How to break a dry spell (for men)

in #sex5 years ago

Article outline-

1- Giving a woman good sex is often not enough
2- Everyone gets what they deserve
3- You’d better make sure that what you deserve happens to be a lot of sex
4- How we gon do this?

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The Phallic Wreck
Your sex life look like this?

So... Why you haven’t gotten laid recently despite the fact that you are neither the worst looking guy in the world, nor the most awkward???

The answer to that all important question is…
Probably because you don’t deserve to.

Let me Illustrate.

I’m a good looking guy. Naturally I’m a skinny 7, and when I’m jacked I’m like an 8.5. I’m confident, hypersocial, hypersexual, and on the odd occasion known to be charming. All sounding good so far right? I should be drowning in a metaphorical sea of pussy? To the contrary, I have pretty hectic periods of lots of sex interspersed with those of no sex, and only very recently broke a 3 month dry spell- the second longest of my life. Don’t even ask me about the longest one… the worst 18 years of my life fuck!

Question: How and why did this 3 month spell happen?
Answer: I did not have anything to offer a girl. Girls are surrounded by dicks offering them sex all day long. Occasionally they’ll take one of these boring dicks (literally and figuratively) into their vagina in order to feel pleasure. This is why boring motherfuckers still managed to get laid occasionally, it’s just being in the right place at the right time. If, however, you want to have regular sex and good sex and good relationships and all sorts of good good good, then you really need to be offering much more than just a throbbing oblong shaped piece of flesh to a girl. Even if you’re offering good sex, this is still often not enough. Relating back to my own experience with the dry spell… during this dry spell, I knew, that any girl I took home was probs gonna have some really good sex and then get seriously cuddled and then probably sexed again. I wasn’t shy or embarrassed when chatting to women while out, as I would be if I knew I was advertising false goods aka shit dick. Fact is, I was confident, and they still weren’t keen. Why? Because they want more than the good sex (generally.) They want your good vibes!

If you haven’t gotten laid, it’s because essentially you don’t deserve to. Sex is an emotional conversation, or a two way street, and if you have nothing to say, or nothing to give, girls can tell this a mile away. They want you to be happy, and fulfilled. They want you to want them but not to need them. They want you to be there with them and present. This is not an easy concept to explain, but let me have a whack. See I demonstrate at most times, all the qualities of an alpha… Like I said before, I’m physically attractive, confident etc. Thing is, this is just the outer shell. Alphaness is an Oreo, and chicks don’t need to eat you to tell if you have a good filling, they can tell a mile away. And my inner alpha Oreo filling has been lacking recently. I haven’t had the required presence nor fulfilment, and thus have been perceived as a boy as opposed to a man.

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Lets defer to David Deida to explain:

The most loving women are the women who will test you the most. She wants you to be your fullest, most magnificent self. She won’t settle for anything less. She knows it is true of you. She knows in your deepest heart you are free, you are Shiva. Anything less than that she will torment. And, as you know, she’s quite good at it.

Most women have never felt they met someone who knows them deeper than they know themselves. Because the third-stage man is vulnerable consciousness, he feels her deeper than she could feel herself. He feels her yearning heart and meets her at a deeper place than she could feel herself, deeper than she expected–that is ravishment.
Ravishment is where she is taken open to the place she has intuited as her divine nature–infinite love. To be taken open by a man who is consciousness as a practice, a man who is not trying to fuck her, who is not trying to put his dick in her to have an orgasm, who is not trying to get her to be quiet or to calm her emotions. He is completely accepting her the way she is. And then loving her so deeply she has no choice but to burst open with his full presence.

The most erotic moment for a woman is feeling that you are Shiva, the divine masculine: unperturbable, totally loving, fully present, and all-pervading. She cannot move you, because you already are what you are, with or without her. She cannot scare you away, because you already penetrate her in fearless love, pervading her heart and body. She cannot distract you, because your one-pointed commitment to truth will not bend to her wiles. Feeling this hugeness of love and freedom in you, she can trust you, utterly, and surrender her testing in celebration of love.

That’s what I mean by presence.

