You are an excellent writer. It sounds like you are trying to break many cycles of abuse in your life. Many times when people are psychologically abused by their parents, they seek out psychological abuse in their relationships later in life. It just seems normal but it is very destructive.

Thank you for working your way through these issues. It is important to find solutions not only for yourself but for other people (and there are many) in the same situations. Sometimes "compassion" for the abuser is not the answer. Sometimes you have to move away and build appropriate boundaries.