Spotlight Writing Contest #1: Can you forgive?

Forgiveness is a tough and messy topic. It can be easy, it can be difficult, some would even say that it can almost be impossible. Whatever stand you have in forgiveness, there is one thing you cannot deny about it. You need it, and you need to give it as well.

I thought of writing up things that I have learned over the course of time that I have been here in this planet. First thing is I would like to tell the would-be readers of this article, that this article will contain a LOT of reference to the bible or the Holy Scripture. Why? Because I am a Christian and the central message of the Bible is basically pointing us to Jesus and Jesus came to save the lost. Basically if there is anyone who steeped foot on this earth who can do the talk and the walk about forgiveness it’s Jesus. Now that this is established let’s get to what this article is all about. Can I forgive?

I would like to point out that these steps, reasons and tips are based on my personal experience on forgiveness and can also follow any order. This also means and establishes that forgiveness is not a chore we must follow. It is an out flow of who we are and to where we ought to be in our relationships with people. SO yeah, lots of context there. Let’s begin!

Tip # 1

Do not repay evil for evil! – I’m sure you heard this one before. This is the famous saying wherein pastors, priests, life coaches, gurus and even your parents have been telling you for some time in your childhood. Now it might be different for some people, but I am certain that at one point someone encouraged you to not take revenge. Someone told you to back off from going ahead with your emotions of getting pay back and making sure that person either suffers or says sorry to you. Sometime the goal of this is justification but sometimes and often dangerous is simply wanting to get back and doing something worse. This is the first tip on forgiveness because human nature will dictate that for every action done to you there must be a reaction.

This is how we respond to threats or people who do something to us. When we get punched, we punch back! Slapped? Slap them back! We are living in a world that tells us not let anyone get ahead or the best of us. There is some wisdom in that but if all that will happen is a blood war between people then let me tell you right now. You are headed for a place with almost no return. Well that is if you decide to forgive and choose to keep a cool and calm head. There is a famous saying here in the Philippines. Pag binato ka ng bato, batuhin mo ng tinapay! (If someone throws a rock at you, throw that person bread!) unlikely that this will happen. But what if it did? What do you think will happen? Well let’s not wait for someone to throw a rock at you! Bless your oppressors and you will see a world of difference in the outcome!

Tip # 2

Live In Peace – WOW! First advice was basically denying something that is very natural for you! Getting back at someone! It’s not easy! No one ever said it was. Now after that thought and life provoking tip, I give a tip on choosing to live in peace? Why not? You already made a really tough decision of putting aside your personal war between yourself and some who really did you wrong, that feat of not getting back took a lot of effort! Why not go the extra mile and fulfill something awesomely meaningful for yourself! Live in peace! Peace is a choice, not just a 20 minute choice but a lifestyle everyday 24/7 kind of choice. Living in peace means that while an offense was done, you goal is not to let the wrong thing done to you pass by. That is called evil. Living in peace is coming into terms with what happened to you and accepting it. It means accepting that, YES something was done to me. But I choose not to repay it with evil! I choose peace, I choose the positive way of life, I choose progress, I choose to be better than who I was before, better than the people who hurt me, and a better example for anyone who is looking at me now! Peace is not pacifism, it is progress, it could and might even be the energy and focus produced by rage and anger used to a very productive and positive way. Over all a win-win for everyone!

Tip # 3

Do not take revenge! – Now wait a minute, wasn’t this already discussed earlier? Technically yes! But let’s talk about it in a different perspective. The main point of TIP # 1 is not that you don’t do anything. The point of it was that even though you were wronged, you don’t go out and do your best to try and do something bad about it! Again, the goal in you forgiving is not just so that two good friends become the best of pals once again. You also aim to be a better person. Now that TIP #1 is justified, what is TIP # 3? Tip #3 is that life is fair. You might not have felt in the tips I have given so far, but let me remind you. You cannot do a wrong thing without a wrong result following right after. The law dictates, for every action there is a reaction. For all the evil done, there will eventually be a reckoning of what happened. However, TIP #3 is all about you not being the bringer of revenge. Again, along with TIP #1 Do not be the person who carries it out. I also hope that you will take this tip and say, “Okay I won’t take arms and do the vengeance but something really bad better happen to that guy!. Again, wrong attitude. Therefore, this tip was given after Tips number 1 and 2. The goal is to better oneself and not the execution of a self-centered self-righteous justice.
One thing about this, please do not believe or read this by mistake. I am not saying that a justice system should be ignored. I am not saying that let a person murder another person and we will just bat an eye towards it because some guy on STEEMIT decided to be all forgiving. The goal of this post is keen on the betterment of one’s self. Be the better person! Live the better life! Live free and clear!

