Rant: You kinda did this to yourself - fat people edition
The other day I went on a hike up a mountain to a waterfall. You may remember the story about my dog having a tough time with this. After the initial push in the blazing sun, there was plenty of tree-cover and of course the presence of the water in the middle leading to the waterfall made it a pretty easy trek.
There is another part to this story outside of my dog struggling to walk 5km and to be fair, since her legs are only 5 inches long or so, this is understandable. I want to focus on another aspect of the trip and this may come across as a little mean.
There were 4 of us (and my dog) on the trip. A guy and his wife, myself, and one other person. We are all more than 40 years old so to suggest we aren't exactly spring chickens would be a fair assessment. One of the people on this trip was a relatively obese woman who i will just call Judy, even though, obviously, this is not her name.
source
I didn't really expect our larger companion to do very well but I admired her for getting out of the house and having a go at it. As someone who got to the beginning stages of being a fatty I can relate to how this happens to someone but I think because I turned it around I get frustrated when I see them continue to engage in the habits that got them to this size in the first place.
On our way to the park we stopped to get some road snacks. I got a couple of take away waffles (i know, not exactly health food) and some fruit. My friend got a big bag of baked pork things and a spicy dip that it goes in. Judy, got 5 pieces of fried chicken and a big bag of fried bananas.
We were using ours as snacks for fuel on the trail but Judy consumed all of her snacks before we ever got out of the car. I don't know if you are a sports scientist, but a five piece bucket followed by half a kilo of battered and fried bananas isn't exactly what they use in the Olympics. She washed this down with 2 cans of coca cola.
I'm just going to focus on calories here:
5 pieces of fried chicken = 150 x 5 = 750 calories
2 12 oz coca cola cans = 140 x 2 = 280 calories
Fried bananas (appx 2 cups) = 330 x 2 = 660 calories
Total = 1690 calories
This is nearly the amount of calories that a person who is trying to lose weight should have in an entire day. Let's keep in mind that Judy already had breakfast before arriving although she didn't detail what that was.
source
Needless to say, Judy struggled almost from the word go. She had to stop frequently and I am not faulting someone who is overweight from not being able to do sprints... or any physical activity for that matter. I will say that I find it extremely annoying that someone will tell me stories about how they are on a diet while they are shoving fried food into their face. I held my tongue because I don't want to hurt her feelings... but someone needs to. I weigh nearly 200 lbs but she is likely twice my size.
She did not finish the trail, she made it about 1.5 kilometer in and then sat down to wait for us to return. She didn't even get to see the waterfall
If you are overweight, you need to recognize that the biggest problem in your life likely ISN'T the lack of exercise. It is your diet. Some of the world's best trainers will always say that fitness is 80% diet and 20% exercise and none of them will suggest fried stuff with coca cola as anything other than a very rare indulgence.
Perhaps it seems like I am being a bit mean here, but someone needs to be mean to Judy's face or she is never going to change. I don't know her well enough to be that guy. When I got up to 106 kg about a year ago, a friend of mine who hadn't seen me in a while told me the truth.... "dude, you are fucking fat now... what happened?" I laughed it off but it stuck in my mind and later I did something about it.
I don't feel bad for Judy: She has to know what she is doing to herself and simply doesn't want to change anything. She is a nice woman but this behavior on the way to a trail hike was just disturbing to me. I'm sorry if some of you out there are fat also but unless there is some sort of hormone disorder, it is extremely likely the responsible party is the person in the mirror.
What I find baffling in Judy is the food selection and timing more than anything.
I'll preface this with the fact that I am also fat (working on being marginally less so), and that I've never gone on a hike (yet). However i have a friend that hikes and his interest made me want to look in to it more and research some stuff a bit as well as gain info from them.
Even before I started looking in to it, let alone after, I didn't know what foods exactly to pack, but never in a million years would I say that those foods were good to bring on a hike let alone eat before the hike. like just that alone makes me wonder the thought process here.
The exact reasons why people are fat vary a bit from person to person (Although i will agree with you here that this is a "you did this to yourself" thing)
To me it seems like a mindset problem for her. Meaning, something has to change the mindset to change the body. It's one of those things like "Lose weight, diet, excercize" are just words, and you're like "yeah that's right that's what i should be doing it" but once your mindset changes those words become instinctive like "all i have to do is diet and excersize, which is the stuff i've been saying this whole time, but now..."
