This Is A Post For You

in #steemit7 years ago (edited)

This is the first opening line. It aims to capture your attention. It is kept short because of your lazy nature. You need to get the gist quickly in order to decide whether to upvote or not. In combination with the last paragraph, it will enable you to make a relevant comment that will sound legit. Hopefully that will earn you some upvotes as well.

The second paragraph is mostly boring stuff. By now you should begin to lose interest. The more you read, the more words start scrambling inside your head. As far as you don't see any major grammar mistakes and the flow is easy, you will continue skimming in order to get the general idea. Otherwise, abandon all hope and on to the next post.

At this point I would have to introduce a picture since your will be getting extremely bored. The image should primarily get you relaxed. Preferably, I will chose something funny or catchy in order to still get the upvotes in case you don't read anything. 2 minutes in google pictures with some keywords should get me the content needed for this part.



catchy, smart description with a useless link from the source in order for me to appeal legit


From this point on the next block of text will appear like a mountain to you. I mean, if you have made it so far, really, congratulations. Very few do. You are either someone who does read through the entire thing or the rest of the content you stumbled upon must suck balls. You also might be a stalker. You are either envious of my posts, rewards or ideas and would like to see where you stand in comparison and what you can steal in order to make your own posts appear better. Heck, you don't even realize that you might be doing it because it has become second nature to you.

If you ever reached this paragraph then your mind is already pondering away, probably inside your own thoughts. Your memories start connecting irrelevant dots from this post into abstract situations that have nothing to do with the content. By now you have internalised the message, created your own narrative and you are ready to embark into your own personal intellectual pilgrimage that will possibly unleash a shitstorm for anyone daring to read your comment.

The last paragraph is the most important one. It should capture the entire post's sentiment, especially for those who are too lazy to read through. It should supply all the relevant information but kept brief in order to deliver a powerful closing message. Most upvotes happen due to the existence of these last few lines. Your reputation and rewards are depended on it...5, 4, 3, 2, 1













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cynical...much?
attention span of a gnat you say?

tehe

Wow! Thanks @everittdmickey for sharing the video. So much relevant to the post. Really glad I hit the play button. I am going to forward this video to few of my friends and I guess people reading this post should hit the play button as well.

Oooh something from the CBC. You're making me homesick!
Funny stuff @everittdmickey!

The Master has spoken. At least I'm pretty sure because, as a maximizer of my individual (egoistic) benefit (even if at the detriment of the whole) I only made a cost/benefit analysis based on the photo image and the last paragraph. Upvote me P-L-E-A-S-E (because when I rule the world it will, by definition (mine) be a much better place!).

p.s. This comment WILL be voted up by some of my VERY subservient hangers on :-)

isn't honesty much more fun? :D

I have found that honesty (plus a euro or two) will get me a a cup of coffee. Honesty alone has gotten me free lodging (in a jail cell LOL).

lol... This is an EPIC response!

Talk about how to win friends and influence people (then again I just followed you so work that out).

Mr. President I agree that Mr. Prime-minister has done a very good job! May I suggest the cabinet discusses on the length of each paragraph and maybe the most appropriate tints of colours for pictures? :P

It almost hurts to read it, but I upvoted it as I am sure it will go viral :)

that is how I felt.

Hahahaha. How do u do this 😂😂. Being sarcastic, funny, cruel and evil all together 😂. By the way, to be true i just read your posts because you write about the same genre as mine ! That is philosophy and deep stuff. But yes, only if i find the title interesting i read it on. We all gotta learn of course from our seniors. Consider me a student. I read your 2nd paragraph, even if its boring, 3rd even if you dont put any picture, 4th as well even if it seems like a mountain !!

Some vocabulary of yours is hard to get coz i am bad with vocabs. But anyway, i read it till the end, if i begun.

Keep it up ✌🏻😉

you pushed too many 'buttons' in one post....

I never wondered what those viewers of my post could be thinking at the moment, now that I see!

"your mind is already pondering away, probably inside your own thoughts" really got me as it happens to me not only when reading but while talking as well until I remember "holy cow I didn't understand a single sentence".

True that my second nature has now been awakened profoundly!

Great photography dear friend 8-P.

I am not sure whether I feel insulted or amused. In any case the worst crime is to be boring and you are not that @kyriacos Keep writing posts that make us question.

Listen, you're just a genius, you have the ability to read minds?
It's amazing, you really write your thoughts and in a very pleasant read it, you make me smile during the reading of the post.
@kyriacos Thank you very much for that

There's two of us.

You have depicted a real psycho-analysis. The content is very near to human nature. You have made quite clearly what most of humans think while reading any blog.

Its a fascinating read for me. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Thank you.

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