Tip # 4

Choose to forgive! – You might have already realized it. No one is going to do the forgiveness for you! It’s not something you can ask someone to do for you! It’s not something you can post on the internet for someone to do it for you! It has to come from you and you alone. It means that there will always be a threat of someone doing it again, and it can even come from the exact same person! This is why forgiveness is never a feeling and that when we forgive it should always be one made on a solid decision to forgive. Why? Much love is a decision. Can you imagine a world where love is just a fleeting mixture of feeling, emotional feelings and hype? It kinda is already and it is the world we live in today! Now convert love to forgiveness and you have every reason for people becoming softcore modern day hitlers. That’s a tough pill to swallow but guess what it is what it is until someone decides to stop it. Until someone says enough is enough I will make a stand and I will choose forgiveness over my pride, my justification, my revenge and myself! Accompanied by the decision for forgive is the decision to forget! Many of us treat forgiveness as an IOU card. You can always pull on one to force someone to do a favor for you because you remind them that ”Hey! You did this before and you can definitely pay me back”, or “You already did this before, you will never change!”. It is this kind of attitude that we want to eradicate! If any of us wants to become a better person at forgiving, then we must choose to forgive and choose to forget! I guarantee you, you will be happier all the days of your life! I am not talking out of theory but really talking out of experience and out of observing other people as well!

Tip # 5

Forgiveness is a duty and not an option – This tip now takes our simple but hard decision and act of forgiveness into a whole new level! It now not only affects you but an entire generation is blessed as well! Please note that when you are doing something, someone is always looking at you, if you thought of forgiveness as an option and not as a duty, you are basically telling people who are watching, like your kids or your enemy, that it is okay to be conditional at times, it’s okay to be segmented in your decisions and life choices, it’s okay to be in the gray area, the fence and basically morally undecided! You might think well that’s okay! NOT! Again, what if the person looking was your kid! DO you seriously think that one day it’s all going to be fine to wake up with your son or daughter not wanting to talk to you anymore? Why? You ask your kid why? Why can’t you forgive me? At a moment when you are even on your dying breathe on your bed. Then your kid will answer, if you couldn’t or didn’t do it before, why should I? I don’t know about but I would want to avoid a future like that. Not a life goal and never will be! Now think about the opposite of it and I don’t even have to write too much about it. A heartfelt apology and you can already say “I forgive you”.

Tip # 6

Ask for forgiveness – Ever heard of the word empathy? Well if you haven’t you might have it confused with sympathy. Please note that they are different. Here is how. Sympathy is juts feeling bad for someone. You are just looking them and probably in your mind you are saying, “I’m glad I’m not that person.”. Empathy is feeling with that person. Empathy will say that if your burden is heavy I want to carry it with you! I want to know what it is like and ultimately, I want to help you out with it! How do these two now go with forgiveness. Well because you understand what it means to be forgiven or how hard it is to ask for forgiveness, I hope that you will apply the first five tips from above and become a better and not a bitter person. I hope that as you are forgiven by the person you did wrong to, you will be gracious to other people who have also wronged you! Let us stop the chain if destruction that unforgiveness is causing and be agents of change and renewal for everyone to feel, see and experience!

I know that was a lot to read and think about so let me summarize my point for all of you.

TIPS # 1-3: Romans 12:17-21

Do not repay evil for evil! – Win them! Defeat your enemy and you will have done what is easy, turn them into your friends and you will have done the impossible!

Live in peace – peace is a choice! The best one you can make!

Do not take revenge! – Our God is our mighty vindicator! He is loving but He is also just!

TIP # 4: Hebrew 10:17

Choose to forgive, choose to forget – Do not dwell on the offense and even on the memory of it! Let it go and be free!

TIP # 5: Mark 11:25-26

Forgiveness is a duty, not an option – choose to change your life, and choose to change the world!

TIP # 6: 1 John 1:9

Ask for forgiveness – know that if you ask God for it, it will be given.

My prayer and hope is that if you are reading this, your life will be blessed and you will no longer carry the burdens you have been carrying for years. It’s time to be FREE! It’s time to be better and throw the bitterness away! God bless!

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