Lessons !@#$!!#@$
Ok I am human, and if this comes as a shock then - um... you should probably take up a good hobby like poking smot or counting you chickens before they hatch.
I love you guys and girls, but I have been sort of in a zombi zone for the last 24 hours - and here is why. Nahhh I do not want to bore you with those details. Here is what I DO want to bore you with:
One of my most cherished humans - a very special friend - found out that I was a dum-dum recently and I confided in this friend IN WRITING about some very personal stuff. Well... I misjudged the sanctity of our bond - and it turns out my confession went beyond this friends threshold of tolerance. So I was tossed to the wolves - and to my dismay I probably should have seen it coming. Well, I have since been "forgiven" but ... after seeing someone under that light - it kinda changed my inner voice about this person.
What the heck man? How quickly can one thing change how warm or cold you are ?
One thing about me - no matter how mad someone makes me, and no matter how much I feel hurt or used or whatever - I forgive quickly and I naturally am a grudge free gal. Even in my WORST days I would never be quite as cruel as my special friend was to me just a day ago.
It was shocking and devastating and it hurt as much as when my husband died in 2007.
Like OUCH! Stomach sinking, heart aching and sobbing into the night type of crushed, almost as if I had suffered a great loss like death or divorce. I am telling you right now 24 hours later my eyes are still swollen from crying.
In my fresh, new "forgiven" status - I am actually frightened of this person now.
What do I do ? How do I forget that terrible, cold reaction to my confidential chat? Oh - I should add that it was not kept secret either, I was thrown under many busses.
Any thoughts?
Love you all - lets hear how YOU react to cruelty.
Does someone EVER deserve an intentional painful cold shoulder?
Talk to me . 
It was like being told at 14 to believe in the Lord. Accept him as Lord and personal saviour. That done. Next love the brethren especially men and women members of the household. Thats a way of life for Christians ( born agains) You found joy doing it till one day a trusted brother stole your money fom you room. Forgiven! Yes,but cant afford not to remember. God's grace plays out here as if it did not happen but I have to be wise.
You are kind. Blessings
We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.
When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future. @lorilikes
I guess you should forgive or take a break with that particular person. Break is better than hatred.
Thank you for your considerate reply! I notice that you took the time to answer my question. I like the way the truth was your guide here - and you said the “hard to say” things which means
Thanks ❤️
Appreciate it lori. hopefully you'll find your answers soon. Lots of love ♥ and take care @lorilikes and yes do me a favour and write another article about the results. I'd like to know more. Thanks
Ohhh. That's very emotional. Sorry to hear that @lorilikes
When someone just starts giving you the cold shoulder out of nowhere, and you don't even know what you've done wrong...
But always human wanted someone they can stand out trust worthy. Even every human make mistake but we have to move and take some knowledge of them. I had gone through like this before. I know how you feeling. Make yourself more beautiful. Take pride what you are doing. Don't hesitate after doing something that results in something weird. Hope you will be all right.thanks for sharing this.
Stay blessed.
Some friends aren't worth it as they are not real friends.
It must be YOU to do this judgement though, so consider that.
In your current situation, it may be hard to believe, but time is a great healer. Take care.
Some people eagerly await for us to share with them just to go behind our backs and tell our thoughts. These are the people I give random information to just to see how far the gossip will travel.
It is hard to forget even though the person is forgiven, but the old saying kill em with kindness; this is the best advice I ever received!
You are my kinda girl, In fact we maybe grew up in same city or something. Which means I LIKE YOU but you are already doing what I am probably doing. And as you can see from my struggles - what I am doing for now - isn’t working. I keep thinking maybe I should toughen up and dish out the inevitable... I don’t even know what I am saying actually. Who knows.
I get it, and hey sometimes it is best to say your piece to whomever has betrayed us and let it either grow or fall off, if they are truly your friend, they will recognize their wrongdoing, unless you are dealing with a true narcissist and that could be a lost cause. When the time is right you will decide what you will or will not put up with from others, I don't know you from atom but I do know that you are stronger than the troubles you are facing!!!! Call out the @problem and tell it how you demand respect, because you are a strong Woman!
Right on!
❤️
I try to keep people aware of the fact that I am not an expert on anything - at all- other than messing things up when they are going well and writing in a way that draws an audience.
The combination is tragic.
However - in a business setting it works magically so my clients get the results they want as long as the work never becomes personal - then it’s hard to not mess up. As I mentioned I am good at messing up.
Lol but I change a lot, often too. Did you ever notice my moods swing like the pendulum in a grandfather clock . ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I think we all tend to mess up that is what is so 'awesome' about being human, but as long as you realize the times you have messed up and changed behaviours because of that realization then you are still better than what the problem was in the first place. Work and personal can become full of unwanted issues I know that all too well.
