7 educational mistakes you're probably making!

When we talk about rude or spoiled children we must focus on the people responsible for their education and upbringing, not the child itself. The children are blank canvases and they are drawing their personalities, habits, tastes and beliefs with the solid base that supposes, or should suppose, what the adults responsible for their education and upbringing are doing and in the decisions that they are taking as referring to the small one.

Many times, and with the best of intentions always, we make mistakes in the education of children that have clear consequences in their upbringing. That is, we self-sabotage without realizing it and we send contradictory signals to the child who, in the face of the different signs, ends up in a mess and, as a consequence, acts as he wishes without having a behavioral guide when he feels that he has lacked it, despite that we considered that we had been clear with the way of acting that we expected or wanted from him.

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Children can be more or less active, more or less clutter, with ideas more or less crazy, more or less gross but, in general, a healthy child is everything and nothing at once and it is the job of a parent to channel their energy in the right way, as well as providing them with tools that allow them to manage their emotions and, also, a guide on behavior so that the child knows how to behave and in what way depending on the place and the people around him.

However, when we see a child who hits, answers or spends the whole day bothering his siblings, friends, parents ... we do not realize that the problem is basic, of the educational base of the child, and that it is of little use a punctual reprimand if the problem is not attacked from the root.

That said, it is normal to make mistakes, we are not perfect machines and we must adapt the way of educating the personality of each child, which means that, inevitably, we will be wrong in many things. In the end, what we must keep in mind is the need to apply, with discipline and coherence, educational norms and strategies, avoiding falling into common mistakes like the ones we detail below:

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1- Do not scold in public

we must always draw attention at the moment if we are facing a situation of danger, such as when they are running down the street without looking or pushing another child onto the road without realizing the danger it entails. However, you must avoid scolding or disciplining the child in front of people. When you do it, they are more focused on the people around who may be listening to the scolding than on what you are trying to teach them.

When it is necessary to call attention to the child we must do it in private, in a place where we can talk about what has happened without anyone hearing or seeing us. If we can not find a suitable place at the moment, then it is better to briefly call them and tell them that we will talk later at home. And do it, never forget that we said we would talk later.

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2- Do not skimp on the instructions

You've told him a million times not to leave his jacket lying on the floor, so why do you keep doing it? Believe it or not, you probably do not really understand what you are asking, after all, when you ask him to 'behave well' it implies different things depending on whether we are in the park, at the cinema, having dinner, at the grandparents' house or in the one of some friend. So we must make the instructions as specific as possible, tell your child what to do or what you expect him to do, for example, recovering the previous situation, we should say: "Please hang your jacket on the rack when you reach home ", instead of what you do not want to do:" do not throw your things on the floor ".

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3-Bribe the child to avoid tantrums or get something quickly

You may be tempted, from time to time, to bribe your child to cut a tantrum or to do something quickly. This strategy works at the moment but has long-term consequences because what you're doing is rewarding bad behavior, so do not be surprised if you have tantrums just to get what you want.

Children need to realize that behaving well, whether waiting patiently in a supermarket queue or being friendly with a friend or sibling, does not have a reward, but simply that is how they are expected to behave.

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4- Go mad

It is difficult to keep quiet when the child has just flushed your favorite watch over the toilet but screaming eliminates the possibility of reaching your child. Children can not absorb lessons when they are shouted or closed in band or go crazy with you and they also end up screaming. The best option is to always talk calmly but explaining what we did not like and letting the child know that if he continues like this or responds with shouts, he will have a consequence to which he must adhere.

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5- Taking things personally

The reasons for children to act are many and varied, they do not have self-control and they learn based on testing the limits. They need your attention for their development, they are not doing it because they do not like you or they do not like them, they are simply exploring how to get what they want or in what way, whether it is love, ice cream or 5 more minutes of play.

If you take these things personally you will not leave being affectionate and will have consequences in your affective bond. Continue giving him kisses and hugs but let him know that, in the same way that you do not disrespect your son, you will not allow him to miss you.

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6- Embarrass or compare the child

Embarrassing the child or comparing him with siblings or other children is never a good educational practice. This makes the child feel resentful toward the other partner and prevents him from improving his behavior. Discipline should be applied focusing on what each child does well and not on comparing attitudes, when we do it this way children improve their attitudes and aptitudes and relate to positivism with others.

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7- Give too long speeches and arguments

And finally of course you should explain to your son why spilling water on the dog has been wrong but his antics do not require a 40 minute conference, besides, it will probably stop listening to the two phrases. Instead he briefly explains why soaking the dog has not been well and makes it clear that he should not do it again.

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This is all for today's friends! I hope this guide has been of interest and usefulness to you about what you are doing wrong in the upbringing of your child. Teaching the little ones in the house is not an easy task, but we are sure that it is fundamental for the future of our children and it is our duty to ensure a good education for them. Greetings to @steemiteducation, it is a pleasure to be part of this community and be able to help them be bigger.