Dead before they even wonder

After a long time of writing, I got to participate in the #stach-dsw and I won. Amazing right, yeah.... It feels that way. The theme for the poetry contest was pretentious....alone inside, and here was my entry;

![poetry-album-3433279_1280.jpg](

Every day I wake, it's back to the life I hate;
Living like there's no illness or maybe I've accepted fate;
I hold my breath beneath the covers of the sheet;
telling myself there's nothing to fear;

But I'm just a pile of flesh and bone;
trying to run down my time, without hurting another soul;
shifting through realities, now I can no longer tell which one's which;
what will be said of me, when I stop to exist;

My head hurts so much, and I've not even left my bed;
my world is falling, life's become meaningless and that's not even the end;
my heart's so sore, I can feel it breaking;
I swear to God it leaves me shaking;

But I have to wipe away all the tears before they come near;
must hide this feeling, from those I call family and friends;
I want them to remember me as been happy and always smiling;
even though deep down, my soul is dying;

I can hear myself scream;
but my voice just won't give, at least not for the time being;
I can never tell them how I feel, cause the happiness I wear, to them it's real;
for them to hear that I wish I was dead, it would break them, if not kill them;

So I try my best not to be selfish;
I'll keep my secret hidden and just let them rest;
but God I can't take it much longer;
I'll probably be dead before they even wonder.

Thanks for reading, do join us next Tuesday for another exciting night of great poetry, you won't be disappointed, @winarobert will do more than make you enjoy your evening either as a contestant or as a listener.
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