Satirically Yours S1E10: @aggroed sits down for an interview with @ned and @dan about STEEMIT economics while chained to a basement chair in STEEMIT headquarters

in #steem8 years ago (edited)

We now join Satirically Yours news correspondent live as @aggroed, bloody and beaten, continues his interview with @ned and @dan about STEEMIT economics while chained to a basement chair in STEEMIT headquarters.  We regret some of the interview was not recorded, particularly the abduction phase, but we are pleased to bring you into the interrogation interview room right now-

@aggroed- I don't mean to assume anything, but it seems you guys didn't like my previous posts?

How I made $0.07 in 5 posts and how you can too

Every Time I post something critical of STEEM this is how I feel

An important reminder from STEEMIT your opinion isn't worth shit unless you're already rich

STEEM oligarch am I the only one around here that feels like there is a major 1% to STEEM?

@ned pistol whips @aggroed hard for his insolence and wipes @aggroed's face blood on @aggroed's shirt.  @aggroed spits out a tooth and another wad of blood

@ned- you stupid shit!  Don't you see what we're trying to do here?!?  We're trying to liberate animals like you.  We're trying to make the web a safer place for crypto currencies.  Why can't you and the other idiotic minnows see that?

@ned grabs a hot poker and brands @aggroed's arm with the STEEMIT logo

@aggroed- No, no, please don't... ARRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!! (while sobbing like a child), but the execution of the white paper has led to an income distribution similar to a ponzi scheme.

You've officially made trickle down economics your bitch.  97% of the STEEM rests with 1% of the users.  It's not right!!!!

@ned kicks at @aggroed's chair, but since he's chained in it and the chair is bolted down he doesn't tip over

@aggroed- It's not right.  We fight that in the real world with the Federal Reserve and now we have to fight it here in this supposedly open e-currency.

He could hear their mentor laughing at them from the netherworld.


@ned- You fool!  We have people trying to redistribute the STEEM.  We who have been successful are collectively taking an interest in certain accounts.  We're spreading the wealth, but it's a slow process, and by the Gods of Code, we'll make sure filth like you and other idiot minnows never see any of it.  

@ned narrows into @aggroeds face and says slowly

@ned- your content isn't worth my down vote let alone my STEEM!

@ned starts cackling and for fun knocks out another of @aggroed's teeth and stomps on his foot.

@aggroed-  AGGGGGHHHH! (whimpering) but that's censorship... but that's still controlling who benefits and what content is deemed appropriate.  I just want people to earn for what they put in.  Can you shift STEEM generation to active users regardless of their posts instead of mining for it?  Mining is an inherently undemocratic process because only people that can afford server farms can pay for them.  There was even a recent blog about a miner who stopped mining because he couldn't compete with the mega server farms that started up.  (anyone got the link?)

@aggroed- what if those who create content earn some share of the total steem?  Maybe put some of the STEEM from @null into minnow accounts that are are posting regularly?  Limit it to a few posts a day so people don't spam.  There are ways to reach a more equitable distribution.  THERE HAVE TO BE OTHER WAYS?!?

@dan- No

This was the first time @dan had spoken and both @ned and @aggroed turned to look at him.  @dan was cool and calm.  He started calmly, but as his energy intensified so too did his voice.  It went from deep and thoughtful to high and shrill.  He spoke like a man possessed by taking over the world with crypto-currency and blog posts.

@dan-  that’s not an option.  I will slowly cash out over two years and the whales will personally select the next crop of high value whales that will come after us.  This is our program.  Minnows weren’t in the basement when we created it.  Minnows weren’t there during the dark years.  Minnows didn’t spend years of their life coding or learning to code.  Son, do you have any idea of how many Mountain Dews I’ve had to drink.  It’s like horse piss, but here I sit now.  It was all worth it.  This program, this evolution of code, is ours!!!  And all the STEEM is ours!!! The decision of how to redistribute any of it, if we redistribute any of it is our choice!   

@dan let out a sickening cackle

@dan was shouting now- BESIDES WITH OUR MINING OPERATION THE WAY IT IS IT WON'T MATTER HOW CURATION OCCURS.  THE STEEM WILL FILL OUR WALLETS!!! MUH HA HA AH AH HAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAA

He nodded to @ned who pummeled @aggroed with his fists until @aggroed was nearly unconsious

@aggroed- barely audible- What do we want?  fair STEEM distribution?  Who wants it?  Minnows.  @aggroed tapped his fingers rhythmically on the desk to the chant.

@dan was fully enraged-  WITH THAT I WILL DOWN VOTE YOU INTO OBSCURITY FOREVER

and he flagged this post never to be seen again and thus destroyed the infant reputation of @aggroed forever.

fully defeated.  @aggroed passed out.

@ned and @dan had their wicked code monekies drag @aggroed out of the building and left him by the side of a hospital @aggroed can't currently afford because of increases to Obamacare premiums, stagnant wages, and the inability to completely live off STEEM.  


Curious onlookers having no idea what STEEM was or how it worked simply walked past him never even learning about the crypto currency oligarchy (STEEMOCRACY) he was trying to protect them from.  Other Steemsters that did know about the situation simply walked past and issued only a snide remark.


Sort:  

9Sensational satire!

Most don't have the patience that you clearly display. It's not easy making money around here unless you are already famous. Never give up! And always power up!

thats true ,,, it all about patience in all that we do , there are those who try 99 times and succeed on the hundred time

Telling people to be patient is a bad buisness plan, imagine if facebook had told their users that they have to wait 1 or 2 months before they can get access to the site's functionality, they wouldn't be where they are today.

I got a good laugh out of this. Thank you. I'm going to have to read your article "How I made $0.07 in 5 posts and how you can too". I laughed out loud at that moment. Exceptionally funny title for an article and I hope that it will be as funny, and as informative as this one was for me. +1 follow

LOL, wickedly delightful! More! More! MORE!

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