I think I would have loved being a sex coach--the kind that has sex with men and women to help them heal.
Go ahead. Google "sex coach." I'll wait.
Were my parents to read this, they would both cringe and cheer. I am saying I would have sex for money with multiple partners and across genders, but I will share the reason I haven't done this: my parents made me afraid of sex. They taught me that women wanting sex was horrible. I was to save it for my husband who would tell me when he wanted it and I would be available.
That type of thinking is a load of misogynistic, religious bullshit.
This type of religious imagery makes more sense to me.
Sex is naturally healing when there is consent between partners. It can be a physical release, an emotional connection or both. One of my favorite gifts to receive is sexual satisfaction from my partner with no expectation of reciprocation. Why? Because it is my husband showing me that sex isn't all about him, despite the dysfunctional idea vacuum I grew up in. Having a man not be selfish about sex and instead to make it all about my pleasure--well, it's a major turn on.
In fact, our sexual relationship used to be terrible because, in bed, I was as lively as a catcher's mitt. My spouse offered to please me in different ways, but I was too afraid to accept. Doing so would mean I was giving in to my base desires and allowing Satan to control my body and mind.
This idea of healing others with sex is not a new one. As a child, I knew there must be a flip side to sexuality. If it has the power to destroy, it also has the power to heal. I wanted to invert what I was taught, and since I was raised to be hyper aware of myself as a sexual creature, I noticed every arousal. While I condemned them by casting Satan behind me as taught, I could never stop my mind from creating rich fantasies in which I could give sex to anyone who needed it and even be financially rewarded for it.
While I have no desire to lift coconuts with my vagina, I am interested in upping my sex game.
Okay, I'm not going to start walking that path now necessarily, but I can extend the practice to my marriage bed. I know how much I like to get sex as a gift, so why not give it more often?
Do you give sex as gifts? Are you a sex coach or have you worked with one?
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