel where she was, twenty miles south and increasing.

He hadn’t stopped to ponder it, just blurred after her, fear spurring him on.

When he’d stopped in front of the airport he’d experienced a moment of blind panic thinking she’d been abducted by one of the half turned bastards who worked for fallen vampires. He had felt fear coming from her in waves so it was the only thing that had seemed to fit. Except…he should have sensed another vampire’s presence.

Then he’d watched her jet lift off and when he’d reached out he’d sensed only four bodies on board and three of them were human. He thought he saw her face in the window for a moment but then the angle took her out of his view.

He wasn’t angry yet, because he was way too fucking confused to be angry. Why would she run? Why now? Had she planned it, was that why she brought him to town? But that didn’t make sense, she would have had an easier time doing it while he was sleeping. Far easier. Or even hunting-with her senses she would know how far away he was and could have used greater distance to her advantage.

It made. No. fucking. Sense.

An hour later he boarded his own jet and sat back against the seat closing his eyes, initially determined not to wonder about the reasons. But after a few hours in the air he couldn’t help mulling it over, and he came to several conclusions, all of which ignited sparks of anger that would require little to be fanned into a raging inferno.

No matter what her reason for leaving, she would be arriving in America without protection in the middle of the night. Careless, reckless, FUCK! The exact behavior he’d intended to cure her of by bringing her to Scotland.

If he had arrived at the airport just a few minutes later it would’ve taken a lot longer to find out where she was headed and therefore would not be a mere hour or so behind her. Didn’t she fucking understand that her life was in danger? That there were vampire females who would make it their life’s work to exterminate her? Or did she work for the condemned after all? Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He recalled her human girlfriend stating she was meant to be with someone named Michael, and was instantly filled with fear she was going to him. Or that human boy from the cabin. Possessive fury roared through him.

If either were the case they would not survive the night. He had given her plenty of time to break the bond, allowed her the choice. There would be no choice for her now, she was HIS, and he would have her with or without her consent.
By the time the jet landed on the airstrip in NY he was filled with barely contained rage. He found a secluded place outside of the airport, locked onto her scent and in moments he was flying towards her.

**

Anna had opted to take a cab home. Though it would have been a little faster for her to blur she couldn’t think of a reasonable excuse to show up in the middle of the night in winter without a vehicle. And she was also exhausted. Not physically but emotionally which tended to wear her out in every way.

When the car pulled into her driveway she quickly shoved money at the driver and hopped out. She raced through the backdoor and into the kitchen nearly colliding with a middle aged woman she’d never seen before.

“Oh! Oh my, Anna, you’re here! We didn’t expect you until tomorrow, in your message you said you were in Scotland…

“Is he in his room?” She interrupted impatiently. The woman blinked at her and she started in that direction, but was stopped by a pudgy hand on her arm.

“Honey, he’s sleeping.”

She had frizzy brown hair and a doughy face, and right now she was standing in her way. “That’s okay, I want to see him,” Anna spoke rapidly, attempting to pull from the woman’s grip without using too much force.

“I understand that sweetie, but you should really let him sleep. It’s difficult for him and he only gets in an hour or so when the morphine takes effect. I promise it is not his time just yet,” she added.

Anna forced herself to stand still. She had tried not to think about it on the plane, but the words “brain tumor” and “death” ultimately won out. Clearing her mind was not something she had ever been good at, meditation was not her thing. But she hadn’t cried and wouldn’t, after all she could heal him. If only this rotund woman would move out of her way and let her.

“Why don’t you let me make you a cup of tea and I can answer any questions you might have?”

Anna focused on her and saw genuine concern and sympathy in her large brown eyes. She sighed and nodded. She could wait a few more minutes, after all she didn’t want nurse Frizzy to follow her and see what was going on.

She sat down heavily on one of the four kitchen chairs that had been in their house since she was five. There was something very comforting about familiar furniture and the worn blue flowered cushions seemed like life preservers in the turbulent sea of her present existence.

“How long has he known about it?” she finally asked the nurse who was standing at the stove. The woman turned slightly, then back again, busying herself with the tea kettle.

She took out two cups and spoke while she pulled tea out of a box. “For about six months now, I believe. The tumor was discovered in one of his routine physical exams before he went off to Africa.”

Anna felt her face draining of color as she tried to get her mind around the fact that he’d been dying for six months and never said a word.

“Did he try different treatments?” her voice was strained as she imagined him undergoing chemo all alone.

“Actually dear…did I tell you my name is Bonnie?”

Anna shook her head.

She brought the cups to the table and sat down. “Your father learned immediately the tumor was malignant. And because of where it’s located it’s nearly inoperable. He was told there were treatments that might shrink it, but ultimately it was a battle he would lose. If he opted for the surgery he was given only a twenty percent chance of survival, and even then there were no guarantees that it wouldn’t return. So in the end he made a decision to let nature run its course.”

Anna drew in a sharp breath. “He didn’t fight at all?” Even as she said it, she knew that he wouldn’t have, that it shouldn’t have surprised her.

