My friendship tanked but I buried the treasure
Choosing to celebrate the life of passed loved ones has me thinking about how I also celebrate past friendships.
I am a serial monogamist when it comes to friendship. Okay, that's an overstatement, but I do have one very close friend at a time and I have had many falling outs resulting from moving away from depth in those friendships. Generally speaking, the falling outs are epic in emotional scale (I love hard) but extraordinarily low in drama. After the most recent, my bitter ex-friend accused me of building walls that never come back down. They meant they believe I am unwilling to reconcile. With this friend, I am unwilling to reconcile. I have extremely good reason, though. This individual tried to bankrupt me out of jealousy. Seriously. Relationship over.
With other friends, I have worked hard to find a post-bestie balance. Sometimes the relationship is not recoverable (see above), but more often it is. In fact, the above is the only relationship I never intend to recover despite that I built it on love, compassion and open communication. It died the moment my friend chose to see me as an enemy instead of speaking to me with the same respect I afforded them during the week long war they waged on my heart.
And yet - I will still remember and celebrate the good times.
We all fall off the wagon. The value of our relationships can be carried forward and reinvested in the currency of positivity. Good is often obscured by bad, but it is not erased. With this friend, I choose to focus less on the demise of our trust and more on the waves we made together in the friendship pool. I am happier for it.
We say "It's impossible to fix a broken cup". I guess this is the case )
All the best!
I love that phrase!
Just curious - Did you used to write somewhere else before you joined Steemit? Or what did/do you do for a living? Just realized that we don't really know anything about you. Maybe an "Introduce yourself" post would be cool for us to read!
Yes, I write many places. I have an introduce yourself post here: [https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@honeyscribe/new-platform-new-identity-a-girl-has-no-name]
I'm very much enjoying stepping away from my life here. :) The truth is you know as much about me as the others I work with do--just different parts of my life I can't otherwise share.
I didn't know that you can be a serial monogamist @honeyscribe but still I like that you remained positive in the end!
First time I've seen this expression too )
Really? It's all over the U.S.! Well, at least where I've lived.
LOL
I think it's smart to remember the good times you shared and not get bogged down with negative feelings.
Yes!
@honeyscribe - Lgaga sang "trust is like a mirror you can fix it but still see the crack in the ..reflection.
I understand you in being a monogamist in friendship - you must have had bad experiences .. I think as we grow up it gets harder to find friends who don't get jealous specially with women. I don't know with you but I could easily get along with men than women, men don't notice and compare what you wear or the way you do your hair like women do and men are not nosy about what you are up to. I do have many friends, a few best friends but more than my fingers so maybe they're not a few but they're all very special in many ways. Some are for hanging out, some for sharing down moments and looking for comforts and some for seeking financial advice. They all have one thing in common, they all have positive out look in life. I love them to death that I think if its time for one of them to go - I'll cry a river.
I hope you find people you resonate with who'll be the friend that you are to them, too and may they abound.
Thank you! What I have chosen moving forward is to try to have more friendships than one intense one. It is difficult to remain close with women without the poison's of society creeping in (body image, etc). This jealousy was essentially a popularity contest. To be honest, I've never been seen as popular before, so it was quite an experience!
@honeyscribe - appropriate word - poison
I can relate- when the green eyed monster possesses a friend
one will have to expect the "ex" word getting attached to it later on.
I hope your new chapter of friendship becomes colorful and happy for you!
Thank you! I wish happy relationships for you as well. :)
gracias! ^ ^
I've enjoyed the last several posts of yours about cherishing and remembering the good times. Thanks for the reminder @honeyscribe. Upvoted and followed :)
Thank you @randyclemens! I'm checking out your work now.