LiTTLE CHERiNE Book 01 - post165

arthur.grafo (69)in #sfandf-fiction • 6 years ago

^{All that I have just spoken of is blinding us as to the direction we are travelling in. We are not growing our love; if we are not careful, what we have done is find a new way to kill love and destroy the human part of our souls.”}

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I paused, expecting questions, but they only stared at me, not even Cherine seeking to peek at my mind.

“Alki, as you know, we have evolved small courtesies required because of our gifts. They are only courtesies and are not rules of behaviour - for instance, if I wish to speak with one of my loves in privacy, the others will respect my request…unless they think they have a reason for listening in. We humans have a marvellous capacity for creating exceptions to every rule and I hate the reward and punishment system, so let us first examine why I claimed our gifts are a danger to us and then we can discuss whether and how we should implement our decisions.”

Alki asked me, “You still intend centering the discussion around the issue of privacy?”

“Yes. First off, I feel we should examine what privacy means. Alki, to you, Marian and Dommi, the word does not have the same meaning it does to those who are younger and I’m not talking about those with our gifts, I am talking about the entire world. Here are a few dictionary definitions:

a) privacy:

* The quality of being secluded from the presence or view of others

* The condition of being concealed or hidden

b) reclusiveness:

* Preference for seclusion or isolation

c) confidentiality:

* Discretion in keeping secret information

The word ‘privacy’ does not have some absolute, uniform meaning; it largely depends on our customs, traditions and personalities - including the media brain-washing by our governments, who wish us to consider it normal that they have the right to take away or water down our right to privacy. For this discussion, let’s keep our analysis restricted to those who are linked and have gifts.

For instance, I consider all sexual activity with a loved one as being highly personal - and thus, private, to the point where my loves consider it a prudish obsession…yet, if I am making love to or with one of them, I have never felt my other loves should not share - but I would strongly object to anyone else sharing from or with us, even indirectly.

I thought I should clarify the above, so that it is understood it is not that particular kind of privacy I fear we are sacrificing. However, it is because of our wish and even need to share such intimate moments with those who are part of our circle, that we are losing sight of the importance of other forms of privacy.

I should begin by examining what we mean when we speak of our family being a circle. A circle does not just depend on love for its existence - for example, Marian and Cherine love each other a lot and yet, they are not part of the same circle. Perhaps sex has something to do with a circle forming and maybe intention, the desire for two people or more to be one, is another - actually, sex is also part of the second reason. At least with sex, the desire to be one is achieved in a healthy manner, by the two becoming one in the child they create.

When we first danced together as souls, we were in danger of becoming one. Luckily the truth about such oneness was self-evident…achieving it is the death of love. The same need also drives us to come to know each other down to the last subatomic grain of knowledge and understanding of the other.

We have already tried to come closer by opening ourselves, especially Cherine and I. Cherine will not agree with me, but it was lucky that we were the first, for she has a very strong survival instinct - which I regret to say I do not have. When we came to know each other in detail, without her realising what her instincts were forcing on her, Cherine, so as to survive as Cherine - so as to be able to continue loving me as much as she does, changed in tiny ways, each change, difference, like kinetic energy, forcing a gap between us, a gap I like to think of as mystery…which, as we all know, is part of the magic of the other which helps keep us fascinated by each other, which in turn helps to keep love not only alive, but also eternally evolving. I saw the changes in you, Cherine, thanks to Samantha - I’ll explain why in a while.

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The need to become one is a force, not just some abstract need of love. It has begun to manifest itself as a force in some ways which are not healthy. By now it should be obvious that it abhors privacy - perhaps perceives it as some kind of threat to the successful achievement of oneness.”

I gave each of my loves a look of love before continuing. “We are a loving family, circle, and we are also a polite family. Each of us have sensed that love cannot exist if we do not respect each other. Therefore, whenever one of us indicates a need for privacy, it is granted - usually without us having to ask for it. However, I have noticed hidden resentments creeping in. When a loved one asks for privacy, in effect they are telling us they want to keep some part of themselves from us, from belonging totally to our circle.

I think there are two distinct results being born out of such resentments. The first, to prevent creating such resentments, we try to avoid asking - or wanting - privacy. The second, those who feel the resentment, also perceive such resentments as being a fear that their loved one is moving away from them, so they justify using their gifts to secretly spy on the loved one who asked for privacy. Samantha, the one time I am aware of you ignoring a wish for privacy, was when I tried to block all of you out of my mind, at the time I was in the clinic. It was good that you did so, for I do not see how I could have achieved what I needed without your help. Ignoring my wishes did not bring us closer in the way I fear, mostly because your intention was to communicate and the hours you spent in my mind you asked questions and debated with me, instead of just taking information about me from my mind. What ever additional closeness you achieved was the healthy kind.

When I started talking about privacy, I think I more or less suggested we might have to implement or establish certain rules for guiding us. However, I have kept in mind something else Samantha said. She told us she dislikes rules and prefers that we have as few as possible. Thanks to you showing me that there will have to remain the possibility of exceptions to the rule, plus your wish to keep our lives uncluttered (απέριττη) by too many rules (which would lead us to losing respect for them), I have decided I do not want to make another rule - all I want is that each of you consider all I’ve said, organise my thoughts so that they make sense to you, and then decide how you will apply them.

A last word - remember that when we do not respect the need, or even just an assumed need for privacy, we are, in a sense, raping the mind and rights of our loved one.”

I wish my mind would not stray all over the place when I am trying to make a point. I made a mess of what I really wanted to say, yet I sensed that I still affected them in the ways I’d hoped to achieve.

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^{For those readers who have not understood, when they speak using telepathy, what they say is enclosed within stars, and the thoughts exchanged are in italic.}
^{e.g *Hi, I bet you are wishing you could read thoughts.*?}