Giving sex as healing gift

in sex •  2 years ago

I think I would have loved being a sex coach--the kind that has sex with men and women to help them heal.

Go ahead. Google "sex coach." I'll wait.

Were my parents to read this, they would both cringe and cheer. I am saying I would have sex for money with multiple partners and across genders, but I will share the reason I haven't done this: my parents made me afraid of sex. They taught me that women wanting sex was horrible. I was to save it for my husband who would tell me when he wanted it and I would be available.

That type of thinking is a load of misogynistic, religious bullshit.

This type of religious imagery makes more sense to me.

Sex is naturally healing when there is consent between partners. It can be a physical release, an emotional connection or both. One of my favorite gifts to receive is sexual satisfaction from my partner with no expectation of reciprocation. Why? Because it is my husband showing me that sex isn't all about him, despite the dysfunctional idea vacuum I grew up in. Having a man not be selfish about sex and instead to make it all about my pleasure--well, it's a major turn on.

In fact, our sexual relationship used to be terrible because, in bed, I was as lively as a catcher's mitt. My spouse offered to please me in different ways, but I was too afraid to accept. Doing so would mean I was giving in to my base desires and allowing Satan to control my body and mind.

This idea of healing others with sex is not a new one. As a child, I knew there must be a flip side to sexuality. If it has the power to destroy, it also has the power to heal. I wanted to invert what I was taught, and since I was raised to be hyper aware of myself as a sexual creature, I noticed every arousal. While I condemned them by casting Satan behind me as taught, I could never stop my mind from creating rich fantasies in which I could give sex to anyone who needed it and even be financially rewarded for it.

While I have no desire to lift coconuts with my vagina, I am interested in upping my sex game.

Okay, I'm not going to start walking that path now necessarily, but I can extend the practice to my marriage bed. I know how much I like to get sex as a gift, so why not give it more often?

Do you give sex as gifts? Are you a sex coach or have you worked with one?

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Actually, I was thinking my next post would be about sexual healing of some kind. I'm still thinking, though :)


I think that sounds like a great post!


Want to know about sexual healing--read the Holy Bible :D

Sex coach??? Are you kidding me?
I'm a master :D


Maybe you should do the coaching? ROFL :D

This post reminded me of this short VICE documentary I watched few days ago.
Those ladies do awesome job out there.
"Inside the Controversial World of Medically Assisted Sex" (some prudesters may consider this video NSFW btw )


"Intimacy coach." I like that term.

Very interesting!
I definitely know that sex can be healing as much as it can be harmful.
I am pretty fascinated by the video @logic shared. I don't know that I could ever be a sex coach, but I certainly like writing about sex. :)


It is quite a fascinating job to have! I don't know that I could be a sex coach given where I am now. In my opinion, it is an important job. Healthy sex, destigmatization and access are topics I feel like I want to learn more about.


If you look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, sex is actually in the same group as water, food, air, and sleep - all fundamental necessities of life.

Great post, new ways of thinking from our old past can be so empowering.

One of my favorite gifts to receive is sexual satisfaction from my partner with no expectation of reciprocation.

What type of sexual satisfaction do you like to receive that doesn't involve reciprocation? Obviously not sex because that is usually always instantaneously reciprocating when both individual connect that way.


Manual masturbation is my favorite, but receiving touch in general works for me.


That makes sense. Like with his hands or mouth? Yeah that always good, like soft sensual touches.

Interesting... I blogged recently about how we should talk about sex more, but I didn't take it this far. Definitely interesting to consider. Thanks for sharing! :)


Great post! I do think we should be talking about it more. I think I'll write about that now.


Thank you! I look forward to reading it. Followed.