So where I want to lead you here, is to some serious self-reflection. Let’s go, but a slight tangent first:

FACT: There’s a shortage or alpha males in the world. You hear girls complaining about how they can’t find any good guys? You hear Pick Up Artists writing about how the top 10-20% of guys get all the sex? Well it’s somewhat true… Who can say whether this is due to biological differences in the male and female brain (there is some significant evidence to support this) or to cultural gender roles. I would say it’s a combination of both. Anyway, the upshot is that there’s a small percentage of attractive guys who have sex with a lot of different women. Unfortunately it is less acceptable to have the inverse: a small percentage of attractive girls sleeping with a large percentage of guys. Thus we have the upper echelon of guys sleeping with a disproportionately large number of girls. As George Bernard Shaw said: “The maternal instinct leads a woman to prefer a tenth share in a first rate man to the exclusive possession of a third rate one.” Read this article it’s amazing. Footnote 1 Or just trust me.

Point being: good guys (aka men not boys) are in high demand and have a LOT of sex, fucking a comparatively large proportion of the female population. SOOOOO… been getting way too much pussy to handle lately? No? Well it’s no mystery… It’s because yo a pussy-ass beta biatch; you’re not part of that top group of men. Haha don’t stress brother, we all are at some point. Humans I believe, all have the same fundamental potential to be incredible, to be pathetic, to be kind, to be completely lacking in empathy, to be completely selfless etc. It is literally one of the goals of life to make the best of what you’re given- what we’re all given… A blank canvas.

So the reason you’re not smashing is that something is wrong in you’re life, and you’re not fulfilled. Because you’re not fulfilled you’re unfulfillment is naturally compounded by the fact that you are probably not so happy when you’re dry. This is how it works. Mojo comes in vicious circles. You’re smashing so you’re happy and girls love your good vibes so you smash more until you smash the most beautiful girl you’ve ever smashed and then you smash each other so damn good that you lose interest in smashing others, and in the end the beautiful girl takes from you (with your consent of course) that which she was originally attracted by- your alphaness. You probably stay together for a while… maybe your whole life. If you do eventually break up then you probs don’t get on the poon train straight away and you are sad and no-one wants to communicate sexually with someone who has nothing to say sexually, or share love with one who has none to give.

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Okay let's fucking get things back in shape up in this bitch. Here goes.

So you gotta kick some fucking ass, and be patient, realising that our universe functions on very simple principles of cause and effect, and that this is the ultimate fairness. Everything that has ever happened has happened for a reason, although you may be only aware of the effect and not the cause. When I turn on the shower and accidentally wash an ant down the drain, he is not aware of my existence, or the complex mathematics of the modern plumbing system. He only understands that there was no water, now there is some water, and that he cannot swim and having done nothing wrong his whole life, is now on a one way train to destination fucked. He is naturally upset about this. Don’t be the ant. Just because you do not understand the cause of your situation, does not mean there is not a reason. The world is fair, it’s just that you can’t see all the rules yet. Me neither.

So… Learn to be woke.
Ideally you want to be coming from a place of love. You want others to be happy. You like furry animals, and you like looking after people. I see SOOOOO FUCKING MANY wannabe PUA alpha cunts that just don’t fucking get it. Sure if you just take what you want in a Machiavellian fashion you CAN get places… You CAN just approach 100 girls and one of them will fuck you, but I dare say it won’t be an ultimately fulfilling experience for either of you. I see guys who do this, but I know it doesn’t lead to long run happiness. You gotta understand that Alpha’s have everything that they want, and have no threats. And so what do they do? Being satisfied themselves living this great life, they try and help others do the same. They help others out, they give them massages, they show them how they got to where they are. They are kind and loving and they don’t try to make sure they’re the most dominant in the room. They don’t need to use negs to bring others down to their level, they use pos’s to bring them up to their level.

Of course, the human brain is very hierarchical. It knows where you stand in society and rewards or punishes you based on this. Footnote 2 One could argue that those alpha’s are only happy cos they’re alpha in comparison to the betas, and if the betas became alpha, the original alpha’s would freak the fuck out. I (with no evidence other than gut feeling) disagree… I think when you’re that woke and your life is that cool, you don’t give a fuck who’s alpha. If these other guys are happy and alpha too, then you’re happy for them and you’re just gonna have even more fun together and get along better. When I’m chilling with a bunch of other alpha’s, I’m so happy with myself and life that I’m not stressed by them… I’m too busy being happy. You know those huge motherfuckers who walk around in gangs looking for fights? Reckon they’ve been smashing lately? I highly doubt it. Alphas love, not hate.

