When I finally committed to attending SteemFest in Krakow, I truly had no idea what to expect. I had seen the videos of the past one and thought that it looked fun. Fun. That is a severe understatement. It ended up being eye opening, inspiring, and almost felt like a rebirthing for me here. Thank you to each and every one of you for making me feel welcomed and part of the pack.

I am going to try my best to only do a few posts about SteemFest now that I’m back. I’m trying to figure out how not to make it boring as I have a ridiculous amount of pics and stories that I want to share with you all. For this one, I’ll just focus on the task at hand which is participating in another initiative from the master himself, @anomadsoul. Below is the criteria he’s looking for so I’m going to abide by his requests.

FUNNIEST PHOTO I TOOK

• Justine’s Feet

I think this one is kinda a weird one and puts me in the category of creepy dude with a foot fetish which is the furthest thing from the truth. I actually hate feet and I long for the days when we can roll around on a wheel like Rosie from the Jetsons. Ah...I can see the new Pornhub fetish category forming already...

While bowling, I was teasing @llfarms for several things, with one being her choice of kicks she decided to rock that evening. A truly comfy looking pair of doodoo brown Moccasins. So after some good natured ribbing in which she was a total sport about, I said I had to get a pic with em to which she obliged. She stood still and most definitely secretly wanted to kick me in my throat but she refrained because she’s...well...simply the best. Later we were chatting with @abh12345 and I showed him the photo much to his delight. I hope you all enjoy as much as we did. Thank you for being a good sport my dear.

MY MOST EMBARASSING SITUATION

• I Fail Geography

I spent a good chunk of time with @eveuncovered and @escapist and we all had great discussions about a plethora of topics. I believe it was on one of the bus rides, I was sitting next to Eve and she mentioned something about Helsinki in which I blurted out so convincingly, “Yeah, the capital of Romania” to which she just looked at me with such disdain and embarrassment. I don’t remember exactly what she said to let me know just how incorrect I was but it felt as though it was something along the lines of “No you incredibly dumb fuck!”. I was so sure what I said was right in the second I said it, I would have bet the farm on it. Christ...My face actually got hot as I felt mega ultra stupid. I would not have blamed her one bit if she spit in my face and told everyone on the bus of my severe retardation. I knew she was from Finland and I quickly realized my mistake. After she let me have it, We laughed about it and I basically summed it up to Americans being stupid...even though most Americans probably would not have botched that up. What an absolute dunce.

MY COOLEST MOST INTERESTING STORY

• I Found My Long Lost Retarded Twin Sister

The bus ride back from Auschwitz should have been a somber ride and I think it was for most. I was lucky enough to chill with @celestial (whom I already knew fairly well thus far...thanks to our love of dried fruits), @vikonomics, and @nomadicsoul which I’m super thankful for. Seeing Auschwitz was an increadibly mentally draining experience, so I welcomed the lighthearted banter on the way back. The range of topics we discussed were fantastic and what got me to switch seats to be a part of it was some insane shit that @nomadicsoul blurred out but I’m going to save all of that for its own post as I feel it’s deserving. That hour plus on the bus was one of my favorite moments of SteemFest. Not only did we all come up with idea for a fun joint contest with prizes that will leave you in wonder...but I gained a new friend in @vikonomics , and I found someone even weirder that I am in @nomadicsoul which I did not think was possible. It’s like we were made in the same shitty testtube at a totally dirty foreign underground government lab that breaks a lot of the rules and specializes in “Making Babies For Poor People” as their slogun reads. Well, we found each other and are going to collaborate on a whole mess of weird shit here which makes us both super pumped and should make you all cringe and fearful for the fate of humanity.

Oh...and for our dyslexic friends...thanks @jayna for the scarf banner!!! You are awesome!!!!

You were warned...

PHOTO WITH THE MOST STEEMIANS IN IT

• Shafted

This is one that will be short and sweet. I mostly took selfies with either a person or a small group so this will not be impressive in any way, shape, or form. Yet, it was fun. On the ride back up the shaft from dinner at the Salt Mines, 7 of us crammed into that shoddy closet sized elevator and the 14 year old girl in me just had to snag a selfie. Glad I did though. Anyone else think to grab one here??

