My road to Steemfest: Confirmation of performance(YAY!!) and following this week theme "FEARS"

Drumroll!! I am going to Steemfest 3!
Drumroll goes on!!! My partner @hedac comes along with me!!! And I'm very excited and happy to confirm this !

I have noticed a sudden income of new followers just in case you're new to my feed, my name is Priscilla Hernandez and I'm a fantasy illustrator and singer-songwriter. Also that girl that hikes in fairy garments, love rats and fantasy things Hello!

My first "A road to steemfest" challenge post: Better late than never!

@anomadsoul started a weekly challenge #roadtosteemfest so all attendees can get to know each other a little bit better... I hadn't joined until making sure I was able to attend and thus this is also my confirmation. The challenge has to be a freewrite (no edits) too so I hope not to scatter too much. But first and foremost just wanted to confirm that YES! I'm attending to Steemfest in Krakow next early November, and YES! I will sing and perform for you. So yay! yes confirming... I'll make it to Steemfest this year! And looking forward to meet so many friends...
As you know 4 days ago it was announced that I was one of the winners of a free trip and ticket to Steemfest in the contest organized by @steemitblog. I was in fact and surprisingly I was the artist with the most votes for performing arts.

... so why had I been so silent until now? I feared even to reply to your congratulations until I was sure I could make it.
It was such a lovely compliment and I was so thrilled but

I FEARED

aaahhhhh Panicked face!

And this week's "A road to Steem fest challenge" theme is FEARS which is something that has stalled me last few years in general to the point my forthcoming and third album is called Fear no More. Sweet Irony! As I have been writing so many self encouraging songs yet I felt disappointed at my lack of courage!

I had already resigned to the idea of going a while back, I was not going to make it... of course I wanted to go but I had kind of self-boycotted myself because I was aware that even if winning one of the many contests (sometimes ticket, or travel) I was likely not able to afford the rest and less likely to afford a trip for @hedac to come with me. And that is the honest true I feared to travel alone. So there were several giveaways I saw like a child sees candy but not allowed myself to participate... I even plotted a video for the first ones that were made but never posted...

and yet I won this one... because some things are meant to be

Fear to travel alone

I have a tendency to get overwhelmed in airports (no fears of flying, just the transits, stations), having almost no sense of direction and very absent minded I've had lots of mishaps during my travels in the past. I have toured on USA, Germany and UK and have had my fair deal of travelling but also my fair of deal of incidents, until ten years ago or so I was robbed all my gear and cash just coming from a tour from the States... Cameras, laptop, soundcard, cash. It affected me and my confidence and little by little I got used to the safety of travelling always with my partner who is also part of the team of what I share and create here as he helps me in filming the video, taking photography and also in music production. So yes, "yidneth" is my project but "yidneth studio" is us both :).

So I won but I wasn't able to make the expense to bring us "both". So I plotted and looked for direct flights... itineraries with suitable hours... and I was so stressed that I couldn't see anything at all... I feared to accept something then to decline it, and I struggled to find a suitable plan. I am not going to make a life as travel agent. I kind of felt disappointed with myself... like almost two decades ago I was travelling alone to Germany and playing in bunkers with fellow musicians (including actual singer of Genesis) but yes... I'm that person that can get lost in a park as if in a forest... My compass is "broken" LOL sometimes it is hilarious but I do get anxious. Once I'm at the place I'm supposed to be and surrounded by my friends I'm fine, but some people fear planes....I fear airports.

So what If I accepted the money and then I couldn't find someone to stay with, or to move around with... what if I got lost in the middle of the transit... Fears are warnings and like @uniwhisp used to say on her shows they have sometimes a solid foundation as warnings. It is not unjustified in my case. Through the years it was found it is in fact a little electric glitch in my brain and there is a reason for it.

A storm in a teacup

But there comes a point where they are out of proportion...

I saw your votes, and I confess... I felt complimented and I worried and kind of trusted... I'm not going to win but I did.