What changes the mindset? While i'm no expert, it's the kinda revalations you get by doing something. Fighting through lack of motivation, but through regiment and being rewarded by the result. Sometimes it's something that just in your mind says "I don't want to be like this anymore" which could be brought on by a bunch of things
Nothing you can really do for someone like that except be there and support them when they're ready to make the move.
Hell, who knows, maybe this moment was the wakeup call she needed?
awesome response. For me, I didn't even realize that I had gained so much weight. I knew I was bigger, but my wakeup call was my friend who had not seen me in years. It doesn't happen overnight.
I think with all of the diet options that we have available now (for me it was simply eliminating most carbs, i ate a crap-ton of meat) and totally eliminating sugar and switching to a low-carb beer.
I lost nearly 20 kg but now exercise a lot more than i did before. I wasn't really capable of much exercise at 106 kg.
Judy, i'm afraid to broach the subject with her, because I don't know her very well. I do see her at the pub on a regular basis sucking down 6 ciders though and that is also one of the worst things you can do.
If it was a wakeup call for her, I don't know if it will trump her love for food and drink and you know what? If that makes her happy and she is willing to accept the consequences of being fat then I am not going to try to talk her out of it.... it is her life afterall. I just just like for someone to talk about how they are on a diet and then suck down 2000 calories for a "snack"... What would she have eaten if she wasn't on this diet? haha
I don't know that Judy, and of course it seems quite likely that she is doing this to herself by what you wrote. However, putting on weight doesn't just happen overnight. And it doesn't happen to everyone. The main issue nowadays is that more than 70% of all people lack iodine in their bodies. And I am not talking about the nasty iodine that's added to table salt either. Some people have a healthy metabolism (or what some would call fast) and others (the majority) don't, because of this lack.
Again: eating habits have something to do with it of course, but there are also people (we all know at least one of those) who can eat pretty much anything and never gain as much as a gram.
The issue of weight gain is often coming from other underlying issues. Someone with a lot of weight, is often times depressed, unhappy with something or life in general, or other issues. By thinking that everyone responds the same to 'the truth' you could do more damage. It worked for you when someone said you had gotten fat, but not everyone is the same. Most people (if not all) who are overweight know that they are. They don't need anyone to tell them. In fact, I know many people who would do quite the opposite when someone would tell them they're fat.
A lot of people use food as an escape. It makes them feel good.
So if someone would tell them they're fat, they might just nod, go home and indulge in some ice-cream to make them feel better. Of course, only to feel worse after...
My personal story: I always thought I was fat when I wasn't. When I look at pictures of myself, or when I found some old clothes from that time, I would always think: 'What the hell was I thinking? I fit in those?' When I fell pregnant with my eldest, my relationship with my husband went from 'not perfect' to downright bad. I left him when I was three months pregnant. I only gained about 10 kg. of weight throughout my pregnancy and this was pretty much all gone right after the birth. But then there I was: alone with my child, and this was so much different from how I would have expected it or wanted it. I fell into a deep depression and to be honest, she saved my life. I felt abandoned and alone, even though I had her, and it all began when I would buy snacks for visitors that didn't come as frequently as I would have hoped. I used food as an escape. Within a year I gained 35 kg.
I was going to the gym, but the eating habits only slowly changed. Then one day, I weighed myself, and saw that the scales went over 100 kg.! That, to me, was my rock bottom. I told myself: this is it, I'm done, I have to change. It wasn't anyone else who pushed me. It was me.
I started going to the gym 3 to 5 times a week, and if I didn't go, I felt rotten. Addicted to the gym is still better than addicted to food though.
Then one day, I was going a really intensive group training that I loved and had been doing for months, twice a week. An old 'friend' and colleague from my college years walked in with his colleague. They were both cops. He greeted me, and then turned to his friend and said something and laughed. He thought I hadn't seen it, but I knew he had made a remark about me and how much weight I had gained. Now, not long before this, this would have sent me home nearly in tears and binge eating. But this time, I knew he was an ignorant ass and I turned to start the training.
And guess what? Within 10 minutes, this guy had his tongue on his knees and his face was bright red. He couldn't keep up!
That made me feel a bit better about myself since I had no issues.
Halfway in the hour, the two of them left, exhausted. Now, that made me laugh. I might have still been overweight, but I sure as hell was a lot fitter than two police officers who should be fit as a standard.
