WOW! THANK YOU for 100 followers, AND I HAVE CREAMED MY PANTS!

I creamed my pants a little when I first posted my shitty introduction here and you guys didn't say anything — anything — anything — anything substantial. It almost felt like I was talking to a bunch of powerless nice robots. Felt good for a change.

Then I creamed my pants a little more when I knew real people do exist here and are enjoying my kind of humor. In fact, it was time this broken family had a smart daddy.

I, your daddy, then creamed my pants a little more when I saw 100+ followers. Achieved in less than 5 days biiitches! More on my secret super ninja tactics later. For now, I am going to show this achievement to my wife...

Who is busy drawing pokemon at my best friend's home since last night. I don't know why duuude. Anyways...

I then creamed my pants a little more when all the top steemers participated in my survey for blah blah blah blah blah.

I creamed further as I saw EVERY post has comments.

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I creamed watching Trump talk!

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I creamed MOAR!

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AND MOAR!

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ALL BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS. SO THANK YOU EVERYONE!

Sincerely, I appreciate your upvotes, comments, and few resteems. More than that, I am glad some of you are laughing and looking forward to read my post. YES, not EVERYTHING is funny and hilarious and creamworthy... but I am trying. Some dudes may also find my jokes offensive and for them... I only have 9 words:

CALM YOUR TITS DOWN DUDE... CHILL A LITTLE SISTA-WILL-YA?!

SEE YOU SOON!

AND WITH ALL THESE MAYO CREAM ON THE FLOOR, TONIGHT'S A PIZZA DAY BABY!