Costly Mistake.

in #story-300words7 years ago (edited)

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He lost his parents in a ghastly motor accident at a tender age and since then, life became difficult for him. His uncle sent him packing because he could no longer carter for him.

She came across him by the road side and picked interest on him. She offered to shelter him and assist him achieve his dreams in life. With the passage of time, she fell in love with him but he was ignorant of it because she never mentioned it to him.

Months passed by still, she was quiet about her feelings for him. She would not even allow him do any work because she was rich enough to fend for both of them.

But as a man, he felt it was time for him to work and earn a living for himself. He pleaded with her to allow him work and reluctantly, she agreed though, she was not happy about it.

Larry gets a job as a driver for a rich young lady who also feel in love with him. Unlike the Sophie, Annie prophesed his love for Larry immediately. Larry and Annie started dating.

At this point, Larry is no longer Annie's driver but lover. Larry completed his education and was ready to marry Annie.

Sophie hears of the wedding between Larry and Annie and quickly goes to Larry to express her disappointment for choosing Annie over her. Sophie proffesed her love for Larry but it was too late.

Larry was shocked to hear this because Sophie never mentioned it up until now. Larry's hands are tied, what would he do?

Would Larry abondone the woman who picked him up when he was a nobody or abondone the woman he has proposed to?

(Word count 287)

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Your story poses an interesting moral dilemma. Larry is certainly thrust into the middle ground where either choice made will leave one side hurt.

The narration however needs some improvement. I suggest you mind the following

  1. your use of tenses (present, present continuous, and past...). For example [(a. present)..life has been difficult for him...((b. past)...She came across him by the ...)].

  2. Also mind the spelling and punctuation. This may seem trivial, but they can inconvenience the reading of an otherwise good story

Cheers my friend.

Thanks for the observation. Noted.

We should not die in silence. Let us learn to voice it out regardless of what the outcome maybe. I hope Larry takes the best decision.

I get the moral of the story. I would work a bit more on the norder in which you present things and names. For example you should the characters names’ Larry and Sophie at the beginning, rather than half way through the story. That makes it confusing.

Mentioning the names of the characters half way in the story was intentional.

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