Maid Maudlin and Queenie Do Some Squatting

And so it came to pass that after Sir Muxxy the Brave had clopped away on his trusty Martha, looking for that sports-car of all swords, Excalibur, the Quintessential QueenieJhagi (secretly informed by Coconutia that Muxxy's castle was empty) had decided to pull down the castle drawbridge and do, therewithin, some squatting. And so, she sent forth a messaging jester to contact her old chum from central Florida, Maid Maudlin the Gray (or as Queenie liked to call her, That Dumb Blonde).

A line of heralding horns triumphantly tooted before the message could be proclaimed, in regal fashion: “Hey, I'm throwing a party over at Muxxy's.” The queen's court jester, Jimmie the Strapping (so named, some speculated, because he was present in court during a premenstrual cycle later known as Eunuching Week, or “Yunk” for short), mouthed this message in the queen's very own voice, as he was talented that way and throated a high register. “And as Queen, I request your presence heretoforthwith.” The jester did not mispronounce the last word or even require a second take.

Maid Maudlin looked up from her laptop.“That's a nice British accent you got there. Say something in a male voice. A deep one.” And so, Jimmie the Strapping Eunuch, er, Jester, proceeded to regale her with an impromptu rendition of Cheech and Chong, as like she had never heard before. Maid Maudlin's heart pitter-patted and she grabbed Jimmie's ringless left hand. Anticipating an imminent cocktail, the two set off in the direction of Sir Muxxy's castle on his steempunked-out bicycle, that was given to the jester by a distant aunt.

As the jester joyfully jingled his handlebar bell, one of Coconutia's mischievous monkeys flew up behind them, humming a frenetic tune. As the monkey caught up and then pulled ahead, he sprinkled forth from his evil watering can, the same which was used to drown out a patch of Wench Weed on Squire Maudlin's Colorado farm, and this monkey did moisten all the dirt in the lane ahead of them. (Squire Maudlin, it should be noted, was the young Maid Maudlin's grandfather, the genealogy of which was not lost on that nosy blabbermouth, the Queen.) By the time the two had reached the castle of Sir Muxxy, Maid Maudlin's tiny bum was quite splattered from the tire-spitting of mud-splash it had endured on the journey.

“Oh, my poor Maid Muddlin,” Queenie consoled, “come in at once and freshen up in Sir Muxxy's guest bathroom. His towels are the softest in the land, at least, according to Lord Percival the Magnificent, who has it on good authority that the Brave Sir Muxxy is quite loathe to chafe.”

And so, while the Maid Maudlin gently patted her little bum clean, Queenie welcomed her other ill-invited guests. Lady Rhonco dismounted from her burly racoon and unstrapped its rhinestone-studded saddle, which she tossed to the page boy, young Whan. Her generous tip of steempunkcoin splatted in the dust before his feet.

A spritely Pegasus defied physics by bounding through the Dingley Dell, as if on springs. Cinderella Hughes arrived in her steempumpkin carriage (though she had to leave early). And several other editor types with quill pens and parchment scrolls stuffed in their arrowless quivers marched a line up the lane to the castle. And so it came to pass that many stiff cocktails were poured and many raucous stories were... not so much told as shown, and the POV deepened considerably.

“But QueenieJhagi,” began Maid Maudlin the Gray, about to deftly tee up her confident confidante. “Don't you think Sir Muxxy the Supple might be angry that we're squatting in his castle without his permission?”

With a dismissing, handkerchiefed wave, the unmanageable monarch calmed the maid's fears. But the eyes of the boisterous partygoers all turned toward the queen questioningly. She sensed the rare need for expository oratory, and in order to quell their concerns, QueenieJhagi opened her mouth to speak.

As is customary post-tale, apologies will now commence in the direction of @gmuxx and @jhagi.bhai and @canadian-coconut and @jimitations and @tremendospercy and @rhondak and @thechosenwhan and @pegasusphysics and @jrhughes.

All images courtesy pixabay.com. And grateful to @sirknight for the steemlords thingy.

Tag, you're it @jhagi.bhai - I think you were about to say something?

UPDATE: Check out Queenie's response!