I'm only here for the boobies!

I'm pretty sure that most people will tell tales about getting into sailing and boating in general because they did it as kids. It therefore has been a long familial tradition to have a boat on the water; with memories of family outings to wonderful locations. To add some spice there will be a tale of the time Dad fell in and Mum had to drive the boat for hours before he was later located in a pub somewhere.

I have those stories, but if I am brutally honest that is not my major driving force for getting back into boating as an adult. It comes down to boobies. It is a well established truth that for some reason ladies (who should know better) like nothing better than stripping off whenever possible on a boat. I don't know whether it is the pseudo privacy that a boat provides or the solitude that can be experienced, perhaps the exotic mix between comfort and danger acts like an aphrodisiac. Regardless, I am well aware of it and allow complete freedom when it comes to ladies taking their clothes off on my boats. Chaps, you generally ask for permission, the answer is usually no!

Anyway, I had a couple of decades away from boating and one day decided that I wanted to get back into it. No real rhyme nor reason beyond that basic desire. I went into my local club, signed up for membership and pretty much bought a powerboat straight off. It turns out that I purchased a remarkably capable boat and it has served me well. It smells of fuel, fish, bird shit and occasionally WD40. Regardless she speeds about my local water nicely and I have taken her to some really dodgy locations in perfect confidence.

Unfortunately for me I appear to be quite a capable powerboater so I would often go down to the club to play on my boat and instead would find myself roped into doing rescue duties for whatever group of sailors were going out. It was a logical progression to find myself sitting a RYA Powerboating 2 certificate, I didn't really think anything about it. Once I had that it was reasonable that I did a RYA First Aid course, handy enough. Nice for the club to sponsor me too, saving quite a bit of money! I found myself roped into doing the RYA Safety Boat course too, which kinda made sense at the time. I didn't mind too much because in some way it was in my self interest.

I paid my own way through the RYA Yachtmaster Coastal course because I really wanted to nail down how to navigate, particularly as I was doing lots of longer trips with friends. I also sat the RYA VHF course, because I am also an Amateur Radio geek so it seemed to make sense. Yacht cruising remains my major passion as it adds a sense of adventure to the heady mix of luxury and danger; the perfect recipe for acts of random nudity along with Boy's Own Adventure thrills.

However, this weekend I found myself sitting the assessment for RYA Powerboating 2 Instructor. I passed, and I am now able to teach others how to safely and effectively use a Powerboat, I can issue certificates and assess abilities.

At the start of the course we were asked to introduce ourselves and say why we were doing the course. The first person to respond said he was working with kids and adults alike, organising the events and coordinating the safety boat activities. He wanted to bring more people online and support the good work the club did. The person before me said she was refreshing her certificate which had lapsed and was progressing with creating a kids powerboating scheme. She was full of lots of knowledge and skills and a wonderfully worthy person.

I simply gave my name and said "I'm just here for the boobies!". Honesty is always the best policy.

The season is rapidly approaching, I hope to replace the running rigging on the yacht I am resurrecting, this weekend and with luck and a following wind I will have a nice platform to continue my quest for breast. Some photographs may follow but I doubt, dear reader, that you should get your hopes up for anything other than beautiful scenery.

Have fun and hopefully speak again soon!

#knot