RE: Forgive & Forget: When To Forgive & When To Let Go
I had a falling out with my own mother. It was a long and unhappy situation that lasted for years and years. We eventually moved on. We were both wrong. I apologized and attempted to make amends. Her pride has not allowed her to, I guess... She allowed me to start an email only relationship with her. For many years now, that is how it has been. Email only. Polite and friendly, but not close. Not mother/daughter material, just friendly acquaintances at best. I have not been home in 16 years. I am not welcome there. My mom has never met her grandkids.
It is a heart wrenching situation. I have cried many tears about this and been depressed for a long time about it, but I have learned to move on.
My happiness cannot be dependent upon her attitude toward me. I do the best I can, raising my kids, being a good wife, living my life. I really, really needed a mother's love and understanding during those years, but did not get it, and it has made me a stronger person, I suppose, being forced to do without.
I feel melancholy when I think of my family and parents, but I wont let it suck me down. And I FOR SURE will never do the same to any of my kids.
Thanks for your post! ♥
Reading your post brought me to tears. Sixteen years is a lifetime for some. I can't imagine.
I am so sorry for the situation you have been dealing with.
I have to admit when I met my oldest daughter for our first lunch before I was nervous... I felt as if I were going on a first date. Was I wearing the right pair of jeans? Did my hair look good? It was so nerve-racking!
The thing that really upset me as this turmoil went on was one of my daughter's in-laws told her to just forget about it. Just let our relationship go. All I could think was.. if this were my daughter-in-law or sister-in-law or whatever the relationship was, I would tell her to talk to her relative. Make peace. Sort it out. It saddened me that someone who didn't know me or the entire situation could be so brutal and harsh.
My dad always told me... in every argument, divorce, etc there are three sides to the story. His, hers and the truth in the middle.
Thank you for understanding. I dont talk about it much. Mostly because it is negative and I try to avoid negativity, and partly because I am a little embarrassed about it. Seems like most women have great relationships with their parents...
Good for you trying to make it right and fix things! I think that is important! If they won't reciprocate that and make an effort to make things right, then at least you can rest easy knowing at least you tried.
I cant believe someone would tell your daughter to just forget it and give up on the situation. Especially an in-law! How callous. I know I would also encourage any of my kids' spouses to go and fix things. Life is too short to have negativity and dispute, especially within family.
Your dad was quite right, definitely three sides to every story, and no single person is ever to blame.
I think some people like drama though. Some people seem to thrive on bickering and strife. I have some in-laws that are constantly doing this amongst themselves, and it really seems like they enjoy it in a perverse way...
Sad that this is where society is heading...
True...