LiTTLE CHERiNE Book 01 - post162
*Are you trying to make me feel guilty? *
*Cherine, this is a private conversation. Bug off!*
615
Claudia sat on the bathroom stool while I dried her off.
“Robbie, I feel very tired. Can you use your healer to make me feel awake again?”
“This has been a long and hectic night. It is almost four in the morning and I’ve had some rather stressful experiences. Would you mind if we both sleep? We still have lots of time love. As a matter of fact, we will take all the time we want.”
She was over-tired and moaned, but I held her tightly and she soon drifted off. I felt her breath, a small warm feather on my chest and lay there enjoying my happiness, the feeling of being loved so unconditionally. I knew it will not last forever, she will turn into an adult, with other considerations affecting her love for me, forcing me also to grow up a little, but at least for now, I have the kind of love a child gives and it is very special. I did not allow myself to think of the farce the evening had turned into and slowly sank into my own dreams.
We woke up late, had room service bring us an English breakfast, as they call it, with extra toast and coffee. As we settled back on the bed, our stomachs full and our hearts at peace, the phone rang. Curious I picked it up.
“You have decided to stay an extra day or two?”
“Yes.”
“You are only doing so because you are chicken, you are scared to return and face us.”
“Yes.”
Dommi laughed and then I sensed her turn serious again. “Make it special for both of you Roberto. Don’t worry about Wendy, she is getting a lot of love from us, but she is also learning to grow up a bit.”
“Not too much my love. I want her as she is…”
616
“Don’t be silly Roberto. She has to.”
I sighed. “I know, it just…I mean, I wish it was not necessary. Thank you Dommi - and do me a favour, give number one a kiss from me, I was rather abrupt with her last night.”
As I closed the phone Claudia threw herself onto me. “You really mean that? We are going to stay longer?”
“That is right. We are also going to have to revise our plans - about making love at four this afternoon I mean.”
“You are going to do it now?” Her voice was breathless and husky.
“No, I meant, since we have more time now, maybe we could do it tomorrow at four...”
“You are trying to make me angry so that I hit you and then you never talk to me again, isn’t it?” She pummelled my chest with her little fists gently, in mock anger.
Tenderly our kisses began and as our bodies intertwined and rubbed against each other the passions awakened in both of us. When we had both reached that moment of nirvana and returned to a relaxed lethargic mood, Claudia turned towards me and I knew she was going to speak about what had been on her mind.
“Can you tell me now what last night was all about? If it does not upset you.”
I caressed her as I thought and her whole body give a little shiver, but she took a grip on herself.
“Are you going to explain?”
“Yes. Might as well practice my arguments of defence before I face the jury.” She waited while I marshalled my thoughts.
“I have done everything I could think of to help Wendy get over what her father did to her. I broke my own ‘golden’ rule, I killed him, hoping it would help her stop fearing his return. Sorry, I lie. The main reason I killed him was out of anger. I was furious at the hurt and damage he caused her. Claudia, she is such a special and precious part of my life. I tried a few unorthodox things and even Themi felt I had helped her.
I did not expect her to forget, I’m neither that stupid, nor that insensitive. Her kind of pain can never be forgotten, it is bound to linger and surface at odd moments, however deeply it is buried in love and with happy memories. But I had so hoped that she has found a new life with us, with me. I had hoped that our obvious devotion and love would become an anchor, the seed for her to grow from, with love and trust in others again, so that the power of the pain fades, remembered, but no longer the carrier of her directly felt past anguish and fears. I’m trying to find words to explain how I felt, Claudia, but I don’t think I can.
Your idea to get her to sing last night, it was brilliant. I listened and felt despair. I became convinced she would never cross the barrier he had built around her, the one of fear and mistrust of love. I heard too the love she has for me and it only added to the pain in me. If with her love for me and the love she can actually feel in me, she still fears love will turn away from her again, what do I do, how do I fight her fears?
I did not think. I did not plan what I did. I could not have. As far as I knew it was impossible to travel back in time. Desperation to solve this, to see her a happy girl again drove me blindly, so that I was compelled to do something. Without really knowing what I was to attempt, I did it. Once I found myself in the past, with Wendy and her mother, I realised what had driven me. It was to save her mother and her by killing the father before he could destroy them both. That way she could grow up with the love of her mother.
I know love, you are thinking, if I had succeeded she would never have been a part of us. We would have lost our Wendy. She would not have been with us, but she still would have existed, the main difference being that she would have been ignorant of what she lost, all she would know of is her mother, their love and she would have grown up a normal girl. If her mother did what was right, she would have also believed her dead father had loved her. I still feel very angry and bitter that my protector refused to help me. It actually seemed to prefer to allow him to kill me.”
617
“Robbie, they all heard you. Cherine asks, can she come for a few minutes?”
I was feeling too dispirited to object. “I suppose so.”
Cherine sat on the bed, running her hand up and down my leg.
“Robert, do not be angry with your protector. It was protecting Wendy. I think you forgot, if you had succeeded, Wendy would not be a part of us. If she died she would really be dead. It felt her soul was more important.”
