The Steem Sister Show - Episode 60 // Feminism (Extended Episode)
Welcome to the 60th episode of the Steem Sister Show!
Your hosts are @coruscate and @maryjaney. Two sisters bringing fun content to the Steem blockchain!
Topic of this Episode – Feminism
WOW, we were on fire this episode. Apparently this is a topic we both have a lot to say about - which is why it ended up being about 30 minutes long. I said this last week, but it is worth repeating. It makes me so sad that the world feminism has such a bad rap. Sure, there are some bad characters out there - but just to clear the record - feminism does not equal man hating. In fact, quite the opposite.
Here are the questions we answered this episode.
How would you define the term feminism?
@aussieninja – If you could get one wish from a feminism genie – what would you change?
Where do you still see sexism exist in today’s society?
What privileges and opportunities that we have that our mom and grandma didn’t have?
What is the Steem Sister Show All About?
We aim to bring more “non-crypto” related content to the Steem Blockchain. Although there is nothing wrong with this kind of content (@coruscate even posts on crypto related material sometimes) – we want to help create a better onboarding experience for new users. We talk a lot about attracting new users to the platform – but if the trending page is filled with crypto posts and flagging wars, they are likely to lose interest quickly.
We hope that by creating content that is more similar to what they are used to seeing on other social media sites – they will feel more excited about being here and creating content of their own!
How Does It Work?
We pick a different topic every episode, and then throw totally random questions about that topic in a hat and go back and forth. We always have a mix of our own questions and some audience questions. Our rule is that we cannot tell each other our answers before filming! So you guys are getting our raw, unfiltered reactions here.
Every episode we announce the next week’s topic so people can submit questions.
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Next Week’s Topic : Lightning Round - The Best of Christmas
We are both kind of Christmas nuts, and so we are stoked to do our first Christmas related episode! This won't be your typical long winded Steem Sister Show though... we are doing a lightening round. Real tree vs. fake? Top 3 christmas movies? Favorite type of Christmas cookie? You name it... drop ALL of your "Best of Christmas" questions below!
This should be a fun one! We have actually noticed that we go in waives of doing more light hearted and heavier episodes - and so we are trying out a new format. We are going to see how it goes if we do one more light hearted, and one deeper episode every week - just to balance things out.
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That’s a Wrap!
We hope you guys enjoyed this episode on feminism and we look forward to chatting with you in the comments below.
You should fear cops.
Their job is to impose the opinions of others on you until you're either compliant or dead.
That's how I draw distinctions. It's not between genders, it's between those who want to run the lives of other people and those who don't.
Should men and women be treated equally in job interviews? Absolutely.
Should we write a law mandating this? No.
Things like mandatory paid maternity leave have made employers more reluctant to hire or promote women.
The law that was meant to help has actually hurt, which is a story we hear over and over.
#metoo is doing damage too. Fear of career destroying accusations is keeping men from inviting female colleagues out to functions and Friday drinks, leaving all those networking opportunities to men.
Thanks so much for the thoughtful reply @mattclarke! I actually tend to be on "less is more" team when it comes to regulations as well. But then I can see both sides that if there aren't laws to protect certain classes - then they would get walked over even more.
I tend to think that the people hold the true power to change anyway. So, even if there is no law saying that people should be treated equally in an interview - that would naturally start to happen as more and more people evolve their way of thinking. If a certain company was prejudcied towards women - then hopefully that would eventually get out and people would stop patronizing that establishment. Hence their business would suffer, not based on laws, but based on what consumers are demanding (equal rights).
I think we are a long ways from that being the case - but I think we are getting there. Social change takes time and I guess that's part of the empathy thing. Understanding that not everyone who is "anti-feminist" is a bad person, but that they have their opinions based on their own life experiences.
I totally see the same thing happening with the #meetoo movement as well. Men are nervous about what they say and do around women. I almost feel like it is more of a "growing pain" kind of thing though. They were confronted with new information and are trying to figure out how to act with that new information.
Intentions aren't outcomes, though.
