Dick, Rise up and walk - Having hard times in the morning

Why are we hard in the mornings?

Being a man has few disadvantages, at least in practical terms. We don't menstruate, neither we have a weird sporting inertia thanks to the presence of breasts, osteoporosis is way more gentle with us, our reproductive cycle is active until our body -and pharmacological help- can stand the stress and, if we become bald we can always claim that it's because of excessive testosterone :wink: (even when that excuse is rather vague).

But, above all, being a man is peeing standing up.

Duchamp did not see that using a urinal was establishing that there is actually a field that defines a man as something far superior against a woman. The magic possibility of redirecting a perfect arch of water, salts and urea; allowing us to excrete toxins and regulate our osmotic equilibrium... We may not be able of experimenting the magic of conception, but there's magic in writing our names in the dry floor, one of those weird moments when writing in cursive is actually useful.

The only legal void is the morning. Then, when you need it the most, dick does whatever he likes. Not even that, he has to comply to an erection reflex that is born off a bladder threatening to explode thanks to all those things you drank last night, and now it is pressing against the sacrum nerves. This favors the irrigation of the erectile tissue, but converts a simple task as aiming to the toilet into an oblique practice shot mixed with basic hydraulic rules; where the errors are accounted by counting the stained tiles.

Even when there's some kind of evolutive justification for this phenomenon (something like, it wakes us up a bit and prevent us from wetting our beds), there's unclear bases to sustain that, along with zero responses for a clear question: How can it be that I'm just waking up and you, dick, are already fully functional?

Leaving aside that usual male mindfart of giving a personality to his own dick, the thing is that dreams and erections have a beautiful background story. Sleeping is that moment that we assume as a very low neurological activity one, yet, if you all did your homework, you already know that it is not. Sleeping is a beautiful mindfuck, where everything happens.

One of the sleeping stages is the renowned "Rapid Eye Movement" (REM). We reach this stage through cyclic periods and the interesting thing is that the correlate very well with night-time boners (or nocturnal penile tumescences, if your want to talk about it seriously).

During the REM stage, the neurotransmitter balance in out body changes, and there's a particular one, the norepinephrine, that lowers its levels a lot. The interesting about the norepinephrine is that it generates vasoconstriction in the area. Norepinephrine's absence allows the mechanisms that depend on testosterone to express much better, resulting in a happy, happy irrigation.

Other other side of the same process include the release of nitric oxide, another vasodilator, one of the superstars of that famous blue pill.

Then, since we know that the REM is cyclic, one would expect the tumescences to also be, and... Yes. 4, maybe 5 times per night, and that frequency decays as age starts working its horrors on the human body (it's the testosterone levels going down, not the "experience" wearing off).

This oniric simulacrum has a really high adaptive value, the irrigation and exchange of substances in this aroused tissue now gives the possibility of repairing and regeneration any potential injury (everything is "spread out", that makes it easier to fix).

Yet, the topic still is: Why od I wake up like this? Because the REM is the last stop before you wake up. This means that, except because of that cursed wake up alarm thunder comes after lightning , and "erection comes after REM" and a "good morning" that can be better than any breakfast if we add up that sexual activity has two peaks in the circadian cycle: One before sleeping and another one as you just woke up. A good reason to go to bed early, dine something light, rest, and wake up with no hurries in the morning.

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