A word from a former "slut".
While my initial desire to have sex with many men stemmed from losing my virginity forcefully, years later I had sex with a lot of men, some I hardly knew, for one reason.
I liked to fuck.
(me in my hayday)
There's always been bit of a double standard when it comes to sex, right? Men get high fives and women get labeled as cheap. Men judge women for being sluts and other women judge women for being sluts. But guys get high-fived. Although I guess now women are stigmatizing promiscuous men as "fuckboys" but men still high-five one another. I do hope the "Fuckboy" term will lead to both sides of this silly stigma crashing down.
We are alive for what, maybe 80, 90 years? 70 possibly. And we are in our prime fucking (meaning, sex) years for..... 20 of those? I am not ashamed of my time I spent exploring my pleasures and enjoying sex. I looked inside myself and gave into desire and fetishes. I had mother-fucking fun. And it caused no babies and no STDs.
Clearly popping out unplanned babies and spreading STDs to "friends" is not cool.
But I am just saying that having a lot of sex while you're young is not necessarily bad.Sex with people you don't know well is fun and exciting. And I am glad I got that out of my system before getting to the age of wanting to settle down and stick to one person. I am glad I am not going to be regretting my lack of exploration for the rest of my life. I explored sex so much that now it's "eh". I like it but really only when I love the person. I got all the meaningless fucking clear out of my system. No mystery to seek. No forbidden fruit to pick. I had sex and I had fun.
And I didn't only explore sex with other people I explored my ability to give myself pleasure too. And I gave myself a LOT of pleasure. I explored fantasies nobody ever had to know. I tried putting random objects in random places; nothing dangerous. And I watched porn too, a lot of it. Still do. Porn is awesome. I endorse porn. I encourage other women to explore their bodies. Buy toys. Watch porn. Have fantasies. Fuck yourself really well. I am better at fucking myself than anyone else.
Here is a relevant page from my coloring book:
Ironically, I am now demi-sexual.
I get no pleasure from sex unless I have an emotional connection. This happened suddenly and against my will. I went to have meaningless sex with a very sexy man I had had (heh) meaningless sex with just 5 months prior and, to my surprise, I couldn't get any pleasure from it. I got completely dry. We had to stop! I went home and moaned to my roommates about the cruelty of it all. Then I tried a few more times, same. Then I tried with a person I love, not same. :)
I wonder if I ever would have gotten here without first being a completely free slut?
Go have sex, kids, but be safe. And not if you are actual kids. If you are a kid don't have sex. :)
Fantastic read....and being a male with lots of female friends....and a "male slut", "stud" or "[insert connotative term for male slut here]", I am acutely aware that the double standard between men and women with similar sexual appetites remains surprisingly slow to change over the last 20 or 25 years (I'm 46 and began having sex at 14)--at least from my warped perspective. I'm getting to old to know what's really going on in kids that are old enough to be my own (I don't have any children, I simply have my 6 nephews to spoil beyond rotten, and I can return them to my brother or sister when I feel like acting their age), but I have had sex with several females that were not even embryonic when I was in college...and my sense is that those born into gen X have a subconscious double standard residing beneath their sexually progressive exteriors.....while those in their 20s and 30s have made strides in eliminating this double standard....IMPWO....Also, the US remains hobbled by it's own puritan beginnings: Americans are still associate far too much shame with sex, or anything sexual for that matter; I know this after living and playing pro hockey in Europe for several years....They simply don't associate shame and sex....we could take a lesson from them in this respect.....
I plan to be in Belgium for at least a few years soon. It'll be interesting to see how different it is there. Not that I will be having lots of sex as I am moving to be with my boyfriend but just the fact that there isn't the stigma there means their entire culture is going to be different and probably refreshing. The way Americans regard nudity even is ridiculous.
What's your phone number? ;)
lol as I stated in the end of the article I am actually demisexual and no longer enjoy meaningless sex and have a wonderful bf. :)
Just because there is a goalie at the other end doesn't mean u can't score!
I have heard your story before. I think its great that you know this about yourself and have spent time to understand how you got to your love of sex.
It is tough, even in modern day world, for a women who like sex to be seen in the same light as men who like sex.
I myself used to judge as man who loves sex. But in time, i have come to an understanding not to judge but to respect a woman who loves to be with someone for her pleasure. good for you
Awesome. Glad you realized the double standards. :)
It is liberating and awesome to explore ones sexuality.
Indeedy. Thanks for sharing. There's no reason for the double standard- society needs to catch up..
I understand needing the emotional connection. A lot of people don't feel that Tinder is for relationships but I have met some really good girls on here. Here is a post I just did about how Tinder and Steemit are similar. https://steemit.com/steem/@brianphobos/how-steemit-is-like-tinder-detailed-explanation-and-advice
liked to fuck
?
I still very much like to fuck, I just fuck people I love. But I very much like fucking.
I agree. We should probably have sex sometime
The last bit of my blog talks about how I no longer enjoy meaningless sex at all. Missed your window. XD
A lot of people who suffer a sexual trauma go down a very sex-filled path afterward, and spend a lot of mental energy convincing themselves how awesome that path is. The psychological explanation is that it has something to do with reclaiming power and sexuality. At any given moment, something bad could happen and a person's sexuality is now in someone else's control, and for people who've experienced that first-hand, that ever-present possibility just eats at them, leading them to have countless sexual encounters, almost like they're trying to convince themselves that they're in control. They have the choice.
And the more sex they have and the more trivial and recreational sex becomes to them, the less that was taken from them so long ago. So some bad person did something trivial to them, one time? Someone else in the future might do the same thing? That's nothing if they've done the same trivial act 500 times with random people.
This reminds me of the movie: Nymphomaniac.
Good story.
Thank you for getting this off your chest :) it helps you as well as others.
<3 Namaste
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@charlot/why-steemit-charlot
Thx for sharing