Lost In The Deep Blue Sea - 1 Month On Steemit!

Man, what a rollercoaster ride this has been.

I joined Steemit a little over a month ago. I had no idea what I was about to get myself into. Heck, who am I kidding? I still don't know what I've gotten into. Steemit consist of its own little world. A world that I had no idea existed previous to the day I joined. I heard about this platform, checked it out online and was intrigued immediately. You mean to tell me that people get paid by doing something as simple as sharing a picture with zero words!? I'm not talking about chump change either. I'm talking like 20+ for a payout on something so simple. I know that $20 is probably chump change to you but to me, a woman who has been a stay-at-home mother for over 3 years, that's actually a lot.

HA!

I was dead wrong on my expectations. That excitement when I asked myself that question has now turned into, "Wait, what? People are actually getting paid that much for something so simple...?" My tone changed real quick.

Then when you continue scrolling you see that the post right below it, is perfect in every way yet the payout is insanely low. No, I'm not talking about me here. I know that I am new and I still have a long way to go before I earn the right to bitch about my post making nothing. I just think that in the long run, Steemit will be better off if people continue down the path of quality content. Of course, to hit trending you can't share just a picture and expect to make it there. It's just that as a newbie, it makes you feel like your time is wasted when you write something that you think is great and that single picture made twice as much as you did. As with anything though, success will not ever be easy and that includes coming here to Steemit. I never joined with the intent to get rich quick, I knew that it was going to take time. I immediately was drawn to the community that is here, not just the money.

For me, I am truly grateful for anything that I can get. It has been a blessing to have the opportunity to stay home with my daughter but lets face it, financially it isn't easy. Lord, bless my husband for taking on the weight of the world just to be sure that we are able to make the choices that we feel are best for our daughter. That doesn't mean I don't want to make it to the top of Steemit one day. Of course my goal is to grow into a big fat whale.

Shortly after I joined Steemit, I stumbled on the #dolphinschool. I am so thankful that I did because let me tell you something, this little fish would of been dead by now. I gained an incredible amount of much needed knowledge. I am proud of myself for what I've accomplished so far. I have 196 followers, following 154, made 435 post and my reputation is at 47.93! I have also met several amazing people.

All I know is that I've wasted all these years looking for something, a sort of trophy I'd get only if I really, really did enough to deserve it. But I don't want it anymore, I want something else now, something warm and sheltering, something I can turn to, regardless of what I do, regardless of who I become. Something that will just be there, always, like tomorrow's sky. That's what I want now, and I think it's what you should want too. But it will be too late soon. We'll become too set to change. If we don't take our chance now, another may never come for either of us.
-Kazuo Ishiguro

I find myself struggling a bit now more than ever though. I write down these long drawn out ideas and my anxiety just deletes them as if they are nothing. I don't know why because Steemit is a wonderful place to express yourself. I can't go on my facebook and say half of things I can say here. I can't spread inspiration and positivity on facebook because that little world over there is like a freaking war zone majority of the time.

So here I am, lost in the deep blue sea of Steemit.

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I check trending and kick myself in the ass when I'm done. I can't cook to save my life so I can't share recipes or food porn. I know very little about Crypto so I can't join in on the fun there. I don't travel so those blogs are out of the question. Hell, I don't even leave my home. Cartoons, ABC songs and Peppa Pig have invaded my life.

Who am I!?

I know what my niche is. I know what I want to write about and I know that with practice my writing will improve. Although it is really hard to write long, well thought out post when you know they won't get seen because you're new. This is my problem, I have come to a road block. I've tried writing about a ton of different topics but nothing sticks. Maybe I wouldn't care so much if I stopped writing what I didn't enjoy the most. I have doubted and stopped myself from writing what I like to talk about for whatever reason.

In my time here, I've learned that there is no point in trying to fit in with the big guys when that's not who I am. My life isn't exciting enough but that's okay. I didn't want to start sharing about my interest in spiritual topics until I had followers with the same interest but I will never find them if I don't write about it.

I'm very thankful for the followers I do have that try to Upvote and comment as much as they can just to let me know that they are still there. You guys are the real mvps that help keep me going. The biggest thing that I have learned is to build your own circle. Wait that's not true, build your own empire!

Steemit is so rewarding though. I may be one little baby fish here that means next to nothing. However, I do mean something to my family and that's why I am here. That includes making new friends and learning so much incredible knowledge from all of you. That is what helps mold us to become better people and to better ourselves.

I do have goals that I am working towards. One of my goals is to have 500 followers by six months of being here. I plan to continue learning how to become a successful blogger and I want to continue meeting more like minded people. I also plan on joining in on the Crypto talk within the next few months. Starting this week, I plan to just let go of the fear of the unknown and discuss what I came here for. I'm not a religious person so I don't mean that I am going to go bible thumping the Steemit platform. I want to discuss ways for people to better themselves, tips to manifesting success and steps to a happier life.

Steemit has been an amazing blessing that has come my way even though some days I want to quit. Some days I want to give up on myself and admit my failure but I am not going to do that. There are so many wonderful people here that bring so much to the world. I would be stupid to close this chapter in my book so soon.

I think I will end this with some very wise words from the King himself

When things go wrong, don't go with them. -Elvis Presley

Don't miss out on this awesome contest that @terminallyill is hosting right now. CONTEST TIME! 10 STEEM BEING GIVEN AWAY IN PRIZES! THIS IS A MUST READ ARTICLE FOR EVERYONE!

Do you like spooky stories? Enter Here.

My Suicide Note-I Wonder Why is a deep poem written by me and I also share my thoughts on depression.