Miss. Opinionated : Guys that grind my gears!
4 kinds of guys that really grind my gears!
The chances are, if I catch on to this kind of behaviour from a guy early on, I'll probably be gone with the wind. No one should have to 'put up' with repulsive behaviour. In the best case, you learn to love these traits of your partner, and in the worst, you 'put up' with it. There are of course certain things you should never put up with in any long term relationship, things such as lying, cheating, emotional blackmail, abuse and the list goes on. Here are 4 kinds of behaviours that really turn me off that aren't quite so conventional. Have a look and see if this identifies with you or someone you know!
The gaming entrepreneur
First let me clarify, I don't think there is anything wrong with gaming. It's a perfectly valid hobby and a great way to socialise. But what I hate the most is when gaming becomes a form of escapism from real life responsibilities such as working a job, or planning a career. Sure, there are professional gamers out there who are dedicated to being the best they can be and even making a living, but i'm not talking about those people! I'm talking about the ones who spend all day grinding MMORPG's, going raiding, farming etc. It's as if their virtual achievements give them a sense of accomplishment that eclipses the importance of real life responsibilities. |
The Pretty Boy
There's caring about your appearance, and then there's being vain. I don't know what's up with society nowadays, but I see more and more guys wearing make-up, going to the gym to get big muscles, or suffering from eating disorders trying to get ridiculously thin. I don't like it one bit. The emphasis on appearance appeals to teenage fan girls with fleeting tastes. Not exactly ideal. Furthermore, too much narcissism gives the impression that the person is trying to cover up certain things they feel insecure about, ironically, it draws more attention to their imperfections and doesn't serve much purpose other than boosting their own ego. Clean, in shape and lose the vanity + make up! |
Emotionally Fragile
Most of us have experienced heartbreak. It sucks. But we get over it and through the experience we become better people, and know better what we want out of a relationship. The process of getting over heartbreak and moving on can take quite some time, it's natural and there's nothing wrong with taking your time, finding your own footing before you get back out there and start dating again. What I really don't appreciate, is when a guy pines over his ex-girlfriend(s) and dominates the conversation with too much talk about his past conquests. Sometimes, they can even get emotional! I'm sorry, but I refuse to be someone's spare tire, or rebound. There is some sentimental value in emotional resonance, but please let it be about you and your current partner. Put the rest behind you, and look forward to pastures new. |
Insecure, jealous and controlling
Caring too much is not an excuse for not trusting your partner. And trust means letting them having friends of the opposite sex, and the freedom to socialise responsibly. I could understand the concern if your partner is a bitch in heels down at the bar every night "with her girlfriends". But the majority of girls are not like that, too much control is suffocating and shows the lack of trust between you and your partner. Trust is one of the pillars of a relationship, if your partner has chosen you, then you must trust that they will act responsibly on their own, and without your intervention. Repression is not a good thing, it gives rise to people acting in the opposite way in response. The fact that you impose unreasonable control on a girl can lead to a self fulfilling prophecy of her actually meeting other people because she's fed up with your dictatorship style of treatment. |
So, what you're saying is : Don't play games, don't care about your appearance, don't be emotional, and don't care about what the girl is up to?
Not at all. I've found that the people I find most attractive understand what it means to do things in moderation. It's not a black or white situation, most of the time it's a grey area. Most of the time, it's an issue when a person takes these things too far and it becomes too extreme. If you're one of these people that take things to the extreme, then just know that Miss. Opinionated would have none of it and would be out of your life quicker than you know it.
I wish that I had your maturity when I was your age!
From what i've gathered, you've had some toxic relationships in your younger days leading to some unhappy times. I'm pretty sure that free thinkers will go through this at some point in their lives and come out of it better off. I actually find people with straight forward lives really quite boring!
Same here!
Great article, but I am going to play a little devil's advocate here and represent for the men. I agree with your post, except for the last bit...
As a guy, I have never once wanted to be friends with some chick. Maybe I am just non typical, but I doubt it. The only chicks who I have ever wanted to hang out with 1 on 1 in person, was for well sexual reasons. Most dudes if they are straight, are the same way in my opinion. Most guys that are stuck in the "friends zone" with some chick, they actually want to bang that girl but don't have the balls to come out and say it. So they pretend like they are just friends to get close enough to one day act on their feelings.
If my fiancee starting hanging out all the time with some straight guy, some new friend, I would def be asking questions and be worried. I don't think that is unjustified or being controlling either it's just common sense, because we are guys and we know how our minds work; both of them.
Peace and keep up the good work, but remember when she says's "He is just a friend"... he ain't.
I guess you definitely can't speak for me as most of my close friends are all women and I don't hang out with them because I would want to sleep with them. I greatly value their energies, usually much more than most man around me. Yet, I sure do have monumentally great friends of both genders and feel very content with that. It actually gives me a window of visions in other worlds all together, the one offered by women's perspectives as well as the ones offered by a great deal of different men out there, not only the ones you describe. Sorry, I seriously don't fit the bill. All for one and one for all! Namaste :)
Same here, but I have to admit that I don't mind at all if something happens, somehow! lol
I can only agree, when the time is ripe, if ever. Namaste :)
Yeah my comment was in general terms. There is always exceptions to the rule.
