LiTTLE CHERiNE Book 02 - post153

“You say you feel pain if children are hurt.” I nodded in agreement. “Why then you did not stop those bad men. They are hurting the other children now that I am gone.”

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1086

I could not answer. What justification could I give? Not only one that she could understand, but one that would satisfy me too. To say the world is full of bad men, that I cannot stop them all, was not reason enough. Here was a specific case where I could help. What of the children then? Did I let them starve? Wouldn’t others take their place? I had battled with these thoughts before and had done nothing, perhaps my excuse being that I had to watch out for my family first, for all the Cherinians.

“I do not know how to answer you.”

I walked off to be by myself and struggled with my own thoughts. I returned to her. “If I go to stop them will you help me? I do not know who they are, what they look like, where they live.”

“What will you do?”

“I do not know Ulya. Do you really know what you are asking of me, of what it will do to me? You want me to hurt them or kill them. Just remember, I will feel whatever they feel.”

She did not answer, but it was evident my answer sounded like a copout to her. (*For non-English readers, copout = A failure to face some difficulty squarely - face on)

“You will have to give me your hand and then think of where they are. Ulya, when we get there, they will not be able to see us, our bodies are still back at home. Soon as you take me there, you must leave. I do not want you to see what I do.”

She gave me her hand and pictured in her mind the rooms they used to take her to. We jumped there. I saw what was going on and sharply ordered her to leave.

My protector hardly needed a command. The adult bodies were smashed against the walls until they were nothing more than a bloody pulp. I followed them into the void and attacked them there. I ordered the Sparklers not to save them as I savagely tore at their souls. The protector came and I became the void and I tore at their souls, sending the pieces to different parts of the universe. They would never be born again, or if they were, their souls would only be large enough for small animal life.

1087

I had sensed Ulya following me and cocooned her within my energies so the Sparklers left her alone. The Sparklers all withdrew from the area and even when I stopped being the void they did not approach me. I gathered Ulya and returned us to our bodies.

“The babies!!”

“I cannot take them Ulya! I cannot!”

“They will die there. Nobody comes up to that studio, they will not be found, they will die. Save them please… please!! I promise I will let you fuck me, please save them. Save my daughter!”

Cherine jumped with me and stared in horror at the mess I had left behind me. She picked up the one toddler while I picked up the other and we jumped back home. As I handed over the little girl I collapsed to my knees, throwing up all over our carpet. Quickly I jumped to a beach.

Cherine was the first one, quickly making herself an adult so as to be strong enough to hold me. I shuddered and spasmed, dry heaves wracking my body as I wept. When I finally collapsed, the girls took me back home and put me in bed. They lay to either side of me and tried to keep me anchored to this world with the warmth of their bodies and their love. I heard weeping as I faded away.

Cherine refused to let me be, her soul followed as I sank into my mind, into that endless pit of darkness within me. She clung to me and tried to hold me up. I was no longer aware of her, only the pictures of what I had seen and what I had then done smashing through me again and again.

The others arrived with Dommi and they lifted me back up till I floated upon a cushion of souls. I could not break out of my nightmare and kept trying to fling myself away from them. The girls grimly held on.

Wendy dove into me, sharing now my pain. This brought the protector which immediately drew us apart. She sent the images to the others and she sang of the pain that was eating away at me, leaving me torn and helpless to fight back. She tried to sing to me, to bring my tattered remains back together, but I could not hear her.

Cherine spoke sharply to the protector and with Dommi, the two of them enfolded me within them and carried me to the void. Though at the time I was not aware of all that happened, it was all being ‘seen’ by my soul and now I can recall everything. Solomon appeared with Ordinx and a number of his people. They were shown by the girls what had happened and what is wrong with me.

*Cherine, will you trust us? We need to send into him a few of our parts. They will not hurt him.*

*Trust them Cherine, they will take away the darkness and pain.*

They stole the pungent urgency of the images, leaving behind the pictures that were now pale ghosts of what they had been before. My mind sank into a sleep.

*We saw him when he arrived and tore at those souls. We have never been so sickened, I saw him afterwards search for me, but we were too shaken to come to him. Now that I have seen and can understand what drove him into this frenzy, I will explain to all the Sparklers.*

Ordinx went on to explain, *Solomon called me. He sounded so distressed that a number of us came thinking he had problems with the souls being released. He told us what Robert had done and we were all faced with a terrible fear of what must have happened to drive that gentle soul into such a madness. I half suspected someone had done some evil to his loved ones. When he has recovered Cherine, you tell him from us that the Anadir people understand and his passion has made us love him even more. He must get well for the sake of his loved ones and for all of us.*

They brought me back to my body and over the days I slowly came back. It was always to a terrible grief, not for those I had killed, not only for what I had seen them doing to the babies, but also for myself, that I could have become a primeval creature of lust for the final death of another.

