(Steemit School Poetry 100 Day Challenge: Day 10) BE A YOU

in #steemitschoolpoetry7 years ago (edited)

illustration-james-reads-feature.jpg

Dear All,

For my 10th submission, my attempt on Rannaigheact Ghairid, Irish poetic form consists of quatrain stanza where the first of which is three syllables in length, and the remaining lines are seven syllables.

x x a
x x x x x x a
x x x x x x b
x x b x x x a

All line ended with monosyllables. As all Irish poetic form, the poem’s ending circle back to the same first syllable/word/line with which it begins.

 

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BE A YOU

by Ikhwanul Halim

illustration-james-reads-06.jpg

 

                be a child,
in mother womb, slept and smiled
                born once, never save again
      your mundane, in silence, cried

                be a fool,
or, you like to be a tool
                your audacity so rude
      as a zooid, obey no rule.

                be a muse,
strummin' guitar, singin' blues
                all your sadness filled the air
      golden hair chick, high heel shoes

                be a man,
not so gentle, grab her hand
                kiss her deep, kiss her hard
      playing card, bet on a plan

                be a wise,
royal high, beautiful eyes
                the flower’s blooming in spring
      changeling gnome carved from ice

                be a ghost,
a legend from coast to coast
                lost your dear life, running wild
      as a child, forgotten most

 

illustration-james-reads-04.jpg

 

Bandung, March 17, 2018

 

This is my 10th submission for 100 Day Poetry Challenge conceived by Daniel Pendergraft @d-pend. I am still a beginner in English poems.

If you want to participate, please do not hesitate to join Steemit School discord.

Big thank @d-pend for giving me this chance to participate in this event.

 

Arts by James R. Eads

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This is my favorite poem that I've read in the beginning poet category since I started reading the poems in this challenge. Great job. I especially like this stanza:
be a wise,
royal high, beautiful eyes
the flower’s blooming in spring
changeling gnome carved from ice

I think your use of imagery and sound manipulation is highlighted by the abandoned in which you use the English language to express yourself. Keep it up.

Congratulations for being selected as the Day 10 winner for the Beginner category along the 100 Days of Poetry challenge!

Great work tackling this interesting poetic form! You succeeded admirably @ayahkasih.

enjoyed the progression this poem paints of the growth of life, from the beginning of the womb to the end of our lives.

I also appreciated that all of the progression of the narrator, the soul in this piece is from one full of a rash and brash demeanor, to a being unable to find solace in death, some type of divine reckoning.

A dun read, @ayahkasih, thank you for sharing - always a fan when I get to read your pieces.

Thank you, too, @carlamain7. I am a real fan of you 😊

This is lovely, a pure beauty... I saw my friend @acousticsteveo resteem it and I decided to read, in the end, I found myself giving upvote, resteem and now making a comment... Well done! I especially love the form... This is a pure beauty and the imagery is lovely

this is great @ayahkasih, be true to yourself, really flows really well.

Thank you, @trucklife-family. Still working to rig up my English before 100 days end. 😅

i love this poem and the painting... awesome!

Thank you, teh @mariska.lubis. I realize I need to learn more.

Really easy to read easy to understand and capturing the expressions of the poem in the artwork helps as well thanks for sharing. " be a ghost,
a legend from coast to coast" Love this line me goal in life XD

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