I don't exactly know what happend to you, but one think I can tell you is, if you for example need some time off, just take it from here, from everywhere where you need to take a break of.
I can understand your feelings for the situation with your friend. Some friends are valuable as same as close relatives or husbands/wives, some are even more valuable sometimes. And to see someone going away is also hard, but seeing it from the other side it is sometimes needed, otherwise it would end in a complete tragedy. So take your time to come over this, cry as much as you need, because it helps and after this take your time to come back on your feets.
Uh oh. I have ties to people who are getting entangled with my real life. I hope it doesn’t interfere with my ability to speak freely. I cherish the sounding board here, and I love that I can be totally real and ... I hope it’s that way forever. Your comment made me wonder if all my words would cause someone sadness, would I still be saying these things ? My details of each scenario of my life will always be kept slightly cryptic, but there are a few hints that may be obvious to a few people ...
I am not sure. Thank you for your thoughts and FYI it’s not about the person by whom we (you @cantdecide And I ) are connected. Unrelated stuff.
❤️
It should never interfere with your ability to speak freely, maybe you have sometimes to choose your words more wisely, but still you should be able to speak free in the end :)
Good to hear that it is not about the person by whom we are connected, but haven't thought it anyways.
Just makin sure. ❤️
Shut them out of your life forever. I only surround myself with positive vibes. If you are someone that brings me down or can’t be trusted your out! Life is short. You don’t need people like that in it.
Well, if I did that forever as you suggest that would be a grudge which is harmful over long term . I think you are right about cold shoulder but forever is not a healthy time to close the door on someone you love in friendship . Thank you for your honesty though - but I bet you and me both have some letting go of old stuff to do. ❤️
For me life moves fast. If your not family or a business relationship... bye! Might Sound’s harsh but if your holding onto something that’s detrimental to your way or life or how you feel, if they are not family I would close the door.
It is harsh but it’s a more common consensus than I realized. So this is how people deal with heart aches ? Just close the door? It’s smart.
Oh dear Lori! I am so sorry to hear about this sad and bitter experience. I have been there myself and I can understand how painful it is to be betrayed by someone you thought was your friend and cared for you. For me it did change me, I am a lot less trusting then I used to be (which is not the way you want to be and I am sure it is not in your nature). I think you are right to be terrified of this person as s/he must be a really vicious soul to do something as hurtful as this. If I were you, I will distance myself from this person for good, as they say: Once bitten twice shy! Sending love your way!
Lucy I love the way you word stuff . Interestingly you are the 2nd person suggesting a permanent goodbye.
I didn’t realize people so commonly are faced with this hard choice - this is a common response yet to me it would be harder to stay permanent in that closed status than to quickly forget he past and enjoy not repeating. (Hopefully )
You are a kind soul Lori and as I rightly picked up you are a better person than me! I don't have such a big heart (I think I need some self improvement :)). I think forgetting the past and not repeating it is certainly the healthier way of moving forward. I think I will try to apply it to my life as well.
Much love!
Typically, I'm the creature of extreme cruelty and my particular circle, but the rest of the humans involved are well educated as to the dangers that they take and remaining within tentacles' reach, so things work out pretty well.
But we are talking about a cold shoulder here? The "I'm going to go do something else and not you" level of temporary social exclusion?
That's not cruelty. That's an open gift. You should thank them for their grandfatherly kindness.
Now – to me the real violation would be in sharing personal conversation with other people. I can forgive cruelty. I can even admire well executed cruelty, even to myself. You have to take pleasure in a job well done.
But trust-breaking?
That's the sort of thing that gets you literally dragged out into the road and physically pushed under a bus. That's the sort of thing that removes you from my social circle, forever, with malice a' forethought. It gets me to deliberately refuse to eat all day, invite you out to hang, and then intentionally trigger my hunger reflex to leap on you and eat your eyes.
In public.
That's intolerable.
I don't even care if people judge me; I make my own choices, they are entitled to their own reactions – but it's no one's business but the two as to the content of that judgment, unless it is regarding the freedom and sanctity of someone else.
At which point it's an entirely different question.
But I have the reputation of being a calm and collected sociopath, so your mileage may very.
I love you - stop being awesome for a minute. Stop it.
❤️ Great words of wisdom thank you.
Pfeh. You keep saying things like that and someone might slip up and believe you, and then where would the world be? The scope of human emotional flexibility is unable to encompass that degree of sheer horror -- though I do have big brown eyes and big chubby cheeks, and if you're into that sort of thing, so be it.
I never impart wisdom, just neatly encapsulated evil which is primed and ready to root deep inside you, spreading insidious roots, and filling you to the brim with transcendent joy in life and insatiable lusts.
And guide you aright in life, but that's the nature of talented evil. Success at any cost.
Now just to define success ...