This is the first opening line. It aims to capture your attention. It is kept short because of your lazy nature. You need to get the gist quickly in order to decide whether to upvote or not. In combination with the last paragraph, it will enable you to make a relevant comment that will sound legit. Hopefully that will earn you some upvotes as well.
The second paragraph is mostly boring stuff. By now you should begin to lose interest. The more you read, the more words start scrambling inside your head. As far as you don't see any major grammar mistakes and the flow is easy, you will continue skimming in order to get the general idea. Otherwise, abandon all hope and on to the next post.
At this point I would have to introduce a picture since your will be getting extremely bored. The image should primarily get you relaxed. Preferably, I will chose something funny or catchy in order to still get the upvotes in case you don't read anything. 2 minutes in google pictures with some keywords should get me the content needed for this part.
catchy, smart description with a useless link from the source in order for me to appeal legit
From this point on the next block of text will appear like a mountain to you. I mean, if you have made it so far, really, congratulations. Very few do. You are either someone who does read through the entire thing or the rest of the content you stumbled upon must suck balls. You also might be a stalker. You are either envious of my posts, rewards or ideas and would like to see where you stand in comparison and what you can steal in order to make your own posts appear better. Heck, you don't even realize that you might be doing it because it has become second nature to you.
If you ever reached this paragraph then your mind is already pondering away, probably inside your own thoughts. Your memories start connecting irrelevant dots from this post into abstract situations that have nothing to do with the content. By now you have internalised the message, created your own narrative and you are ready to embark into your own personal intellectual pilgrimage that will possibly unleash a shitstorm for anyone daring to read your comment.
The last paragraph is the most important one. It should capture the entire post's sentiment, especially for those who are too lazy to read through. It should supply all the relevant information but kept brief in order to deliver a powerful closing message. Most upvotes happen due to the existence of these last few lines. Your reputation and rewards are depended on it...5, 4, 3, 2, 1