MY NEW FAVORITE STEEMIANS

• Mission Impossible 300

This one is completely impossible for me to come up with. No way can I limit this to just 3 as I have like 300 “favorites”, but I am just going to pick 1 for the sake of finishing this piece sometime today so I can go eat something. Belly is grumbling and @blewitt wants some sammich.

Let me preface this by saying I will be doing another piece later that shares stories about a bunch of individuals whom I hold in just as high a standard as this bastard I’m going to mention here.

Today, for the sake of me not dying of hunger as this is the last bit I have to finish... @guyfawkes4-20 wins the lottery of being mentioned here. My brother from another mother made me feel super welcomed immediately. We shared tons of laughs, beers, meals, and great talks. This fine fella talked me up to pretty much anyone who was willing to listen. Steemians, the waiters...it didn’t matter. “Hey, this is @blewitt. Know the guy who put your comic in your bag? This is him!” lol

It was a riot watching him shill for me for no reason whatsoever than he wanted to. He introduced me to many amazing people and I’m super appreciative of everything, including the 358 hugs we gave each other before I finally departed to head to the airport at 3:30 am Monday morning.

The rest of you were basically dogshit so step up your game folks...

MY OVERALL EXPERIENCE ABOUT THE EVENT

• Think...The Olive Garden

Now you may be wondering what the hell a crappy Italian Chain restaurant has to do with my Steemfest experience. Let me start off by saying that I LOOOOOOOVE Olive Garden Breadsticks. The white trash American in me cannot get enough of them. If you ever find yourself with me at an Olive Garden, first off I’m really sorry that it came to that and second, I will embarrass you with how many logs of deliciousness I will house down my gullet. The main reason is their shitty slogun.

When you’re here...you’re family. Read it again and think about it. For me, I felt totally at home and comfortable with you all. I would have thrown down for you, gone to bat for you, and comforted you if needed. I felt that you would have done the same for me because it felt like a family was just getting together.

I had never met any of you in person before and most of you I had only had slight dealings or interactions with, but we found ourselves letting our guard down a bit. Letting each other see a vulnerable side to us and sharing something special. I knew you guys for an hour the first night, and was invited to dinner where we swapped stories, laughed, learned, and even shared meals. Hell, my leftover burger got devoured by several after I couldn’t shove another bite in my mouth. 😜

Why?!? Because we are all a family now...at least in my eyes.

MOST RANDOM PHOTOGRAPH THAT IM NOT SURE WHY IT’S THERE

• Curb Your Dog

On Tuesday November 6th at 10:47 am....my world turned upside down as I slid in what seemed to be the freshest, warmest, and steamiest, piece of doggie dook in all of Poland. I was walking around my neighborhood scoping out the scene, when trouble came a knockin. I wish I could say it came outta nowhere but nobody else was around me. It was like a ghost puppy dropped a hot one just for me. I was in the zone, hell, I might have even been whistling. I dunno. It’s all a blur.

All of a sudden I felt my foot slipping on the ground. So slippery. Panic set in. “HeLp!!!” Is all I wanted to scream but I didn’t know the Polish word for it so I just rolled with it. It was like someone took a giant shit and put it in a banana peel then poured KY Jelly ontop and left it in plain daylight for all of Krakow to see. All but me. I tried to remember my training in this but it all happened so quickly. It was too late to save the shoe but I luckily regained my balance. I snapped these to remember the dangers of phantom ghost shits so that you guys do not make the same mistake I made.

It almost went down like this but the sky wizards were looking after me on this fateful day.

That’s about it for this one folks. Thanks for taking a moment to look at this nonsense. Thank you to @roelandp and his minions for putting together a trip that I’ll cherish forever. It cannot be understated just how much this meant to me and I know I’m not alone so...kudos brother. Thank you to @anomadsoul for a million things as well but right now, for encouraging us all to write and exchange stories and to not be lazy after the high of SteemFest wore off.

I have a gazillion pictures with everyone that I’m going to share with some fun insight and stories so if you remember me bothering you for a selfie...it’ll make it up on the next one in the coming days. Love and miss you all tons.

Blewitt

FEEL FREE TO YANK WHATEVER PICS YOU WANT FOLKS!!!