“Cherine.” She came to me, her face tender with her love. “Did she really say that? Did she say her daughter?”

“Yes Robert. She is actually nearly eleven. She menstruated early so they made her pregnant on purpose so as to sell pictures of a nine year old pregnant girl.”

1088

“For god’s sake, why didn’t she ask us to bring her daughter?”

“She did not want her Robert. She was also the child of the man who did it to her.”

I reached out and felt Ulya, her baby in her arms, and I saw the mess of pain and memories within her and I was sick again.

Cherine almost sounded like our Dommi. “Good Robert. Be sick, but remember what you just saw, those were what you killed. They deserved it and if you had not done it, I would have. Would you have preferred I had done it?” I managed to send my negative answer before sinking back into myself.

Days later I had a surprise visitor.

“The girls asked me to come see you. They say you committed another crime and need to confess it to me.”

“You are now claiming that priests and cops are the same, they both take confessions?”

He smiled at my weak humour. “Tell me what happened Roberto.”

“No. Come into my mind, see for yourself.”

I started from my last conversation with Ulya on Meli’s world and when I finished, Dommi was ready with the basin. He remained hunched over far longer than he needed to.

“You carry your vengeance too far Robert. I ask you on behalf of all Cherinians, on behalf of my children and all those who are to be born, swear that you will never do that again. If you must take a life do so, but let the soul find a second chance to atone. It will grow and atone someday if you allow it to. Perhaps it will atone by having done to it what it has done, perhaps by saving others, we cannot know. This is wrong Roberto mou, it is wrong.”

“I swear Savva, I swear, never again.”

One good thing that came out of this was that I ended up seeing everyone again. My brother Henry (who is staying with Socrati even though he jumps each day to be at school with my girls), Angelo who is still trying to find what is loveable within him, and even my Chinese family, little Lua charming me all over again with her sweetness and beauty.

Through all this, through my long hours of sleep and thinking, I felt myself sensing Ulya. When she came to me I felt the determination in her like a tense coil pushing her towards me.

“Are you better now?”

“Almost. How are you, are you happier now that you have your daughter?”

She did not answer but began to undress.

“Ulya, what are you doing?”

“I promised I would let you fuck me if you saved her. I’m keeping my promise.”

The darkness grew within me again.

“Oh Ulya, how could you? How could you think of me as being the same as those men?” I wept as she dressed herself and left the room.

She walked out of the bedroom, and then almost ran all the way out to the garden. This alone would have alerted the girls, but Cherine had been monitoring our conversation and her face was livid as she got up. Dommi stopped her.

“Both you and Robert are wrong. She made the offer, he got her child. She was keeping her promise. Cherine, Robert was not upset that she was trying to keep her promise. He was upset because she still cannot see he is different - even after he killed for her sake. Our poor Roberto, his love for the children who suffer is forcing him to do all the things he hates about mankind. I think it might be better to let Wendy talk to her.”

1089

“You are upset Ulya?”

“Leave me alone.”

“I will not. I almost feel like punishing you - do you know what the punishment would be? I would sing a song to you and that song would hold all the pain in our Robert and it would make you want to die. You saw how sick he is from what happened. Did you think it was just the killing that made him sick? It was the pain in you, in the two babies he found there, he became sick from seeing what those men were doing. Why do you think he went mad the way he did?”

“Why doesn’t he leave me alone? What does he want from me? What does he want?”

“He does not want your body. I think you will agree he has enough girls to love him. You are very different from me Ulya. I suffered, but when he saved me and I felt his love, I gave my heart to him. I will never love another man as much as I love him.

You were not hurt by one man, there were a number of them and that has made you hate and fear all men. That is stupid. Most men are nice, they would never do those horrible things to you. Robert only wants to feel the hate gone from you, to know that you can be happy. He does not even ask that you love him. To tell you the truth, I think you must be very stupid not to want the love of someone like Robert. You have seen how powerful he is. You have also seen he never used his power against you, only for you. He has been gentle and patient with you. When we, the girls, get impatient, he tells us we must give you as much time as you need.

Where do you think you will ever find someone else to love you like he does?”

“I don’t want anyone to love me.”

“If your wish had come true, who would have saved you? Who would have saved your daughter? Would you have preferred that she still be there being hurt by those men. Would you like Robert to go back in time and change things back to the way they were?”

Next Post 154

I hope you enjoy reading this story of fantasy, adventure and love.

Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου

(Alexander Zenon Eustace)
^{20th January, 2019}

* posted on Steemit: 20th January, 2019



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