Unfair dismissal law, for example, has been devastating to disabled people. I once suggested to an employer, that since our entire role was text based, with no talking required, we could go out and hire a team of deaf people.
Made a great case, and even pointed to a couple of government subsidy programs that would mean substantial savings.
I didn't get an official reply, but I came to understand what wasn't spoken outright.
You can't fire a disabled person, even if they're terrible at their job; as their lawyer can claim the disability played a part in your decision and you get eaten alive in court.
If that's the kind of help vulnerable people can expect from regulation; maybe it's time to scrap the idea.
God that is so true. Once when I was in a management position, I wanted to fire this lady that was terrible - but it took me months of building a case because the company was worried we would get sued because she was a female over 40 that had been injured on the job before.
I definitely think that true change happens in the mindsets and hearts of people - not the legislation that is written by politicians.
I guess all I was saying is there are case studies as well that point to where certain legislation has helped groups - but in the larger scheme of things - I think it is a slippery slope of expecting the government to enact social change - which is not ever going to really work anyway.
Now who are you going to hire? The guy you can fire or the disabled lady you can't?
Doesn't make you sexist or ableist, just means you're responding to incentives.
I know everything you're saying here is true... but it honestly feels like a form of punishment..... 'some of you dobbed on my mates, so now we're not playing with any of you'.
I'm really torn about the regulation side of all of this... I guess the only way to get companies to do the right thing, without laws, is for some trailblazers to show the way... like Henry Ford and his 5 day work week. I think Finland has pretty strong parental leave for both genders that seems pretty fair and is working for them.
The waters are very much muddied by the public sector passtime of finding developing trends, then writing laws to take credit for them. Employers start prioritising safety, fatalities and injuries start dropping, the state writes OHS laws and publicises their results.
If they only show you the right hand side, you'll assume the law is helping
Likewise, as society shifted, making it more acceptable for women to be employed in various roles, the state started rolling out anti-discrimination legislation, etc.
Remember, there are literally millions of unproductive people who have only two goals; Taking credit for anything good that happens, and avoiding blame for anything bad.
Let the market punish bad actors. If you hire and promote based on anything but merit, then you better hope all your competitors, suppliers and customers are doing the same, or you're going to have a bad time.
Matt, this is awesome! I honestly had no idea!
I've worked in the public sector a couple of times on big IT projects, and I can tell you that your bolded comment is spot on... it's also very true of the finance sector... which is all super frustrating when you're trying to enact change.
I do think you're right about merit... as long as merit doesn't get confused with 'qualifications' or opportunities... but again, the market has numerous stories of large companies making terrible, terrible decisions because their management is completely out of touch with their customers.
This is both true, and fantastic, as long as they're not too big to fail and get bailed out.
There's also a long history of these monolithic companies strategically using regulation to keep scrappy, 'unqualified' entrepreneurs from offering their customers a new, exciting, innovative option, keeping those boys clubs from being crushed under the shifting tide of social progress.
I expanded on this in one of my first posts, two years ago.
True Matt. Look at France now. A few cops started to show empathy toward their countrymen in weeks 2-3. Now they have gone full brutal military on them. You would think they understand they work for the people - not the government. But they never do. SK.
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I'm not scared of cops because I obey the law.
I'm not worried about domestic violence, because I always have his dinner warm when he gets home.
At least you get to choose your husband.
I am not worried about anti-encryption legislation because the government wouldn't bother spying on me.
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Thanks for this sisters! I watched the whole thing and I have to be honest - I'm not a patient person when it comes to videos :') But it's definitely a topic close to my heart and you did well keeping it fairly personal - and therefore hopefully relatable to those who can walk through life without these worries.
One thing I'm adding to al conversations now regarding feminism is the fact that gender inequality doesn't solely affect women. It also affects men, which is why it's a topic that is important for both genders. There's a lot of suicides and mental illnesses that solely flow out of the pressure men experience from their surroundings to being strong, never cry, take care of the house (mortgage, bills, reparations) and be the strong and levelheaded head of the family.
These are all things 'appointed' to male figures even though in some relationships a different way of dividing these tasks might make more sense.