So yes, diet is important, but personally I believe that once someone starts a workout routine, the food will follow. When I look at myself: when I am very active, I tend to slowly start eating healthier. If I work out more, I even start to dislike fatty foods and sugar. Somehow the body regulates this. I mean, people can eat a healthy salad and do a work-out an hour later. But if you shove down a big bowl of spaghetti bolognese it's a completely different story, isn't it?
Now, with that ex-colleague, if all people would react like you, they would all have that wake-up call and go do something about their weight. In my case, it would have been the opposite.
It's like telling a smoker that it's an unhealthy habit to smoke. I believe we all know this without being told. In fact: tell a smoker he has a bad habit, and he will nod and light another cigarette...
And if Judy has good friends, or at least one, I'd say it would do more good if they would try to find out what's really bothering her. Maybe spend time with her. Or even suggest finding help outside of her friends. But telling her she's fat, could possibly do more harm than good. If she's like me, it definitely will.
what a wonderfully well thought-out response and great true-life story. That is really inspiring and I am happy you one-upped those cops! I hope that Judy can change but to be honest, i am not really sure that she wants to. I don't really know her that well, i just found her statement about a diet before chowing down on all that food to be very strange. :)
You have to understand that there is a occasionally some underlying psychosis that is going to lead to the need or desire to eat. I know it is the buzz word these days, but typically it can lead back to some kind of trauma. I've been overweight most of my life quite honestly. Since I met my wife though I have started eating better and I have been able to keep my weight right around 250 give or take for the past 15 years. I have no doubt I could probably indulge a little less and start exercising. Aside form the hormonal imbalance like you mentioned or thyroid issues there can be a long list of reasons. Anti depressants, birth control, and a long list of other meds can make it difficult to lose weight. Maybe Judy just doesn't care, but I'd put money on the fact that this is a mental thing she struggles with every day more often than not, she probably loses that battle. I'm not saying it's right or justifying it, I am just saying I know the struggle. I'd also guess at some point in her life she did really well at her diet, then she hit a plateau and nothing happened for a long time. It's really easy to just give up when you don't see any results. Anyway, this is getting long. Sorry.
I like long responses. It shows you care :)
I think there are so many people like Judy that I know but the thing is, I definitely think that I love her spirit for embarking knowing fully well that it may be herculean. Taking a step first Is the right way to go for obese people
oh for sure and i would want her to come on these outings with us more frequently because I can guarantee you that she is having that 5-piece and the fried bananas whether she goes on a trek or not.
Haha but at least she'll burn fat and eat instead of only eat eat and eat at home.
In the past when humans starved a lot more, it was only those that could pack on calories that would survive longer. Things have changed now so it's the opposite way around.
Posted using Partiko Android
The fact that Judy was struggling had in the first place to do with the fact she did eat. Not only a bit, not easy to digest but hard to digest food. The digestion takes nearly all the energy out of the body. This is also a reason why people feel tired after dinner and want to take a nap (which is a healthy thing to do) and you should not swim or sport the first hour after dining (although it can take over 8 hours to digest).
One should also not drink while eating. She never needed to pee after all these coke?
At least she takes excersise and if no one encourage you it is hard to break with old rules. You could have advices her to buy fruit, etc.
Posted using Partiko Android
I think i'll ask someone who knows her better to make this suggestion to her. Or maybe I'll just say that I can help if she wants my advice, rather than throwing out unsolicited advice.
That is an option too and a kind gesture.💕
Posted using Partiko Android
100 burpees will di the trick
Posted using Partiko Android
1000!
Try 100 push-ups only 5 minutes https://partiko.app/rmsbodybuilding/100-pushups-for-time-hr0q115x?referrer=rmsbodybuilding
Posted using Partiko Android
Like you said in a comment and in the post, big wake up call for your friend. Most friends didn't say anything about my shape, but luckily one friend did. And I finally took action. Daily on my bike and walking at least 7 km a day. Plus healthy food and focus on the calories.
In your example, man, you need to walk like 25-30 km to burn all the snacks, lol.
I hope she loses weight in the near future.
I don't think she will. I think she is comfortable in her skin and that is fine. I think she just wanted to come along and I am cool with that... I just want her to stop talking about her diet as she clearly don't have one. :)
Yeah! It is so easy to fool oneself that one is still more or less the same so that one can continue with bad diet! I really have to do something about myself and be more aware of what and why I am eating these stuff!
Posted using Partiko iOS
To loose weight isnt easy. But to gain weight is very easy. If you want loose weight you need to do some sport. And you need to change something in your head.