This Is A Post For You

in #steemit2 years ago (edited)

This is the first opening line. It aims to capture your attention. It is kept short because of your lazy nature. You need to get the gist quickly in order to decide whether to upvote or not. In combination with the last paragraph, it will enable you to make a relevant comment that will sound legit. Hopefully that will earn you some upvotes as well.

The second paragraph is mostly boring stuff. By now you should begin to lose interest. The more you read, the more words start scrambling inside your head. As far as you don't see any major grammar mistakes and the flow is easy, you will continue skimming in order to get the general idea. Otherwise, abandon all hope and on to the next post.

At this point I would have to introduce a picture since your will be getting extremely bored. The image should primarily get you relaxed. Preferably, I will chose something funny or catchy in order to still get the upvotes in case you don't read anything. 2 minutes in google pictures with some keywords should get me the content needed for this part.



catchy, smart description with a useless link from the source in order for me to appeal legit


From this point on the next block of text will appear like a mountain to you. I mean, if you have made it so far, really, congratulations. Very few do. You are either someone who does read through the entire thing or the rest of the content you stumbled upon must suck balls. You also might be a stalker. You are either envious of my posts, rewards or ideas and would like to see where you stand in comparison and what you can steal in order to make your own posts appear better. Heck, you don't even realize that you might be doing it because it has become second nature to you.

If you ever reached this paragraph then your mind is already pondering away, probably inside your own thoughts. Your memories start connecting irrelevant dots from this post into abstract situations that have nothing to do with the content. By now you have internalised the message, created your own narrative and you are ready to embark into your own personal intellectual pilgrimage that will possibly unleash a shitstorm for anyone daring to read your comment.

The last paragraph is the most important one. It should capture the entire post's sentiment, especially for those who are too lazy to read through. It should supply all the relevant information but kept brief in order to deliver a powerful closing message. Most upvotes happen due to the existence of these last few lines. Your reputation and rewards are depended on it...5, 4, 3, 2, 1













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cynical...much?
attention span of a gnat you say?

tehe

Wow! Thanks @everittdmickey for sharing the video. So much relevant to the post. Really glad I hit the play button. I am going to forward this video to few of my friends and I guess people reading this post should hit the play button as well.

Oooh something from the CBC. You're making me homesick!
Funny stuff @everittdmickey!

The Master has spoken. At least I'm pretty sure because, as a maximizer of my individual (egoistic) benefit (even if at the detriment of the whole) I only made a cost/benefit analysis based on the photo image and the last paragraph. Upvote me P-L-E-A-S-E (because when I rule the world it will, by definition (mine) be a much better place!).

p.s. This comment WILL be voted up by some of my VERY subservient hangers on :-)

isn't honesty much more fun? :D

I have found that honesty (plus a euro or two) will get me a a cup of coffee. Honesty alone has gotten me free lodging (in a jail cell LOL).

lol... This is an EPIC response!

Talk about how to win friends and influence people (then again I just followed you so work that out).

Mr. President I agree that Mr. Prime-minister has done a very good job! May I suggest the cabinet discusses on the length of each paragraph and maybe the most appropriate tints of colours for pictures? :P

It almost hurts to read it, but I upvoted it as I am sure it will go viral :)

that is how I felt.

Hahahaha. How do u do this 😂😂. Being sarcastic, funny, cruel and evil all together 😂. By the way, to be true i just read your posts because you write about the same genre as mine ! That is philosophy and deep stuff. But yes, only if i find the title interesting i read it on. We all gotta learn of course from our seniors. Consider me a student. I read your 2nd paragraph, even if its boring, 3rd even if you dont put any picture, 4th as well even if it seems like a mountain !!

Some vocabulary of yours is hard to get coz i am bad with vocabs. But anyway, i read it till the end, if i begun.

Keep it up ✌🏻😉

you pushed too many 'buttons' in one post....

I never wondered what those viewers of my post could be thinking at the moment, now that I see!

"your mind is already pondering away, probably inside your own thoughts" really got me as it happens to me not only when reading but while talking as well until I remember "holy cow I didn't understand a single sentence".

True that my second nature has now been awakened profoundly!

Great photography dear friend 8-P.

I am not sure whether I feel insulted or amused. In any case the worst crime is to be boring and you are not that @kyriacos Keep writing posts that make us question.

Listen, you're just a genius, you have the ability to read minds?
It's amazing, you really write your thoughts and in a very pleasant read it, you make me smile during the reading of the post.
@kyriacos Thank you very much for that

There's two of us.