LOL. There's a lot of TRUTH in that comment.
Bizzzzzmarkie!!! That song is fun to sing after a few drinks.
& I pretty much agree.
What if the guy is a moose?
I do understand some people don't believe that people of the opposite sex can truly be friends in a 1 on 1 situation. And this is exacerbated by the fact that most people are too afraid to be straight up about their true intentions when making friends with people they fancy. But I do think this is partly down to the problem of the individual giving off the wrong signals and showing others the wrong qualities. I'm sure you could appreciate having a female friend who really resonates with you, and at the same time you didn't find physically attractive at all?
Yeah I mean I have female friends in the sense of other truth seekers who I interact with online. Let's be honest here though, flip the situation. If I started going out to dinner with some other girl and hanging out 1 on 1 "as a friend", I am sure my fiancee would probably turn my indoor "herb" garden into a pile of leaves and dirt, and maybe even stick my ps4 in the bathtub. I can only imagine the types of arguments that would ensue. Even if the chick was not attractive at all, it would cause major problems. I just don't see how in a real world setting this would be possible. Theoretically yes, and on steemit in a blog, yeah your premise makes sense, but when put into action in real life, men and women both get jealous when their significant other starts hanging out with someone of the opposite sex.
Open, pseudo-exclusive relationships for the win
@titusfrost, I was pleasantly surprised with her points (as I was expecting her to write some feminist crap or other spoiled nonsense), but I also had a problem with the part you did, but I want to focus more specifically on this:
And my reasoning is here:
https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=1082909.msg17617281#msg17617281
https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=1082909.msg17621871#msg17621871
These are damned facts (unspeakable, politically incorrect truths).
Hey uh? Not sure what you are talking about? Mind elaborating below because the links you sent were to some forum board with many topics.
Peace.
You need to read the links. It is a deep topic. She brought up the point about whether women need to be repressed or not. And I am arguing they do, for their own happiness and for the success of the culture and to prevent enslavement of ourselves. But this is a very deep topic.
And if you are a man who only wants sex and not to rear offspring, then you are enslaving yourself.
Your writing is superb, please keep writing articles like this. I started following you a few days ago and several things you write have a lot of meaning and value for a lot of people.
Also worth mentioning are the comics, it is great to see someone put this kind of time and effort into their writing. You even take the time to translate some of your articles into multiple languages so everyone can read it, it makes it great for the community and gives everyone a chance to enjoy your work.
Keep up the writing,
~ @Timbo
timbo, thank you for taking the time to read some of my work. More than anything, I really appreciate comments from people like you who feel there is some value in what I write about, it's a vote of confidence to me and gives me more motivation to keep writing.
Most of the time I try to write in both Chinese and English, and depending on the topic, I'll be better at writing one or the other. Because I spent my first years as an adult outside of my home country, it's actually easier for me to write certain topics like these in English. Rest assured, i'm happy for people to translate my work, and I'll continue to try post dual language posts as much as often as long as time permits!
Wow, probably one of the best replies I have seen yet, thank you for taking the time to do so.
The insight you have given me to your work only makes me appreciate it even more. I am humbled and honored to have encouraged you to produce more work and the gratitude you have shows through your messages.
May you have a wonderful and peaceful day,
~ @Timbo
Insightful article! Thanks!
You're welcome!
I also keep these kind of feminine qualities as far away from me as I can. Good for you, good for us all! Thanks for sharing this quality post once again. All for one and one for all! Namaste :)
So, I guess what you're saying is don't be a cartoon?
I imagine a guy that had a maybe 25% intensity of those characteristics would be incredibly attractive to you.
Out of interest, what would you see as the polar opposite of these caricatures?
You are right, I prefer these traits in moderation. And 25% is a good level of intensity for each. On the other hand, some of the polar opposites are also quite unattractive too.
For instance, instead of a person spending time relaxing and playing games, they would spend all day just thinking about making money; I would find that quite soul destroying and I certainly couldn't imagine latching onto someone like that either.
The polar opposite to a pretty boy, is the neanderthal which I would actually prefer, again with moderation. There's looking rugged, unshaven but hygienic, then there's people who don't wash. That's a pretty big turn off.
One of the hardest traits to get the right balance of is emotional expression. Some men are really hard to crack, and seem to live with a hard outer shell seemingly unaffected by anything emotional. It's this quality that makes them some what mysterious and how they give off the air of a 'bad guy' making them some what more attractive. At the same time, someone completely emotionally impenetrable would be hard to form a close bond with because i'd feel like they didn't really open up to me and share their deepest thoughts.
There is a reason you don't know exactly what you want. Read my other comment on this blog page and the linked information. Pay special attention to the fact that you are hardwired by nature for hypergamy.
Hey not fair the cartoons kind of look like me.
it's always a great read/post from sweetsssj !
Love gaming, used to spend all day and night gaming. Those were the days!
Just like eating should be. Everything in moderation.
成谜和爱好一线之差。