Bonnie’s hands fretted. “I have been debating if I should tell you this, I don’t want you to be hurt, and I know he certainly doesn’t,” she sighed heavily. “His reasons for not telling you go a bit deeper than not wanting you to suffer along with him I’m afraid.”

Anna drew her brows together. “Like what?” Her heart started to thump. Just as she’d not been surprised he hadn’t tried to fight, some part of her knew what the woman would say. Knew and rejected it with all her might.

“He misses your mother so very much. I’ve never seen a man so devoted.” She took a sip of her tea and there was a frown in her eyes as if this was not necessarily something to admire.

Anna’s breathing had slowed and when she spoke it was nearly a whisper. “I know he misses her. He…he,” a lump formed in her throat making it difficult to continue. “He’s broken without her.” She said the words and the knowledge of where Bonnie was headed pushed through her denial causing her lip to tremble.

“He loves you honey, I don’t want you to think otherwise. Though I must admit it bothers me as a mother to watch a parent eager to leave a world when a child will be left behind.”

And there it was.

“He wants to die,” she whispered. It wasn’t a question, it was a sentence. Anna shook her head back and forth in denial like she’d done in the dressing room.

Bonnie reached across the table and took her hand. “He’s elated about it. He’s commented to me on several occasions that his first moment of happiness since your mother left this world was when he learned he was going to die. He wants to be with her so much, but honey he’s also spoken about you constantly. How beautiful you are, strong like your mother, how intelligent and wonderful, and he feels guilty, very guilty about his joy of leaving this earth because it means he’s leaving you.”

Bonnie squeezed her hand and Anna allowed it, though nothing could have comforted her in that moment. Her brain felt numb, even as her heart quaked and her stomach rolled.

The sound of a buzzer went off startling her and she blinked in confusion as Bonnie pushed backward out of her chair.

“That would be your father, he’ll be in need of a drink.” She filled a cup with ice water and placed a lid with a straw on it. “Would you like to take it to him?”

Anna stared at the cup, and nearly shook her head. She didn’t know if she could face him right now. She didn’t know if she would unravel and start sobbing or worse, yelling. She wanted to do both. She didn’t want to do either. She wrapped her hand around the cup and headed toward the stairs, each step feeling as if it were bringing her closer to doom.

When she pushed the door of his room open she was assaulted with the smell of sickness. There was a dim light, and with her acute eyesight she could see everything as clearly as if it were illuminated by several hundred watt bulbs. His eyes were closed and he was shifting back and forth, and even though he was covered she could tell his form was shrunken.

She forced herself to speak, though she couldn’t keep the tremor out. “Daddy?”

His eyes flew open and focused on her. “Is that you baby? Come here.”

She swallowed, forcing the lump to go down and moved toward him on shaky legs. His face was narrow and gaunt and his eyes had deep black circles under them. He looked nothing like the Martin Preston she’d last seen. She knelt down beside the bed and put a hand on his trying not to cry just yet. The danger of yelling had past the moment she’d laid eyes on him. He was so frail she thought a raised voice might crumble him.

“Why?” she whispered. “Why didn’t you t…te..tell me sooner?” Tears began to leak from her eyes and he reached up and wiped her face.

“I’m sorry my sweet little girl. I’m a weak and selfish man.”

She started to shake her head but he squeezed her hand and she stopped.

“Yes I am. I knew if you were with me I would have to try. For you. And I didn’t want to, so yes I am weak and selfish. I see her face so clearly in my dreams and I-,” He stopped and looked at the ceiling, tears of his own wetting his sunken face.

“You died when she did,” Anna whispered. “I knew that. I just thought time would heal you like it did me.”

He turned to her again and managed a wan smile. “I have never been a strong man in matters of the heart. Your mother, she was strength personified. And I thank God every day you are so much more like her than me.”

Anna shook her head again. “Don’t say that,” she told him hoarsely, “I love who you are.”

“So much like her. Her heart, her spirit.” He closed his eyes again and she saw him grimace with pain.

“I brought you a drink.”

He opened his eyes again and she helped him sit up. She held the cup and watched him swallow the liquid, his eyes squeezing shut, his body trembling with the exertion.

She could make the pain go away. In just a few minutes he would begin to heal...she started to stretch her hand out to touch his head then jerked it back. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want to get better. She closed her hand into a fist and forced it to her side.

He turned his head away from the cup and she placed it carefully on the lamp stand. His eyes were still closed and his breathing was growing shallow. She eased him down on the bed, her mind filled with turmoil.

“I’m going to sleep a little. I love you. I hope you believe that, I hope you can forgive me,” his voice faded away and she watched him drift off, a knot of dread in her stomach at the thought that he might never open his eyes again.

She stood and backed away from the bed then turned and fled from the room. Once downstairs she pulled a coat and gloves from the hall closet and when she heard Bonnie getting up she hurried out the front door.

She ran across the road to the deck stairs and leaped down each flight. When she was on the shore she forced herself to walk slowly down the dock and when she reached the end of it she stood for a moment staring bleakly at the lights across the way.

DAAADDDYYY! Her heart cried out, and she collapsed to her knees and sobbed.

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