The Wizard Pfft-Pfft Gets Pissed-Off With the Dragon Fluffy Over a Bored Game

"Damn it, Fluffy! Stop cheating!" the wizard Pfft-Pfft exclaimed, his voice raised in sanctimonious anger. He slammed his clenched fist down on the game table, causing the cards strewn across it to flutter in fear.

"I wasn't cheating!" the dragon with a penchant for sleeping in wicker baskets lined with fluffy blankets, protested. "It was just a joke! I didn't think it would count!"

But his protest fell, as usual, on unwilling-to-listen ears.

"You know the rules!" the irate Wizard continued, perhaps even more ticked-off than he'd been a few moments previously (if that were possible). "You spoke! It was my turn, and you spoke!"

"But it was a joke, Pfft-Pfft! I didn't think the cards would accept it as an answer! It was a simple mistake! Why not just ask them for a redo---"

The wizard's normally pallid coloring went from a nearly apoplectic purplish mauve, to a sour shade of lemon.

"What point is there in doing THAT?" he demanded acidly. "You've already stolen the answer. My own answer could now only be seen as either wrong or inferior."

Fluffy the Dragon, whose real name was actually something far more dashing and grandiose, heaved a sigh of frustration. Whenever Pfft-Pfft the Cantankerous Wizard worked himself up into one of his fits, something bad happened. Unfortunately, that bad thing quite often happened to Fluffy, since Fluffy was Pfft-Pfft's go-to victim whenever the ennui set in. Why the poor dragon, who'd formerly had such a lovely, awesome name, allowed himself to keep getting dragged into the Wizard's pursuit of boredom-dispersing games was another question altogether. Pfft-Pfft was a notoriously sore loser, and one with a bad temper, too boot.

As odd as the relationship between the dragon and the wizard may have seemed to outsiders, in actuality it wasn't nearly as odd as people supposed. There existed a perfectly prosaic and understandable reason why the dragon kept setting himself up as the object of the wizard's ire: despite his utterly, freakingly, wondrous appearance, Fluffy was something of a loner, a dragon who preferred the comforts of his wicker basket to socializing despite being an undeniable chick-magnet. As a result, he had a rather limited circle of friends, and, on those occasions when Pfft-Pfft called him up to see if he'd be interested in stopping by for a round bored games and breakfast (or lunch, or dinner, as the case maybe), he had a hard time saying no to the sour-puss wizard. That is how he'd been suckered into a round of "The Cards Will Ask A Question" that very morning.

The dragon sighed again, earning himself a withering glance from the wizard Pfft-Pfft, who seemed to be engaged in some sort of negotiation with the cards. Fluffy decided discretion was the better part of valor, and pretended to take a sudden intense interest in his own tail.

All of today's trouble had started with a simple riddle. As usual, the cards had seemed to take a fiendish delight in irking the ill-tempered and cranky Pfft-Pfft as much as possible. By the time the game had reached the point where Fluffy made his big mistake, the cards' questions had taken on a subtly mocking tone. With fiendish glee, they threw out the fateful question:

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Grateful that whatever barb lay hidden in the question had been directed at Pfft-Pfft, and not him, Fluffy decided to inject some levity into what had become a seriously oppressive atmosphere.

"To get to the other side?" he joked from behind one magnificently handsome claw. Never for a moment did poor put-upon Fluffy think that the cards would accept an answer out of turn.

"Correct!" they shouted gleefully.

And that was the end of that. It was almost as if the cards had been waiting for an opportunity to cause some sort of trouble!

The ultra-handsome dragon stirred himself, and sighed one more time. How did he get himself into these things? For the tuna fish sandwiches Pfft-Pfft so expertly made and served during his ridiculous bored games? Was it the glasses of warm milk? Or was he just so desperate for companionship that he didn't think twice about the obnoxious wizard's antics?

"I don't get it," he mutter to himself.

"Correct!" the cards chimed in happily.

"Wha---"

"Fluffy... " Pfft-Pfft the Wizard growled ominously.

"What did I do? What just happened?" Fluffy asked in desperation.

"After all my hard work to get them to give me a redo... YOU TOOK MY QUESTION AGAIN!!!"

"I swear, Pfft-Pfft, I wasn't paying attention! Please, don't .... ."

But it was too late. Fluffy felt his glorious scales turn into silky fur, and his huge body shrink into something much, much smaller. His glorious roar was now nothing but a hiss, and he rumbled when he thought of his comfortable wicker basket.

He let out one final sigh, and asked, "What was the question? At least tell me that."

"What did the philosopher say when he was told the joke about the chicken crossing the road?!" the cards responded merrily.

Image: Pixabay