Very sad story - I'm very tired of such a life

I do not even know where to start. I'm tired. And from his whole family. Became whiny, before such for myself did not notice.

It all began with the fact that my mother became very ill, incurable. From that moment it all began. Almost three years ago, we all learned this news. She told me first, taking the promise that I will not tell anyone else. Six months I was silent, and then I could not stand it. I understood how serious it all was.

Then it was decided to leave the country. My husband and I took this decision out of our considerations, and my parents only because of my mother's illness. It is very difficult to emigrate. True. Another country, customs, language.

Upon arrival, a child who never went to the garden went there. I became nervous, I understood that it was a great stress for him. He began to get very sick. I began to worry very much about him. Dad, who had a good career, left everything and left, now every day he made hysterics, for which he did it. Although he perfectly understood why.

Mum was treated, a lot passed, her character changed a lot. She understands that she is terminally ill, sometimes she uses the situation. She was given a chance to live, stabilized her health in such a way that she can service herself, clean up, go shopping and lead a normal lifestyle. But she always talks about the bad, all the time. And, as you know, I'm very worried about her.

My husband almost immediately went to work, very tired, working for 12 hours, and we almost never see each other. A couple of hours before bedtime. We began to treat each other more tenderly in the new conditions. But the sex life does not suit us both for many reasons. Sometimes we just get in the way (we live with parents). But mostly I'm always in a bad mood.

And, finally, I am. I went to work. After a few months. But his son's constant illnesses, his father's tantrums, his mother's illness. I came to the state that the excitement became for me an ordinary condition. And even when I was alone, the state of anxiety gradually turned into a panic, although nothing happened.

In the end, I look at my life and understand that everything is fine. The baby grows, becomes an adult man, the husband at work has mastered, it became easier financially. Dad calmed down a little, my mother is stable. We just started to swear more often. And I'm tired. And you do not want anything, except peace.