Where Has all the Conscience Gone?

I was raised with absolute respect for my elders. I didn't dare talk back or disrespect them in any way. Sure, I could disagree, and have an educated conversation about it, but I knew to do so with dignity and honor. In fact, I believe this upbringing paved the way for my lifelong compassion and respect for all living beings.

I stumbled across a thread on Quora asking teens what things other teens do that makes them cringe. The responses were alarmingly universal: vaping and drinking/drug use- especially posting videos on social media of them blowing their clouds into the camera or showcasing their binging, excessively following "popular" trends and social media stars, romanticising depression and mental illness, and most of all: blatant disrespect of elders in public.

Teens are sick and tired of other teens disrespecting authority figures. And it's not limited to parents- teachers, preachers and any adult in a leadership role is victim to the slaughter. Unfortunately this is the new trend, and it's growing at disturbing rates.

Teens are inherently loyal and form an allegiance with their peers, so for them to openly complain about how rampant their friends' contempt and abuse toward elders is, and even admit that it is so widespread that it's making them uncomfortable, is a truly frightening statistic.

I get it, being upset because something is lost due to a consequence of one's actions can be a real bummer. But that's no reason for vulgar public insults and barbaric displays of hostility. And guess what? Such is life. In the really real world there are big consequences to actions and some actions even result in a loss of freedom. Something that the "authority" figures try to impart before the real damage is done, because once you are 18 the consequences are permanent. When a girl has to be physically escorted (read: drug) out of class several times a week because she feels she is entitled to do whatever she wants while on the teacher's and other students' time (read: disrupts the entire learning experience for all by screaming of her "rights" being violated after the teacher asked her to please sit at her desk during the lecture) there is a terrifying problem. The fact that nothing is being done with young adults like this only enables more of the same behavior.

In a consequence-less society, anarchy reigns.

In a suburb of a large metro city in America, children are being allowed to get away with pretty much anything. I don't know if this is happening everywhere, but I'm afraid if it's not already it's coming soon to a town near you. And if you think this will never happen where you live you just haven't heard about it yet. I didn't.

A boy of 15 throws a tantrum and physically attacks another with weapons, drawing blood and splintering bones, then threatens murder and goes for a knife before police arrive. Luckily the 15 year old did not do more damage as he was quickly subdued and held by a bystander.

The law is unable to place the boy in custody because he is supposed to be wearing a cast from a previous injury. Note that I didn't say the boy IS wearing a cast- he is "supposed to be" but keeps cutting the casts off as soon as his family gets home from the hospital.

The boy is allowed to remain free to go on to cause more destruction. No accountability, no consequence.

The law has its hand's tied: between overcrowding, underfunding, and lenient laws for underage offenders, minors have to commit three class A misdemeanors or a "really bad" life-threatening felony to be booked and housed behind bars. Words from the law enforcement officers mouths.

So a child with a broken arm can walk right up to a Sheriff and assault him and just be given a warning? I find this hard to believe, but the county social services attest that this is the sad state of the law. The law has no rights. Parents are up against the wall as they know their family member best yet it takes a number of "professionals" (read: strangers) to even begin to address the child. Mental health services are limited, and often have six month to two year waiting lists, and that 's only if the minor is willing to receive treatment as they are not allowed to force. There is nowhere to turn for anyone. They fear for the day when more teens catch on to these loopholes. The saying it takes a village to raise a child stands true to this day, but when the villagers all have their hands tied the community smolders and burns.

Perhaps most importantly: Parents have no rights.

Parents are the first teachers of the child, and the ones with the most care for that individual. They are the ones with the hardest job- yet their rights have been stripped to bare bones. They have severe limitations in punishments and consequences, yet are the first (and usually only) who get the fingers pointed at them.

Teachers are the second lines of defense as they have the child 8 hours a day during formidable years. Yet they suffer with severely overcrowded classrooms and not able to provide individualized attention, and have their hands tied as well. They are walked on and abused almost as much and have limited courses of action.

What is this world coming to???

I don't see things getting better anytime soon, either. These young adults are soon entering the real world, and will subsequently be sending their mini-me's out in public.

I blame the "participation trophy" movement in part.

Everyone on the planet is good at something, and not very good at most everything else. 'Tis the nature of life- we each have different things we excel at, and it makes for a balanced world. Imagine if everyone was good at football, and nothing else? Who would research disease? Who would breed animals and grow food for consumption? Who would treat and set the broken bones of the football players since that is all there is?

For about a decade the participation trophy movement has been growing. Every child who is on the team gets a trophy at the end of the season, even if he is uncoordinated and rides the bench, even if she hates sports and refuses to participate and is only there because her parents paid the fee.

This sends a dangerous message.

This is not natural. Not all Olympians win the gold medal. Not all scientists get the Nobel Prize. Only the best of the best are rewarded for hard work and achievements. This not only recognizes the leaders of the field, it gives everyone else something to work toward. Something to aspire toward.

