Floods of Spilt Milk (A Sonnet?) [100 Days of Poetry Challenge: Day 2]
A raging flood of gallivanting thoughts
Slowly meandering like the gentle Nile
Send me trickling down the years to the spots
And places I haven't seen in a while
Strange have become sights I once held so dear
Only a vestige remains of what was
Washed away from memory by the years
Spent in an insidious evil's claws
Of whose trappings I was well aware
And tried to flee but didn't try at all
Now my broken heart does fully forbear
The dire consequence of my halsened fall
And now I break free from my binders cage
But this revival is too late in age
Author's Note
I'm certainly not the best at writing sonnets and I know that but I believe the essence of this 100 day CHALLENGE is for me to CHALLENGE myself to become a way better poet than I am right now. This is why I have chosen to come out of my shell of just writing lyrical poems to try other forms of poetry. I chose to write a sonnet because I've always avoided them. Perhaps due to laziness because of their complex nature and I must admit that getting the iambic pentameter and metering of this poem did give me a lot of problems.
In the end, don't know how well I did or if this writing meets up to the requirements for a sonnet and I would leave you all to judge. Please give me your constructive critcisms and critiques of the poem in the comments. Also, I won't be leaving any reading notes here because I would love to hear your different individualistic interpretation (appreciation) of the poem. I would be giving 1sbd to anyone whose interpretation of the poem really impresses me...
I would love to thank @d-pend for this contest
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With love,
@ajremy (the teen with steam for steam)
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The sonnet is a poem of Italian origin structured in two quartets and two tercets, with undecasílabos verses and consonant rhyme, of the formula: ABBA - ABBA CDC DCD, serventesios can also be used instead of quartets, in which case the rhyme would be ABAB . ABAB. However, the use of serventesio in sonnets is not very common because it is used mostly in satirical creations. In what he did well about the choice of the sonnet as a form for his beautiful poem is in the emotional charge: that nostalgia that presages and lets flow like a river, is the last consciousness that expresses a sense of loss of useful time and quality of life. I congratulate your creative art, @ajremy.
Wow... I definitely learnt much more about sonnets from you...
Thanks for taking your time to do this for me and thanks for loving my poem.. It means a lot...
@ajremy (teen with steam for steem)
I'm also doing composition essays poetics in sonnets, but I only have achievements in Spanish, my mother tongue. In English, I only reach the structure. I'm also participating, I'm at the intermediate level. I cordially invite you to read me and give me your impression @ajremy.
Okay... I will endeavor to do just that
I really liked your sonnet. It made me remember how it feels to go back and see a place after having been away for so long, especially when that place has had a huge impact on the formation of the person that you eventually become. Great job.
Hmmn... I was actually so metaphorical with this one and hardly anything I said was literal.. I love your interpretation but I'm holding on to my 1sbd for the moment though... Lol..
Thanks for the comment... You're a great friend
@ajremy (the teen with steam for steem)
It's not perfect, but way to go on an excellent effort! Classical poetry formats, especially Sonnets, are not easy to write - not only because of their exacting technical nature; but because along with that, the poetry needs to actually flow. If you read a lot of very good sonnets (and other Classical poetry formats), they sound very musical.
I commented on @hartfloe's response, because we had almost exactly the same interpretation of your poem.
Very well done!
I know this isn't perfect... I actually saw your sonnet after I wrote this one and was so enthralled reading it .... It's kinda wonderful how you made it look so easy and all... Maybe gradually I'll learn to write good sonnets like you and someday I'll write something as good as Shakespeare's "Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Day"...
It seems pretty impossible at my level now though but hopefully with time I'll get there...
@ajremy (the teen with steam for steem)
Nothing is impossible; but if it's what you want it will take a lot of time, study and practice. I have a lot of faith in your abilities - because it's clear you really want to learn, and you have the heart for it. :)
Yes ma... I really do want to learn and develop myself much better
Mehn.. i still wonder why you think you dont meet requirements.... i like this one..i actually understood this in my own way..
As innocence and experience ...some experiences wipes of our beautiful soul. And then we get to the point wher we wished we were kids again. But we look at reality , and realize some things cant be changed.
True... There are some experiences we go through which leave an indelible mark on us and though those experiences were avoidable, we didn't try well enough to escape and now in the aftermath, we're trying to deny that it's our fault and we want to change it all but in the end, we see it's just too late to cry over spilt milk...
Thanks for the comment
@ajremy (the teen with steam for steem)
A heartbreaking write, ajremy. It pains me to think of children in such a position. The poem is very powerful.
Thanks..... I really tried to come across like I was in deep agony with this one... I always love to channel all my emotions into my work... I'm glad you loved it..
@ajremy (the teen with steam for steem)
@ajremy,
You've definitely got the goods my friend ... real poetic talent.
Your post inspired me to write a sonnet, in a modified sonnet form that I came up with about 10 years ago ... with an accompanying explanation as to it's construction. The "Savagerean Sonnet!" :-) :-) :-)
It's never made me an money.
Go take a look.
Great job. Keep up the good work.
Wow... It's the second poem inspired by this sonnet.. @hartfloe wrote one too for his day 5 entry
Savagerean sonnet, aye?
I'll defs want to see it.... pls attach a link here
@ajremy,
Here's the link:
https://steemit.com/poetry/@quillfire/raving-refrain-poem-a-savagerean-sonnet-explanation-100-days-of-poetry-contest-day-5
I loved your sonnet. Good choice of form; one of my favorites. Good luck, @ajremy.
Thanks.... I'm glad you like it...
Very good I think. Writing poetry is talking about soul and imagination. the more you can manage both them the more you produce powerful poetry. good luck
Thanks for the tips.... I think I could use that in subsequent poems
@ajremy (teen with steam for steem)