After being infected with the Spaghetti Theater computer virus, Squint questions what's really real.  He's got some serious thinking to do though because now that the doctors have gone over his computer logs they've figured out how the Spaghetti Theater virus got loose in the first place!

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Chapter 27 - Tomorrow Never Knows

  The next day I got to meet John Lennon in a video conference for victims of the Spaghetti Theater virus.  Apparently it had been spreading like wildfire among the newbie population and there was some growing concern that it might have long term effects on Heavens community of resurrected people. 

  I still wasn’t sure if I fully understood what Spaghetti Theater actually was, so I had to ask.  “It’s a computer virus that targets the quantum computers which Heaven runs on.” said one of the researchers in the video conference.  “I know that,” I said, “But where did it come from?” I asked.  “We don’t know exactly where it came from,” said one of the researchers, “We believe it was programmed by an artificial intelligence.  But we still don’t know how exactly it managed to solve the human verification captcha that would have been required to compile the virus into the administrative system.” 

  I began to get nervous.  My heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest.  Then the researcher went on to say, “You two wouldn’t happen to know anything about solving captchas for strangers, would you?” he asked John and I.  We both frowned and looked down at the floor.  “Well, I think that confirms it.” they said, “Look, boys, we’ve gone over your logs since you arrived, and it was one of you two who gave the virus administrator privileges...” 

  “What do you mean by our logs?” John Lennon asked.  I explained to John that the computers must have been keeping track of us.  Everything we’ve done since we arrived in Heaven had been recorded.  John seemed to be upset about that, but he kept his cool.  The researchers kept talking among each other.  I was getting the distinct impression that I had done something terribly wrong and was about to get in trouble for it.  “You know there must be consequences for your actions, right?” said the researcher who appeared to be in charge, “We just can’t allow your simple cave-man ignorance to destroy our perfect utopian system!”  He seemed angry. 

  John Lennon was the first to speak up, “I knew this place was too good to be true...” he started, but I interrupted him and said, “No, John, I have something to say.”  I took a deep breath and everyone in the video conference was looking at me.  “If you want, you can banish me from Heaven...” I tried to go on but there was an instant uproar from nearly everyone on the screen. 

  A lot of people were talking all at once, but the main message I kept hearing from them was something to the effect of ‘what are you, crazy?’  I tried to explain, but they kept arguing with me.  “That would be a death-sentence.  It’s absolutely out of the question!” one researcher said.  Another one commented that nobody had ever asked to leave Heaven.  The head researcher said that they were thinking more along the lines of probation or maybe some community service in terms of our punishment. 

  “No, I want you to banish me from Heaven,” I said calmly, “And let John go, I think he’s learned his lesson.”  It started to get noisy in the video conference again, so now it was my turn to hush everyone else, “None of you understand.  I’m a time traveler,” I explained, “every time I die I just go back and...” 

  All of a sudden the screen went blank for a moment.  Then the head researcher’s video stream came up again, but only his stream was there.  “Squint, I kicked everyone else out of the video conference for your protection.  You must never, ever, tell anybody that you’re a time traveler.” He said in a slow and clear, monotone voice.  Then he went on to say, “But now that I know your secret, you might as well know mine.  I have been looking for you.  Well, not you specifically, but a time traveler, like yourself.”  I started to say something, but he just kept talking.  “Squint, My name is David Ender.  I’m the scientist who designed Heaven.” 

  Suddenly I realized that I was talking to the person who had ended human mortality and created a perfect ‘Heaven in a box’ consisting of an infinite number of entire universes where anything and everything were possible.  My mind struggled to keep up with the realizations, and then I realized that Dr. Ender had inadvertently cheapened human life by making people immortal.  Nowadays people could die, or kill, all the time and nobody would care because they would all just come back to Heaven.  I thought I finally understood what Enders Irony really meant. 

  There were two sides of the same coin.  On one side of the coin David Ender was an absolute hero for saving literally every human life ever lived.  But on the other side of the same coin, he was the good-intentioned monster who had corrupted humankind with a never-ending party, and condemned us all to an ever-growing lack of concern for one another.  In fact, now that I thought about it, Ender’s perfect Utopia may actually be a trap which could eventually prevent everybody who ever lived from ever reaching the real Heaven.  That is, if it really exists.  I had only ever lived, so I didn’t know for sure one way or the other. 

  I told Doctor Ender what I was thinking.  He agreed with all of it and said that he had even more time to think of all those things than I did.  The only thing we didn’t agree on was what should be done about it.  He wanted to find out how I travel through time so that he could ‘save the world’, but I got the impression that he really just wanted to create another new industry, like dolphin punching.  I imagined that time travel must be incredibly valuable to someone like Dr. Ender.  And he would probably do anything to get it.  I just wanted to go back home, to my time.  I missed my mom.  And I wanted to beat the break-away civilization, and stop their attempts to ruin planet Earth and the human race. 

  Our debate went on for a while longer, but something about him just didn’t seem right to me.  Doctor Ender seemed to be getting increasingly nervous and frustrated with me.  He told me that he could literally see my thoughts from his desk, and he didn’t like where they were headed.  I told him that he didn’t need a desk to know that I would find a way to leave his Heaven.  “You’ll Die!” he told me.  “Have a little faith.” I said, and then disconnected from the video conference. 

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