In the last decade, helicopter parents started bitching to the officials, and just to shut them up trophies are now handed out to everyone, even the kids who would much rather be somewhere else. (And would probably excel in another totally opposite thing, given the chance.)

This teaches kids that they do not have to work hard or aspire to greatness because everything is handed to them. They do not even have to do a single thing- just show up. And they don't even have to show up half the time. As long as the parents paid the fee the child will receive a cool award.

Millennials are getting a bad name because of this. These "participation trophy" kids are entering the workforce and expecting not to have to do much and they'll get a paycheck. In a way you can't really blame the kids, they are conditioned. "No Child Left Behind" isn't helping, either. Kids are being fast-tracked through school because holding a student back to repeat a grade looks very bad on a teacher's record. Not to mention what teacher wants another year with the girl who is so disruptive she is physically removed weekly?

There are many good kids, don't get me wrong. But the foundation is being laid for failure, underachievement, hostility and violence.

This also leads to an inability to self regulate emotions. The adolescent years are supposed to be a time when you learn who you are and get small tastes of what the really real world is going to dish out to you on a cold and uncaring plate. With parents and other authority figures around, you have someone who has "been there, done that" and both offer advice to help you through what you are dealing with and imparts consequences to actions that are similar though less harsh than the ones you would have as an adult.

When you have never felt disappointment or heartbreak, you will never know how to act or react. When children grow up without normal life disappointments and pitfalls they naturally lack the skills to overcome and eventually move on, which sets a dangerous trap when the bad things happen and there are no adults around to care for you and help you though.

A Ted Talk by Simon Sinek sums it up accurately:

Because many young people are not equipped to deal with real-life societal pressures and can’t find happiness without a sense of accomplishment, the realization can sometimes have a devastating effect.

“That crash can lead to suicide, that crash is a crash of no self-esteem because nothing has ever given you self-esteem because you’ve never been taught what self-esteem comes from, and that is accomplishment. Doing something.”

I have been running a home rescue for severely abused pets since 2009. My sons have grown up with pockets of kittens and lapfulls of puppies; knowing how to inject IV's and get dying newborns to take lifesaving nourishment from bottles.

My oldest son came home from school a couple years ago almost in tears. He scooped up his own rescue kitty (who became a permanent resident due to having half a brain and other medical conditions) and held her close and asked me what was wrong with people?

He went on to explain how a discussion with his peers moved to pets. And how little regard his peers had for them. "They were talking about how they get rid of them so easy, Mom," he said, "how when they are no longer cute little puppies and kittens they send them to the shelter and replace them with new, young ones."

"They are part of the family. How can you throw away a member of your family? Especially when you know that the shelters kill most of the animals that you bring in because there are just too many and no-one wants to adopt an adult."

I didn't have a good answer for him, except to remind him there are good home rescues just for that reason.

He was no longer welcome at home so they threw him out on the street.

Teenage kitten, (later named) Nostreak, waits for his owner after being evicted from his home. Abandoned on the street corner with his litterbox and belongings in Brooklyn, New York, the one year old kitten cries in fright and confusion.

Where is the owner who the kitten bonded with? How can someone just throw away a member of their family like that? Did he have an accident outside of his litterbox? Did he scratch the couch? All things that can be remedied with training and nothing that warrants being thrown out on to the street with your belongings.

Luckily for Nostrand, a concerned citizen passed by at the right time. She took a photo of the travesty, but just then Nostrand ran away as a street sweeper came by. FAT cats of New York shared his story and he was soon found in a back yard, treated at the vet, and found a loving home.

But most discarded and abused pets do not have a happy ending.

The home rescues and vets I work with see this more and more. A blatant disregard for life, feelings, and self.

Being the most intelligent and "ruling" life form on this planet, humans are charged with caring for the other beings on this Earth. And not only that, I would think it was an unspoken but universally felt inner sense of responsibility that would drive this care. Social media is receiving more uploads of disturbing acts against animals. Heartbreaking videos of disgusting acts of violence against pets are going viral- be it the shock value or lack of respect for life perpetuating this trend.

This is how I got involved and opened my home: I couldn't not, it wasn't even an option.

But I digress. Just the kids at the lunch table, who wouldn't abuse an animal but see no harm in abandoning it when they're "done" with it, show me that there is something terribly broken in society today. This seemingly not so bad act mirrors the lack of respect that is becoming prevalent.

This is becoming a throwaway society. Instead of fixing it, we throw it away and get a new one. Phones. Televisions. Marriages...

Emotional literacy, consequences for destructive behavior, trophies for the top in each subject, and the law giving parents back the right to govern their offspring- these are all only part of the answer. There needs to be an entire paradigm shift in society before the deterioration becomes greater than can be salvaged.

Newtons Law: An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an outside force.

I hope it's not too late.

Thank you for reading. I truly appreciate you being here. Here's your prize ;)

Sources: Time, NT Times, The American Board of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology (ABCCAP), The Local (France), Dr. R. E. Anderson UW
Images via Creative Commons and Pexels

---

---

❤

I appreciate your support :)

If you find this article after day 7, please consider upvoting a recent article.