So now you understand the ‘why you’re not getting any’ and the ‘what it looks like to be an alpha’ it’s time to get to the 'how to fix your beta-ness.' You’ve already taken the first step- that’s reading this.
Step 2- Acknowledge your faults and take responsibility.
Step 3- Change-
3.1- Read this- https://steemit.com/health/@iloveseks/do-not-ask-yourself-why-you-re-not-happy-until-you-re-doing-these-things
3.2- Read this- https://steemit.com/meditation/@iloveseks/meditation-will-fix-all-your-problems
3.3- I would recommend an LSD (or Shroom) trip at this point. Alternatively you could take a Vipassana meditation retreat.
3.4- After this, a continual meditation practice to keep the realisations alive and in effect.
3.5- Follow up with some good reading. Here you go- in order of lowest level difficulty and reward to highest- Attraction Institute, Art of Manliness, and David Deida.

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p.s.

I want to stress here that allowing one’s self to flow and connect and to be fulfilled can be extremely difficult for some people, especially masculine beings. This post is intended for the intermediate man- one who does not normally have TOO much difficulty in connecting emotionally, spiritually and sexually. Not for beginners.

1 https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200802/the-paradox-polygamy-ii-why-most-women-benefit-polygamy
2- https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/male-status-brain/

One final note… Always remember- If you haven’t been fucked in a while and things get really dire… Just wait for the government to release the budget.

Peace and Love xoxo

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resteemed with love

Even if you try to change the term alpha a little, I think the choice of this word is inappropriate in relation to the relationship between man and woman. The term alpha is taken from the animal world and describes the leading animal of a herd.
We humans no longer live in tribes ourselves, but in large civilizations, where this form of animal leadership often has very negative connotations. I find it really unfortunate how often you use the word, but especially in combination with the numerous curses (fucking, fuck).

It alienates me that you seem so accustomed to calling the bodily union by terms commonly associated with insults?

Maybe you think that the use of the word "fuck" is descriptive and significant for the physical relationship, but I would think it cannot be ignored that in general use of the word "fuck" is meant a swearword and a devaluation.

If something falls down and breaks on the floor, you say "fuck", you say it on almost every possible occasion, as a single exclamation "fuck" can stand for surprise, pain, fear, disappointment or anger.

I find it highly peculiar to use it to make two people intimate with each other. It's a contradiction.

You will hardly be able to trace this development of language use back, except that you completely refrain from using it at all. Are you American?
We have a lot less censorship in movies and series here and I understand the frequent use as a rebellion against censorship, but it's still exaggerated for me and not fitting in the context you wrote about.

It makes your article, which I find quite interesting in some aspects, smaller and reduces it in a strange way, as if you don't necessarily believe yourself.

I may be wrong, but I think no woman (and actually no man) likes it when you say you fucked him or her.

Hey Erika... lovely to have you reading and commenting, you're one of the first people to actually properly engage with my writings :) When I use the word 'alpha' I am referring to the term as defined by the ultimate authority the Urban dictionary:

Alpha Male
"Generally the guy who gets all the babes. The Alpha Male is very confident and steadfast. Here are some of the traits of the alpha male.

Charismatic
Intelligent
Masculine
Manly
Calculating
Not offended by small meaningless things.
Doesn't give others shit but he doesn't take shit either.
Does not give two fucks about what others think of them."

This is my meaning.

I swear because I swear with my mouth in real life and it is my way of expression. I don't believe a 'harmful' word used with good intentions is harmful. Just because the word 'fuck' is used as an insult does not necessarily disqualify it for positive usage. Bodily union is one way of viewing/framing sex, fucking is another... I find both of equal value, legitimacy, and enjoyment.
Peace and love xo

Happily I receive your friendly response.

You are certainly right, if you speak so freely with your girlfriend and mean it teasingly, no mischief will happen. But I am afraid the people who are not so close to you are not so perfect. I would think that one should always reckon with the imperfection and vulnerability of others, just as in road traffic. Your language is seen as a violation of dignity for the many who find that others do evil to them.

You simply minimize the chance to contribute to this illusion by practicing a little adaptation to customs in public space.

**ck you very much ;-)

Oh, and

Doesn't give others shit but he doesn't take shit either.
Does not give two fucks about what others think of them."

Nah ... still sounds as if you give a stinky finger instead ...

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