Anyway, just wanted to add that. Mentioning @evecab here because she's interested in the topic as well :-)
Also: brave thing you did posting this, it's not a popular topic and you (or I for posting this comment) always risk negative responses after even mentioning 'the big bad word'. It's a problem we have to feel scared or powerplayed from time to time, but it's a bigger problem we're not always 'allowed' to speak about it.
Great comment @soyrosa! White men in their 40s/50s are committing suicide at absolutely alarming rates in the US, and it's theorised that it's mainly due to loneliness - because the baby boomer men don't have close friends or people they can truly talk to... as well as the pressures of feeling outdated, losing jobs, family pressures, etc.
All of these issues, on both sides, just wouldn't exist if we started a brand new country today... it almost feels silly that our society somehow created these problems in the first place.
All that you say is absolutely true and sad. I believe this 'definition of male' is a bit 'deeper' engrained in some countries than it is in the Netherlands (although I'm living in a city, I honestly have no 'real' clue what's happening in the countryside...) but I have seen first-hand how my father (50+) has had to learn to be more emotional and expressive about stuff he's concerned with throughout his life. He even got a brain cloth from it at some point, it didn't leave permanent damage, fortunately, but I've seen how he learned from it afterwards. He's more concerned about other people's well-being and I get waaaaaaay more hugs and my mother has seen my father cry for the first time in their 35+ year marriage only 2 years ago.
Societies need time, we'll get there, but there's still a long way to go. Thanks for your reply @aussieninja, I appreciate it :-)
Thank you so much for the brave and thoughtful comment! It really is telling that we have to be so nervous to post anything talking about equality.
Thanks for mentioning that feminism is far more than just women's inequality - but that men suffer from these power dynamics as well. This conversation is really about equality for all - not just one group.
Love you for leaving this comment and adding so much to the conversation! <3
Difficult but very relevant topic to talk about on here. I can imagine it was even more difficult to address being ladies that don't usually say controversial things on here :) You made a very powerful point about empathy, which is seriously lacking in our world.
It really does suck that we are still kind of living in Mad Men. There has been some progress, but not enough.
[by the way, your friends are on to something there. All that scaring you stuff is mostly flirting/attention seeking. It's from our residual mating dance installed by nature, unfortunately :)]
Thanks so much for the thoughtful reply @adetorrent! As a general rule of thumb, I usually prefer to avoid controversial topics - but some things are worth discussing. :)
I think that is really the biggest part of the conversation right now. Yes, we can vote and buy homes without a mans signature etc... but there is still a ways to go. Societies take time to change. We are getting there and awesome guys like you that take more of that empathy mindset are what's helping us get there.
Next time one of our executives comes up to spook me - I think i'll just start laughing because i'll be visualizing your mating dance comment. hahah
Incredible episode! I love how #SSS isn’t afraid to take on any topic. Deep discussion and insightful conversation as usual :)
Thank you! Wow, I knew that some people got triggered by the topic of gender equality - but didn't realize we'd be opening such a can of worms. ;)
Glad you enjoyed this episode and hearing our thoughts on the subject!
Oh no (cringing) - can't watch. Feminism was great 70 years ago. These days it is out to destroy families, men and God. Equal rights = special rights. And if modern feminism was legitimate - feminists would be fighting inequality in the East.
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Something you should read my dear @sirknight. It's not long.
https://antifeministpraxis.com/2017/03/31/feminism-was-never-not-rotten/
This is the awful truth of feminism mielia and this is an excellent article. Thankyou for bringing it to my attention.
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Comments like this are exactly why this conversation is still relevant. You are basically saying that any woman (who isn’t from the East) that dare talk about inequality must be a man-hating, family destroying human being. And all without even taking a second to watch what we said – or probably even reading the section above that says:
One of the things we talk about in this episode is the idea of empathy. Just because someone doesn’t think that inequality or sexism still exists in modern culture – doesn’t mean that it doesn’t. We all have different experiences on this earth and understanding that sometimes our privilege does blind us to the struggles of others is important. In the same way that a man might not be able to fully understand the ways that women still deal with sexism – People like Mary and I also need to have extra empathy for minorities and other groups that experience inequality. Being two white girls offers us certain privileges – such as not having to fear a policeman in the same way that someone of color might.
