The Zombie Apocalypse. It's Happening NOW!

The Zombie Apocalypse meme has been around for quite some time. Books have been written. Movies have been made. Zombie-themed TV series go on for years. Soldiers even train for its eventuality.

Everyone is familiar with the staggering, drooling, wild-eyed, teeth-gnashing undead corpses who lurch ever onward grabbing at terrified people as they try to get away. A zombie’s drive is unrelenting, its hunger insatiable. They’re coming after you. They seek to enslave you. They want to eat your brain.

Most people are shocked to realize that the Zombie Apocalypse is already happening. Our planet and its people are in the gravest of danger. Here’s why:

The zombies you see on TV and in the movies aren’t real zombies. They’re shape-shifted to look like people but they’re not. Real zombies are physically invisible.

Zombies are not alive. They’re undead, meaning they are lifeless entities animated by some disease or other factor. And yet in many ways they seem to be human, may even have some of the same attributes as persons. Can you think of anything that has the same rights as natural persons but isn’t actually alive? Here’s a hint:

One might think of a zombie as an undead corpse. But that “se” at the end is misleading. Drop it and you get corp. Corp happens to be an abbreviation for corporation. So is Co. and Inc. and LLC. The zombies I’m talking about are corporations.

• A corporation is not a living entity. In fact, the word incorporate literally means to give bodily form to something that has none. In other words, something dead brought to life by government paperwork.

• Corporations hide behind legal veils. That’s why they’re invisible and are shielded from responsibility for their actions.

• Corporations seldom die and can live forever, though quite often other corporations eat them.

• Government bestows upon corporations the same rights as flesh and blood human people.

• Corporations lurch ever forward with an insatiable appetite for profits, but that’s not all.

Ever wonder why the most successful people you know are usually high school or collage dropouts? Bill Gates and Steve Jobs come to mind. Why then does the establishment continue to insist that higher education is the path to success?

Corporations are not alive, but in order to behave like a living entity they need educated brains. If you aren’t entrepreneurial in spirit, you can still make a living working for a corporation if you have a trained brain. The corporation will then place you in a position where it can harvest your ideas for itself. And if your brain is fattened with education that is piled high and Deep, one might even hold you in a think tank where it can tap into your brain at will. It will even feed you a salary to keep you alive until you are no longer of use to them. Once your brain is used up, however, you are discarded.

• In other words, corporations live by consuming human brains.

How can we mere mortals protect ourselves from these zombies?

Corporate zombies have powers we only dream of. Corporate zombies want to harvest us like a cash crop. Because they live forever, zombies often amass vast wealth and with this wealth they control governments via politicians, individuals who, more often than not, have served corporations directly and are deep in the process of having their brains eaten. That’s why politicians pass laws that favor zombies over people. That’s why we’re being increasingly herded into smaller and smaller pastures. That’s why we no longer are allowed the freedoms and latitudes we once enjoyed.

In fact, a good synonym for government might be vampire.

• A vampire lives forever too, unless the townspeople drive a wooden stake into its heart.

• Vampires need to put the bite on and tax the lifeblood out of its victims to survive.

• Vampires fear the light and move in secret in the dark.

• Vampires avoid or obscure sunshine laws

• Governments turn hirelings into brain dead automatons called bureaucrats.

• Governments are corporations and are therefore zombies too. Zombie vampires are the most destructive of all.

• Zombies and Vampires conspire to confuse, frighten and scatter us to keep us from banding together against them. That’s why they constantly promote racial, economic, political and religious differences and provide situations where differing factions fight amongst each other. Divide to conquer.

So you see, the nightmare is already happening. The Zombie Apocalypse is on.

Now that you know the true enemy you are forewarned. Run and hide. Seek solidarity to survive. Gather those stakes and pike poles together. Arm yourselves. Stop cooperating. Cinch down tight your tinfoil hat. It’s been happening for a long time now but it’s sure to get worse before it gets better.