Are you a good person?

Are you a good person? And what does a good person mean? You know, I often ask myself all kinds of questions and explore both myself and the people around me. So after my last contacts with friends, this question arose - what does a good person mean.
And haven't the standards and perceptions about it changed already, as we ourselves have changed as humans.
And what kind of person am I?
I have asked myself this question many times, comparing myself to other people and their actions, their reactions even, their essences.

I could not say that I am like my acquaintance who recently told me: Today I helped a snail on the street because I have to clean my karma. 😃
That is, I don't do things just because I have to or because it will get me something in return.
But I'm also not like those people from warm nations like Spain or Italy who will stop you on the street to ask why you look worried and if they can help with anything, or will do anything just so they can fulfill this, that you asked them for or they will go out of their way to answer your question and if they don't know the answer they will ask someone else themselves etc.
I don't help strangers like that, not least because there has to be someone to do it for, I mean, someone who won't find it abnormal in a country where people don't help each other by default and alienate one of another. At the very least, the last time I offered my help to a strange woman in the supermarket who was having trouble reaching an item, she pretended not to hear or see me lol 🤣

Of course, whether you are a good person is judged by your overall demeanor and attitude, with people you know and don't know. But imagine the following incident, which is quite relative. And tricky, I would say:
You're calling an old friend you haven't heard from in a while. You make them tell you about their life in recent years, you don't miss a thing, you insist on the details. You know what to ask after all, you've been friends for so many years. The person across asks the reciprocal questions in return - what's going on with your life, they want to know the same things you want to know, maybe. But you deflect the questions, you are the interested one, the compassionate one so to speak, or so you want to appear. You keep asking. With understanding, with soothing words. You ask and ask. And the other person tells. Just because he/she's sick of everything anyway, he/she has nothing to lose.

You say you'll help. You'll do everything you can, call a few phone numbers, ask around. You will call again.
After a few hours of talking, you say you'll call back.
But you never actually do.
Weeks go by and all the promises you made, all the comforting words you said just fly away, evaporate. And it is clear that with each passing day, in which you do not reach for the phone and do not call this acquaintance of yours, the probability of calling them decreases more and more.

So, what did you actually do? You are a good person, aren't you? You called an old friend to hear how they were doing, to ask them about their life, something the other person probably never would have done because of certain circumstances in their life. So, you're a good person, right? You are interested in people. You want to know how they live, what are their problems. And when they share them, you want to help, you promise you will.

Right? Isn't that what you do? Or you think you do? Or you expect others to perceive you as such?

However, the person across sits and thinks: what was this person like, why did he call me, why does he question me so much, why did he tell me that he would help without me even asking him for it, and then: why does he not call me back?

And only then, after a few weeks of waiting, does this person understand: he has become a victim, a victim of the good person, the good friend, or the one who thinks he is.
A good person calls out of nowhere, to friends they haven't heard from in a long time, a good person asks interested and purposeful questions, digs deep, looks for problems, brings out traumas. He's compassionate, very kind, very helpful, he takes initiative, he's a good person after all, isn't he?

By forcing others to reveal themselves, he feeds on their problems, and he is comforted by what is told. Well, who wants to listen more than they want to talk? The man who feeds on human words, on human traumas.
That's why I said that this case is very tricky. Is this guy I told you about a good person? He or she certainly considers themselves one. That's what the person who became their victim once considered them to be. But this person is not a good person. And if you ever meet such a guy who is so willing to help (only in words) or you already have one in your environment, think - why does he/she do this and what are their motives in the first place.
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Well, yeah, probably a bit of a messed up story, but replace he with she everywhere and you get the image of the toxic female friend who tries to sweep her problems under the rug by feeding on other people's pain.

Thank you for your time! Copyright:	@soulsdetour
	Soul's Detour is a project started by me years ago when I had a blog about historical and not so popular tourist destinations in Eastern Belgium, West Germany and Luxembourg. Nowadays, this blog no longer exists, but I'm still here - passionate about architecture, art and mysteries and eager to share my discoveries and point of view with you.

Personally, I am a sensitive soul with a strong sense of justice.
Traveling and photography are my greatest passions.
Sounds trivial to you?
No, it's not trivial. Because I still love to travel to not so famous destinations.🗺️
Of course, the current situation does not allow me to do this, but I still find a way to satisfy my hunger for knowledge, new places, beauty and art.
Sometimes you can find the most amazing things even in the backyard of your house.😊🧐🧭|