A short story - Judgement Day

in #story-300words2 years ago (edited)

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Reverend Griffin wanted to slam closed the door, but the drunk pleaded

“Reverend, you need to see this!”

“You need to go home, Jack”, the Reverend lashed out, “Its midnight”.

But the drunk insisted, “There are some voices in the cemetery. That’s why I branched here. I swear!”

Nonsense! The dead are now talking! Aarg, the Reverend sighed, stepping out. He would just lead the drunk home.
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Back at the cemetery, the two youngsters who had breached the fence, and gathered mangoes, continued dividing the lot between themselves.

One for me, one for you…
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The moment they arrived at the periphery of the fence, the drunk, trailing from behind, cued the Reverend.

“Shhhh, you hear”, he whispered, pointing into the darkness beneath the mango tree.

And he didn’t have to say twice. The Reverend hastily dragged him to beneath the trunk of the eucalyptus leaning against the fence. They squatted, ears tuned.

One for me, one for you…the two voices continued.

Ideas started to form in the Reverend's mind. The look on the drunk’s face confirmed their conclusion was similar.

“That is Satan and God dividing people,” the drunk whispered, “You were right, Reverend, Judgment day has arrived”

“Shhh…” the Reverend implored, “Shhh…”
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Meanwhile, the two youngsters finished dividing the lot of mangoes,

“Argh,” one sighed, “they are over!”

But the other remembered the two mangoes which had fallen outside the fence, beneath the eucalyptus.

“Wait, they are not over…” he cut in, “there are two more outside the fence.”

The Reverend and the drunk’s eyes locked, only the ears remained tuned

“Which two?” The other voice inquired.

“The two under the eucalyptus tree!”

By the time the sentence was complete, the Reverend and the drunk were in full flight.

Word Count: 290
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Check out for of these kind of stories here: @ebitularmbert.

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You got me laughing out loud!! Who was the first to take flight? The drunk or the Reverend? Hahahahah.

This is a great eye opener for all. You can't be so sure of yourself, can you? Even the reverend was not.

The great moral of your story is best phrased as a question to all who will be fortunate to stumble on this great piece. That question is: "If today was judgement day, would you be ready for the hour?"

I am resteeming this post. It is a something everybody should read. Thanks

I am honored @yahwehministry. The Reverend must have been the first to take flight! The moral is just as you so aptly phrase in the question.

Our important lesson is drawn from the fact that, even the Reverend, despite weekly preaching on the pulpit, telling the 'faithful' to be prepared for the second of the LORD, yes, despite so, even the Reverend was not prepared!

It seems nobody is ever truly prepared, i imagine.

Thanks for sharing in this story. I wish that many would read it, and more than read, learn from it. Thanks again.

Superb, wonderful flow, you see the inevitable coming at you. Very neat narrative sir.

Thanks for the compliment! I am honored.

290 word count is correct. A nice funny story. Well written. Maybe it would be more plausible if the two in the graveyard were not youngsters. On the other hand, the old drunk tramp at the door Could have been a scared youngster. Why not swap drunks for youngsters? It shortens the story leaving room to increase the tension and fear.

Hahaha...I agree. That would have probably been a more interesting angle. Thanks for the perception.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

I guess the reverend was the faster of the two, equalling The Flash's speed in the process.
Great work man, I just couldn't stop laughing

I am thinking the same!! In deed, it has to be the Reverend, as his flight makes for the most dramatic scene!!

As in many aspects of life, it is easy to tell others to be prepared for some eventuality, but it is different to have to face the same eventuality yourself!

You observe correctly. Thanks

It's true, a reverend running away..., Thought he would just stay behind so as to see God face to face, and go straight to heaven.

But the question is posed.. Wasn't he righteous enough to see God, or has he been sinning in secret???

Great write up I must say my friend.
Thoughtful and insightful.
It really begs the question of our lifestyle.

The pleasure is mine, and thanks for the thoughtful deliberation

Hahahaha...this is just lovely @ebitularmbert

I am glad you find it so. Thanks

Funny story! Great comedic timing and build-up :)

The build up was not easy coming as i had to trim some scenes, and limit otherwise more revealing descriptions.

  1. The drunk could have, for instance, started off from the bar where i had pictured him and fellow drunkards discussing the sermon of the day (that had been given by the Reverend)
  2. The scene involving the Reverend could have started with him in deep prayer at midnight, before the drunk would interrupt.
  3. The scene of the youngsters could have started with them breaching the fence....
    Overall,
  4. The cemetery could have had a much deeper description to create that scary atmosphere ...

Overall, i could have done more, but the 300-word ceiling made it somewhat hard, albeit ensuring that only the most important scenes and descriptions came to the fore.

More could have probably been done, including constructing the story from the angle @swissclive has suggested above, but i am glad you still find this build up great. thanks

A well-done telling of this story, @ebitularmbert! It's a real challenge to set the scene, introduce characters, build tension and relay a message in so few words. You did a good job of it.

I have upvoted and resteemed this post as my daily post promotion for people whom I have previously curated.
Cheers!

Thanks for the compliments. I agree. It took a little more time and effort. But i am glad you think the job was well done. Thanks

You're welcome, @ebitularmbert. You really are a talented writer.
Cheers!