You have depicted a real psycho-analysis. The content is very near to human nature. You have made quite clearly what most of humans think while reading any blog.

Its a fascinating read for me. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Thank you.

Hahahaha really amazing photo and great content i loved it and not boring at all keep it up you got my vote

Really amazing photography i like it.

A very nice post. Now I know why my posts are not that attractive. And yes I do jump to the last paragraph when I start losing interest in the post.

Yes this is a post for me. This is an amazing scene I am overwhelmed !

It's like a content on how to create an amazing content! Well i learnt quite a lot from it, let's see.

And then the comments come.

Where we either find fault in your original piece, or praise you on on your unique insight.

Possibly followed by the plea to follow and upvote me in exchange for doing so for you.

😉🙏🏽☯️

Luvly post! I upvoted it!

and now the commenting part is next. Get ready for ''good post'' ''follow me follow you'' ''interesting post'' '' wow so deep'' while half of those that upvote it ( and i am kind with half) didn't even read it

at least we are healthy :P

This one made my day and it‘s so true^^

True but is it good that is is true? It made me smile in any event.

No it's not good but you can't change people you can just appeal on them.

Tulisan yang kreatif, saya menantikan yang selanjutnya
Dapatkah anda mengunjugi blog saya

Hahahahha ! What a great post ! Exciting and punchy , boring to the bone , mindblowing , huge !
Made me not want to follow you ;)

I guess my attention span is even schortte than the average dog’s. When the last paragraph was mentioned in the first, I skipped to it 🙈

This is entitled to a full upvote for sheer nonsensical "ventertainment" ;)

is it an instruction to become as successful as you? )))
I will not vote! my voice will not affect you)))

I red it but will not upvote

If we could earn more with curation the quality of posts would improve. I would spend more time on curation. Don't need to fool ourselves. Money is always in the first place. But why I telling you this. You know that already.

I sincerely appreciate your story. Your writting capacity and capability is demonstrated here. Keep it up. I follow and upvote you.

Haha I just had to click reading that first line when I was browsing around. Reminds me of a ted talk when some guy did a similar thing "At this moment, I will RAISE my voice to show importance of this graph symbolizing something VEERY important that you barely understand" haha you love it.

+1 for the compelling writing, I enjoyed it :)

Otherwise, if you're into travelling, vlogs, fitness, self-development etc feel free to check out my channel, in any case keep up the good work and I'll see you around! :)

Brilliant. Just brilliant. Reflexive, like two mirrors in front of one another.
Through its sheer emptyness, it does to me precisely what you predict it will do: connecting irrelevant dots into abstract situations that (possibly) have nothing to do with the post. And I did create my own narrative - namely, I have linked this post to a paper I read: "Seeing Green:
Mere Exposure to Money ellicits a Business Decision Framework and Unethical Outcomes"

I like that you didn't put any gifs in your post. Those always distract from the mountainous blocks of text.

Stopped reading at

This is the first opening line. It aims to capture your attention. It is kept short because of your lazy nature.

But good post! Upvoted! Thanks for sharing.

I would call it a meta-post, a template filled with guidelines...

amazing tutorial, my hat's off to you dear troll master

This is the type of brilliant post that deserves a three word comment like “I love this!” Or “great work, liked” but no upvote.

This is actually quite funny. Thanks!

You really grabbed my attention. I was following through until i found myself at the end of the post. The post is actually for a lazy man like "ME".

I was loosing interest here but I actually wanted to see the mountain, lolz. "From this point on the next block of text will appear like a mountain to you. I mean, if you have made it so far, really, congratulations."

This is a generic comment. It may or may not summarize the key points of the article and extend on some ideas that may have interested the reader. Regardless of the effort level there is always some degree of pandering in hopes to receive an upvote from the author of the post. Reading prior to commenting is optional.

😆

I read all the paragraf until the end and i come back again read the first one, try to get what you want to explain, because my english is so bad.
And i still dont really get what you mean.. or maybe i do little but i cant explain what is it. 😅

Well played my friend, well played!

This post is really for me, and you did a lot in just one post, I had to go through the post again, this is a good wag to start a day for me.

well... the more I was reading your post, the more I wanted to comment as "good post my friend, upvote for upvote folllow for follow?" :D

😂 I love this post. Want to steal some ideas from it but never mind, I'll just resteem. Very creative and funny. You probably are very good at reading minds.

lol. funny but if you pay attention more there is truth inside this post. :)

You're so right friend. Most people don't have the patience of reading through posts.