And I FEARED I might disappoint so many if having to decline (though I am sure everyone could understand). So I went though the "Congrats", "see you soon" both grateful and honoured... and afraid.
Then I got determined to get myself there alone or however...
But I guess my brain had already tangled me in the fears tangle I was a bit "stalled"
A lot of people has been reassuring but it was a talk with @llfarms who quietly and clearly exposed the situation to me... Which I summarize as

-Pris... do you want to go?
and meet us?
-Of course... I do...
-Then say yes, we figure it out... We're here

@llfarms soothed me like the rat-whisperer and I think that was the point I was conscious I was coming.

And I want to say thanks to my @helpie and @thealliance family who I know are waiting to share hugs.

Fears of not finding a suitable fear within the budget and fear to run out of budget

Then tried to set it up, both sola or with @hedac .
Hector needed permission off work and this late time he was unsure if he could make it... ! So he was a yes/no/yes/no for a a couple of days...

And this part was hectic but I was determined but still I can summarize it in this picture...

And I want to say thanks to @roelandp who practically fixed in half an hour what I had been looking on a trillion pages all day... But what's ninja is that he was able to squeeze the budget to bring us both.
Sure I go now with not much pocket money and on very tight budget but feels exciting too (you can treat me with a coffee) but we don't expect many expenses and I get to go with my partner and with him along also one of the last wall of fears vanished...

Also another good thing is...
@hedac is the tech one that can handle the laptop, backing tracks, sound and with him, for me
I also know he's looking forward to meet the many friends we've made... don't forget it was Hector who kidnapped me to steemit even if he's not posting much. He will actually also co-perform with me. We are BOTH looking forward to meet you guys!

And I would go on and on and though it's against the freewrite rules I may come later (rushing to have dinner) to say proper thanks.

Sorry for the long read... so many fears...
I fear also the typos... I'm not used to post freewrites (you know over-thinker) and this is the second in a row! LOL

Bear no burden on your shoulders
keep on learning to be free
and Fear no More

I KNOW I am going to have an amazing time!!! SO THANKS STEEMIT.INC and @roelandp and all my friends and everyone who thought of me...

So some quick questions I have been asked over on discord....

Are you bringing your harp? **

No, it would require extra seat and flight case but I'm provided with a keyboard and I bring my low whistle flute and they will be very much in the fashion of the ones I used to stream live over here. My partner @hedac will join me controlling backing tracks and percussion. Intimate and hopefully magical!

When do you perform?

Officially Friday during the "Night of Steem" along with other talented steemian artists like @Katrina-ariel @Steembird @Edprivat @Greencross with @Enginewitty as as co-host. Some I already consider dear friends and it's an honour to share the stage with them. I say officially on Friday because I think there will be for sure more musical moments happening spontaneously. Fellow guitar player @camuel will do a conference and @meno from @helpie is also around. So as I have been called a bard before you can't know where musicians are going to jam, and join and improvise. So some celtic tunes might come with Cams and I challenge Meno for a duet of his song "Wait".

I also want to challenge to a co-jointed @openmic entry or something, let's brainstorm

Warning: As performer I tend to be on the "geek" side

And even if my set is going to be simple expect some fantasy element about it... after it's what I do, fantasy music and art.

My fufunchis plush ratties are coming too so expect some muppet rats reporting what are we up to! @llfarms is also bringing a pig as representation of @pechichemena and I bet the muppet fufunchis and pig are going to be epic...
I will miss some of the dear friends I've made on Steemit like @paintingangels @pechichemena @lindahas @d-vine @carrieallen @snook and so so many but know somehow I know we'll meet when the time is right.

Excited to meet @meno @llfarms @evecab @elcr @katrina-ariel @enginewitty @camuel @gmuxx @luzcypher @derangedvisions @vladivostok @aggroed @rhondak and so many! I am not sure who's coming and who's not and that's why I'm missing so many mentions too! Need to catch up now!

And looking forward to make new friends...

And the morals of the story... is that

Some things are meant to be

and I'm really HAPPY TO GO!!! And going to sleep soundly today... Thanks for support! Let's share a magical time!

Who's coming? rise your hands and drop your comment!