Again, I want to point out that we all have different experiences and my statements are not meant to be generalized. I’m sure there are women who would say they never experience sexism, and there are minorities that would say they never experience inequality – but when you see societal patterns – that is usually a sign that there is still a problem.
This Knight appreciates the well considered reply.
Nevertheless if sexism is now of minor concern in the West - what is all the feminist fuss about?
If 'empathy for all' is your focus - why label yourself a feminist?
And finally ladies - when it comes to your privileges - remember Justine Damond? Careful what you wish for.
SirKnight.
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Hey thanks for the reply. I'm thinking you probably still didn't watch the episode based on your comments, but that's totally okay. If you know it will be a trigger for you to watch it - then it's probably shouldn't anyway. :)
Minor concern is in the eye of the beholder. I personally don't experience extreme situations of sexism (more subtle) but that doesn't mean that other people aren't experiencing more dramatic situations.
I don't label myself as a feminist. I label myself as a generally good human being that thinks everyone should have the opportunity to pursue of life filled with freedom and happiness. Regardless of gender or race.
Your final comment doesn't make a lot of sense to me - but okay. By saying that as a white female, I don't feel a lot of fear around cops - doesn't mean that i'm saying a white woman has never been shot by a cop or has been treated unfairly. In fact - there are tons of examples of women being raped by cops etc. I just haven't had any of those experiences, and so I don't feel that fear.
Just like in this entire conversation - I try to mostly talk about my own experiences and the experiences of the people around me. Much easier to have a meaningful conversation when I do that instead of making generalized statements.
I started watching - and honestly you were so apologetic, I realised you had little conviction for the topic anyhow.
You have then said here that you are not really a feminist anyhow and that you are just a good human being, who has never really suffered sexism. So my suggestion would be don't fight an enemy of the west that doesn't actually exist.
Modern feminism is playing a big role in male suicide, family breakup and is leading to new anti-social initiatives like MGTOW.
Join the conservatives.
SirKnight.
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Subtle sexism is still oppressive in so many ways. Saying that it doesn’t matter is It’s basically saying, “But you can vote now! Isn’t that enough?” Saying I haven’t been affected by sexism would be a massive understatement.
Im afraid we might keep spinning in circles if we keep going on this topic. I dont see much point in that. My belief system is one of liberty and freedom - which means you are completely entitled to your opinion and viewpoint - as I am to mine. Thanks for the comments and conversation.
Sometimes a woman (women) might use their looks, charm and sex appeal to get what they desire - this is okay and natural. However, sometimes sexy, charming women don't get what they want - and now it is 'sexism'.
You are young. Hopefully with time you will realise that men and women together, united, is far more beneficial for humanity than men and women divided.
SirKnight.
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No, no, no and no and just a little bit of yes.
You simply have an uninformed opinion. Which doesn't make you bad but ignorance is usually not helpful to understand the world.
Other anti-feminist women besides of Karen Straughan:
Bettina Arndt
Janice Fiamengo
Erin Pizzey
and must watch movie by Cassie Jaye:
Thanks for the reply @mielia. I will try to carve out some time in the next few days to watch your video and respond. Maybe I can put it on in the background while I work or something. :)
Thanks for the reply.
I was doubting/contemplating a little bit, if it was even good to link to a video of Karen. Hers are usually long and not so concise, sometimes I asked myself: Okay, what was her core point then here now? It is for people who really wish to dive deep.
Often I really had to pay attention.
I'd rather recommend the movie to which I linked the trailer.
Far more non-partisan.
After all it shows Cassie as a Feminist talking to MRAs and to Feminists in institutionalized positions. She also doesn't become a MRA or something afterwards.
Karen is an MRA I believe. (men's rights activist)
Don't feel obliged to anything.
Merry Christmas time.
My questions on Christmas is this;
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