HOW TO STOP BEING THE NICE GUY | UNLEASHING THE ALPHA

The next time you’re with a group of friends, look around a little bit. What do you see? Chances are you’ll see the MR NICE GUY. He might even be staring back at you when you look in the mirror.

Every male on the planet falls into worlds of three groups. These groups are the

1. ALPHA MALE
2. THE BETA MALES AND
3. THE NICE GUYS.
   
   Where ever you find yourself as a male, you can transition to become the Alpha. A lot of guys believe that you must be born this way, but this is like saying you must be born to be a good football player. Sure some guys are naturally inclined to be an alpha because of how they grew up just like same ways some guys are naturally better at gaining muscles or playing football.

In life, they will always be someone better than you, they’ll always be a guy who is more alpha, who is better looking and who has more money but that should never stop you from trying to become the best that you could be and to quit being the nice guy.

The truth is a lot of guys fall into the nice guy category even without realizing it.

The main belief that all nice guys have is that “If I’m just nice enough, the universe will give me exactly what I want.” But as you already know, this isn’t how the real world works. In fact, it is quite the opposite. The nicer you are, the more people will take advantage of you.

Before we continue, I want you to understand that this doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk to attract girls.

In psychology, there is something called COMPENSATION and this is when you go to one extreme to avoid the other.

When a guy transit from being a nice guy to an alpha, a lot of guys make a mistake of compensating, and they go from being a pushover nice guy to being a jerk.

A lot of nice guys are everywhere, you can find them at the restaurant, bars, school, even among your friends. A lot of them carry it to their 40s and even 50s without ever realizing what is wrong.

Every nice guy is unique but there are some common traits they all share

The most defining trait of every nice guy is “NEED FOR APPROVAL” he is always seeking approval from everyone he comes across in life. At a core, everything a nice guy does is used to gain validation from somebody else.

Another trait of a nice guy is “TRYING TO FIX EVERYTHING” even if nobody asks him to. A nice guy is identified as a giver but unlike an alpha who gives just to give with no strings attached, the nice guy gives only to make others love him.

Another trait of a nice guy is that he is “ALWAYS TRYING TO AVOID CONFLICT”

Let’s look at BOB! Bob is a typical example of a nice guy; he works at the grocery store. Bob says he loves his job; he does everything he can to avoid upsetting people. His customer comes in one day, and tries to return contents they stole from the store for money. Now it is painfully obvious what the customer is trying to do. But instead of reporting the issue, Bob returns the items because he doesn’t want to upset anyone. So the next day, Bob’s manager finds out what happened insists the company lost thousands of dollars because of it and Bob is fired on the spot. Bob entered his car and went away. He doesn’t understand why he was punished for being so nice to everybody and not upsetting the customer.

The point here is that a nice guy will do anything to avoid conflict even at his own expense.

Another trait of a nice guy is “HIDING HIS FLAWS AND MISTAKES” and his also notorious for “HOLDING IN HIS FEELINGS”

One of the defining traits if a nice guy is “BEING COMFORTABLE RELATING MORE TO GIRLS THAN GUYS.”

BOB is a guy who will seat with three girls at the restaurant discussing how BILLY is no good for them.

BOB is the kind of guy that girls will talk to if there are trying to find out if BILLY is a player? When asked, BOB will say
BILLY is a player and he would also talk about how BILLY doesn’t know how to treat girls and if only these girls can find a nice guy like BOB, they will be set. So many guys do little things they don’t even realize make them look like a nice guy.

Imagine BOB was with JENNY and they went to see a movie, BOB the nice guy keeps looking at JENNY every minute and notices she looks angry or bored, BOB keeps asking her if she is angry or bored every single minute not realizing that from the girls perspective, he looks incredibly needy because he is basing his mood and his happiness on whether or not JENNY is having a good time. Most nice guys base their mood on a girl’s own, and they can’t be happy if the girl isn’t happy.

The most popular word you hear a nice guy says is “WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING NICE?”

The truth is that there is nothing wrong with being nice to people but the main problem is with beliefs. Unlike the nice guy, the alpha male isn’t nice to other people because he is seeking validation. The alpha is easy to get angry and he speaks his mind even if he insults someone.

But let me ask you this, who will you rather have as a friend?

THE ALPHA WHO CAN COME UP AS RUDE BUT HONEST? OR THE NICE GUY WHO IS NATURALLY DISHONEST BECAUSE HE ALWAYS AVOID CONFLICT?

The reality is that since the nice guy doesn’t want to upset anyone, he is a bit DISHONEST, SECRETIVE, MANIPULATIVE, CONTROLLING AND PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.

So now that we know the traits of the nice guy, it is time to put an end to this belief system.

SO NOW WHO IS THE ALPHA AND WHAT MAKES HIM THE DOMINANT LEADER

The defining traits of the alpha are a “STRONG SENSE OF SELF” through experience, the alpha has discovered who he truly is and he has no problem accepting his flaws

The second trait of the alpha is “INTEGRITY” and integrity is simply doing what is right even if it is not expected by the society of loved ones.

The most defining trait of the alpha is “MAKING SURE HIS NEEDS ARE MET” above anyone else. Not just the give, give, give every time. The alpha makes sure his needs are meant and then carter for others. A basic example of this is taking time for yourself to improve your career or some other aspect of your life.

The fourth trait of a alpha is “BEING A LEADER”

The most defining trait of an alpha is “EXPRESSING HIS FEELINGS CLEARLY AND DIRECT”

The alpha also gives, but he doesn’t do it to be validated in the eyes of others.

The main thing that separates the ALPHA from the NICE GUY is BOUNDARIES, and he is never afraid to handle conflicts.

To transit from being a nice guy to an alpha you must change your beliefs. Not just how you view yourself but how you view the world.

Disclaimer
all images here gotten from google through this link
https://www.google.co.id/search?q=alpha+male&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjA4KvTqanaAhUBXlMKHTW9BCwQ_AUICigB&biw=1366&bih=588