Why Men DON'T Want To Get Married Anymore.

in #relationship8 years ago (edited)

Marriage is becoming less and less common. Many Millennials are completely against it. While getting married and having a career USED to be the common steps to becoming an "adult". These are less relevant as time goes on.

Married Men Are Looked Down Upon

It used to be, If you were a married man, You were smart. You were strong, And you have a woman completely dedicated to you. You married her you DID THE right thing! It makes you a gentleman. Getting married means you have someone to keep your house clean, The children are taken care of and your meals cooked. Marriage was the only option, And if you never got married, You were looked at like some poor helpless disease that is so desirable no woman wanted to take care of you.

These days, Married men look like losers. They gave up their freedom. In the media, they are often portrayed as miserable And picked on. The woman took over the house, giving him a little amount of space. Look at him! He's "Whipped!". Deep down he knows he's not "NEEDED." She has a job. She can completely take care of herself.

That's not how most marriages are, But a young man was growing up seeing that. Then when his friends have negative beliefs on marriage too, That just rubs off on him.

What are the benefits of a man getting married? I'm not saying women need to go back to doing all the chores, And all the cooking. But there are more benefits to marriage when you are a woman then when you are a man. Or at least what old studies have confirmed. Some studies claim that men have more to gain in these new relationships. So we could see a shift in thinking in the future.

Marriages Cause Loss Of Friends

Marriage doesn't mean you ditch all your friends. But part of marriage means you drift away from friends a little bit. Men and Women have friends, But men usually take this a little bit more harshly than women.
This can cause men not to want to get married.

Single life is improved

Some people choose not to date much at all! Being single has a lot of perks these days. Back then, Being single was frowned upon. It also was difficult to survive on your own. But with this new sharing economy, you can have almost everything you want While remaining single.

We have technology that will enable to have a one night stand whenever you want; You can order food from your phone and have it delivered. There are even cuddling services out there! You can pay someone to cuddle with you. Here is an article about professional a cuddler
Being married means you have to look out for the needs of both yourself and the person you are married too. This can be difficult, and many people see it not worth the effort.

Marriage is expensive

A wedding can be extremely expensive! Most people are already in a lot of debt because of the rising cost of education. On top of that many people are having trouble getting careers with that degree they worked so hard to pursue. They tend to make their job the priority.

It's easy to ignore or overlook marriage; You can date someone without marrying them and still enjoy the benefits of marriage. What is the point of going through with it?

The average wedding costs 27,000. Many people don't' see it as worth it. College is the new step to adulthood, Also going out and getting your first full-time job!

People would rather spend their 27,000 on a new car, A down payment on a home. Or another expense. Not just throw a big party for a day.

Reproductive Rights

With the new technology of birth control, It's easy for men to have sex with a woman without any consequences. And with Cohabitation increasing. Marriage becomes more irrelevant. You can have sex with the person and live with them. What is the point of the next step?

One of the reasons men aren't getting married as often, Is because they can take all the benefits from marriage, Without having to carry all the responsibility.

There are a lot of reasons to why men don't care to get married anymore, Which is funny with all the studies proving that men benefit more. It's interesting to see what will happen with typical relationships in the future and how they will affect our ability to commit to one person. Or if that will even be a thing.

Thank you Pexels for the photos

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What's the point? TAXES, doh.
Also making a commitment is something that is worth something for some people, still.

I love this! That is another reason I"d like to get married. I want to save money.

hehe. yeah lol, aziz rules but the point is fair :D save money, get a hubby!

Hahha Yes!!!

Ha $27,000 for a wedding lol. My wedding only cost me about $5,000 last October but that's because I live in Utah where marriages are cheap. I think you are missing the fact that a lot of men just want to sleep around and not have to get divorced, divorces are expensive for most men you have to divide all the assets. You could also be missing the fact that the U.S. has the highest divorce rate in the world and maybe they don't want to go through that because they've seen their parents get divorced. Most countries look down at you like it's a bad thing to get divorced and if you have sex before marriage but here now everyone teaches their kids that it's ok so now there is no need to get married for most men if you can have all the fun without all the hassle of paying divorce costs.

I live in Utah too! I had no idea that marriages are cheaper here! I knew they are more ... common LOL.

I agree with you! Men are afraid of divorce which is a perfectly valid reason to wait.
I love that you only spent 5,000! What are your money saving tips? lOl.

Oh lol you live in Utah too! My wife did most of the planning but we got a deal at The Old Meetinghouse on Highland drive, it was only like $3,500 there for the reception, food, cake, and ceremony. The DJ was like $500. Then $900 wedding dress paid by mother in-law. And our honeymoon was all paid by my father! I suggest looking around at different venues if you are looking for a good deal. I know Red Butte garden was expensive for weddings like $9,000-$10,000. We just looked around at a lot of different places, The Old Meetinghouse I think was a good deal because it is an old church building maybe? Not as popular of a choice for most.

