I was at the live critique yesterday but was a little too shy to share my thoughts. I express myself better with the written word anyway.

I sensed that this was coming from a more personal perspective at home, but though that may have been the setting it certainly did not limit its application to a more universal theme.

As noted in class the “corner pocket” does have a strong connection to billiards. I would either find a better analogy, maybe sticking to the idea of construction, or go with it completely.

If you stick with the billiards theme you may have to remove the sharp edges and speak more of the contrast between violently and perhaps aimlessly hitting the balls into the pockets as opposed to gentle and intentional.

Overall I really liked this poem and your writing style. I appreciate the rawness and down to earth tone of all your poetry.