I enjoyed the high rewards just as anyone else here

I didn't enjoy them much, to be honest, in the sense that all I did was reinvest into post promotion to get some SP. I didn't cash out because I was reading some witnesses who didn't support the peg and I thought that they were somehow a majority.

I thought that it would all just increase, maybe stay at 3.5 for a while. But now SBD goes down, Steem goes down and the blockchain gets a steady increase of new users and I'm here feeling selfish while I desperately try to cling to the remnants of my previous earnings.

"as long as I'm getting paid, it must be ok, right?"

Want the truth or the customary "yeah I care" kind of response? I'm not a saint; I'm very far from that. I want Steem to succeed in the long run, but what I really want right now is to escape Venezuela. I can't do that if I don't have enough savings to survive for at least a couple of weeks in whatever country I decide to go to.

Our currency here has like 2800% yearly inflation, so one SBD is a monthly minimum salary, or was before, anyway. I can survive here, among the crime waves, the scarcity and the lack of everything. I'm built for chaos. But I don't want this to become my life.

I'm still very interested in Steem's long-term success regardless of whether I get paid or not, but if I don't get paid I can't be here. I would cheer from the distance and probably feel a bit sad that I couldn't ride the train into paradise, but if in a few months' time I'm not getting enough to survive, no amount of interest will give me the ability to stay.

But if I do stay, I will make sure to try to be good and promote everything and try to make everything grow and be better. It's within my ambitions. Just one step below in priority to my own well-being.