Wow thats smart!
Thats something I'll definitely consider! Thank you :)

Great article @kaylinart! It is easy to see this "downward" trend, if you will. It is truly saddening that the media along with peer pressure has so much effect on each and every one of us. I am very proud to call my partner my wife and mother of our child. Without my marriage in this day and age, It is hard to think about where I would be in life...I can promise that it would not be a very happy place.
Saludos!

This is so sweet :)
It makes me sad too! I hope it changes. I feel like if we select the correct person we will see really great benefits.

I agree totally, waiting for that right person is the key. You HAVE to be sure, ya know? It can be difficult, but the happiness you experience is well worth it. My wife and I are what you refer to as "high school sweet hearts". Haha We've been married for 3 and a half years, but together for 9...and I've never been happier.

Aww thats so sweet! I love it when I see couples who met in high school hehe.

I think those reasons that were mentioned why men refuse to get married are just alibis. The truth is they don't like commitment especially if they enjoying a lot from being a bachelor. There's always time for everything and when it comes it cannot be denied, getting married is one of those things.

I agree with that! I eventually want to get married one day, sure it's a "piece of paper" But I like knowing he's that committed. I feel like the experience makes things more official. Without it I might not date at all. It may just not seem as worth it to me. I may be a little old fashioned. But I don't feel comfortable having multiple partners.

Yeah, having a multiple partner is not good for woman because it might ruin your image. Being committed is very important qualification of husband because being married is not like eating a food that when you feel hot you'll just spit it.

If you want to test a man if he's ready to get married, try to convince him to stay inside he's house doing house chores and avoid out for a few days, no contact with friends and peers. If he can sustain such without getting bored, he might prepared to get married.

I LOVE that comparison " Eating a food that when you feel hot you'll spit it."
I also don't want multiple partners because of diseases. It also seems really nasty to me in general.

Hahha I love that "test" you made. I feel like husbands can definetly have a balance. I tend to like my alone time. So there will probably be days I'd lock him out of the house and tell him to go see his friends hahah!

ha...ha.. I laughed when saw sentence "Eating a food that when you feel you'll spit it". It.s true... . Once we got married, our world will change forever, I ever saw quote " You want get a real adventure? So, get married !".

I must check those cuddling services!

You should! I laughed so hard when I heard of them! It's crazy that they exist.

$27,000 is a lot of fargin money. @ 5% interest that grows into $75,000 after 20 years. Add a few ticks to the interest rate and it'll blow your wedding dress off :)

Holy Cow I didn't think about it that way! I would never spend 27,000 on a wedding. It's just crazy.

nice article. interesting to read. i enjoy it. im thinking now if i will get married too lol. hehehhe upvote for this

Thank you! I feel like only a small portion of us will actually get married .

Men are no longer married for two reasons, they gave the debt to those who have been in the past, or do not want to repay , since it is connected with the inner workings , with the awareness and the change in themselves, their habits and character. It is always a painful process , is the process of breaking up the old and the new growing confidence.
Мужчины больше не женятся по двум причинам, они отдали долги тем, кому были должны в прошлом, или наоборот не хотят отдавать долги, так как это связано с внутренней работой, с осознанием и изменением себя, своих привычек и характера. Это всегда болезненный процесс, это процесс ломки старого и выращивания нового в себе.

I'm not sure I understand what you are saying!

@kaylinart With Divorcees now equal to or even out numbering the married, marriage doesn't make sense anymore. Ring or NO Ring, if your are truly committed you will be truly committed, and if not, then you will do your thing no matter what, Man or Woman, it doesn't matter. Yes there are some very pleasant things about being married or in a committed relationship, just as there are some cons too, for both parties. Anyway, my personal choice has been not to get married, although the mother of my children does have 2 wedding dresses and rings. Go figure, not really sure which one of us is the nuttier one!
full $teem ahead!
@streetstyle
ps, and both those sets of dresses and rings are from me and it still hasn't happened>

I agree with you on that! But I feel like a lot of women like the extra level of commitment. It makes us feel better :)
Wow your girlfriend has 2 wedding dresses and rings!? Are you sure she's okay with your stance on not getting married? Lol!

Losing friends and getting married are not related. It's about men preferring to spend time with a lover over a friend.
The reason noone get's married is government and church + people are generally smarter, more liberal. I don't need or want any of them to know my love is true. And all the legal stuff... no!
What are those studies you keep referring to?

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