“Shit! I really screwed up!…Cherine, do you remember when her father came to the house and I talked with him? Do you remember what he muttered, something about it being crazy? It didn’t make sense at the time, but I think he was remembering me from the time I attacked him. Thank God, it means I have not forced us into a different future.” I turned to Claudia, “Let this be a lesson for you. Do not ever put your trust in me. Be like Cherine, use your own brains, which thank god, you have more of than I do.”
“I think the only thing I don’t like about you Robbie is the way you put yourself down. If we make a mistake, you have a dozen excuses for us, but you never forgive yourself…” Cherine clambered across me and kissed Claudia. She laughed and turned to me.
“This one really likes to speak without dressing up what she has to say.”
“Yeah! Guess I’ll have to put up with it cause she really is great in bed.”
“Robert love, the only reason you put up with both of us is because we love you so much.” She gave me that big ‘Cherine’ grin. “We are all still very upset with you. We heard what you said and we maybe understand, but, it was stupid. You do not have the right to take Wendy away from us without asking us. She has problems and we will work at solving them, we do not give up on her Robert. Never!”
Chastened I had nothing to say. Claudia sensed my feelings and became angry. “Cherine, I was wrong to let you come. Look at him. You have spoiled my weekend with him. You could have waited until we returned, damn it!”
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I came here to help but got carried away. Robert, please?”
“It’s okay love. The truth can hurt at times, but I prefer you the way you are. Will you lie down by me, on this side, so that I can hold the two of you for a few minutes?”
Once Cherine was gone I lay looking at Claudia, without feeling I can do or say anything more. She wanted to put her arms around me, but I sat up. I was too deflated to feel up to being the man she wanted.
“Can we take a breather love? Go for a walk or something?” Mutely she got up and went to the bathroom.
Meli appeared. She had a naughty grin as she kissed me hello. “I came to ask for your help Robbie. I am trying to write a story and there are some bits I can’t do by myself.”
“I’m no good at writing love. Okay, what bits are these that your fertile imagination can’t handle?”
“The sexy parts. I’m not good at writing the pornographic pieces.”
“Meli! What the hell are you doing writing that kind of story. You are still a baby!”
“Will you help?” Claudia had come back into the room and was listening. She turned to Claudia. “Maybe I made a mistake, I should have asked you. I mean, if he writes the sexy bits in the same way he does them in real life, my readers would get bored and dump the book. Whenever things start to get interesting, he either wants to stop for a chocolate, or to talk. Talk! He just loves talking!”
There is too much a sense of innocent joy in Meli for anyone to be hurt by anything she says. I knew she was just pulling my leg so I tried to hide the way I felt. But I was at a vulnerable moment when a joke like this was bound to backfire and hurt me. It is amazing how finely tuned to me Claudia has become. I saw in her eyes that she had picked up my feelings. Not only the lowering of my self-esteem, but also my need that my Meli not be hurt. The sparks in her eyes faded and gently she asked Meli to leave her questions for later - and to make sure no one else comes either. Meli had been back home for minutes before she became aware of the possibility of the damage she may have caused, so well had Claudia handled it.
For those readers who have not understood, when they speak using telepathy, what they say is enclosed within stars, and the thoughts exchanged are in italic.
e.g *Hi, I bet you are wishing you could read thoughts.*?
Αλέξανδρος Ζήνον Ευσταθίου
(Alexander Zenon Eustace)30th June, 2018
* posted on Steemit 30th June, 2018
Γιατί ανησυχούν οτι θα την χασουν;; δε το ήξερα οτι αν αλλάξουν το παρελθόν μπορει να μη ειναι μαζί τους; η ηταν απόφαση μόνο του Robert?
Se olli tin istoria tous pou eho grapsi, o Robert pairnei polli sovara to thema. Pigainontas piso sto hrono mporei na allaksi tin istoria tous (o megalos fovos tou Robert, etsi pou latrevei to koritsia) einai oti mporei tote na min yparhoun sto parelthoun ean kapoios allaksi to parelthin. Oute tous epitrepei na pane sto mellon, giati fovate oti ean mathoun kati pou den tous aresei, mporei na mpoun se peirasmo kai na dokimasoun na to allaksoun....kai isos tote sto telos na ginei kati heirotero.
Eftihos mono ekeinos kai o protector tou ehoun tin ikanotita na taksidevoun sto hrono - mono, pou afto den einai entelos alitheia.
Eas poume oti paei i Cherine sto allo reality pou pige o Robert - kai tou edose mpounia o pateras tou). Gisizontas sto spiti kai stin oikogeneia tis, ean epithimisi na epistre stois imeres pou proto-gnorise ton Robert, ekei tha vrethi...kai isos afto allaksei tin istoria tous. Ean allaksi i istoria tous, tote isos i kainourgia Cherine den paei gia na gyrisi sto parelthon...afto sta agglika legetai paradox (to Greek trnslator leei afti i leksi eiani παράδοξο, all den nomizo oti einai sosto.)
Opos les, to na paei piso sto hrono gia na allaksi tin zoi tis Wendy eitan apofasi mono tou Robert, gia afto olles einai thimomenes mazi tou.
οκ. Καλά το κατάλαβα...