About pleasures or "Four Spheres of Life"
Each of us - sure - strives to be happy. Satisfied with his life. To receive as much pleasure as possible. Of course pleasure is subjective matter. But in this category there are universal joys in this category? Which - initially - are pleasant to all? Only we forgot about some of them, and some of them were deleted, as too "expensive", replacing them for ourselves with more simple and affordable. Maybe - in vain? Let's talk about this.
The life of any of us passes, basically, in four contexts:
- Bodily life
- Fantasies, forecasts, planning, philosophy
- Activities - work, study, other activities
- Emotional life - contact with yourself and with your environment
The first two contexts are more intimate, internal. Possessors to solitude. Centering on yourself, your feelings and feelings.
Staying mostly in your bodily and fantasy life, you can "stew in your own juice" for a long time and avoid contact with those around you with a clear conscience. But activities and contacts are, basically, communication and interaction with other people.
Itself is obsessed with - it's just to live - mostly - your body and your fantasies. What for? First of all, then, that the simplest and most accessible pleasures are just in our body and in our fantasies.
And it is always possible to get some kind of dirty trick from the Others. Just decide - to them, and they - rrrraz, and from you! And your imagination about yourself and fantasy, here I am, and such, and such a high-quality - can easily fade under the pressure of their ideas - the perception of you ...
So the way "quietly with myself I talk" is quite - in terms of the pleasure of "talking to an intelligent person" - can be justified ... Completely ...
Okay, let's talk about the pleasures of the body.
The simplest, easiest and natural pleasures here can be obtained in contact with food. Did you feel your appetite? Well - "I'm going to look." I found what I want right now. Pleased with the aroma, the way that looks like that smells so delicious. I tried it - tastefully! Chewed - swallowed - good! He's having fun. The energy went. If, of course, I managed to stop and eat right on hunger. Good. Clear. It is guaranteed three to four times a day.
We also - civilized - invented a few substitute pleasures. This is primarily about smoking. Tobacco changes both the state of the body and our consciousness. Only here is the trouble - initially our body reacts to all this "kaku" as a poison. Yes because it is - poison. And having smoked the first - the second - the fifth cigarette, we get all the symptoms of poisoning. But then lucky for someone who has a stubborn body. Who stubbornly refuses to "build" this external nicotine, resin and so on into his system of exchange. And time after time - instead of the expected pleasure - gives out a reaction of poisoning. Then you can throw this muck without having started.
But if the organism concedes and "builds" nicotine into its metabolic processes, everything is a "pipe". He begins to simply demand his portion on a regular basis. Because without this portion, it "breaks" and "flattens". And then - what kind of pleasure? Here - an attempt to avoid withdrawal syndrome.
Yes, and habits - it's gainful. The gesture is a stick of a cigarette in the fingers - the smell of smoke - the ritual of the morning coffee - the ritual is distracted from work - the ritual of completing the meal ... But that's what a thing is. If it is possible to "get used to ..." then with the same success it is possible and "to wean from ...". There would be a desire. And the first sprout of desire can arise on the realization that the pleasure of smoking is a fake. And for a fake to pay with very real limitations of physical capabilities - shortness of breath, lethargic vessels, cough, bad smells and gradually yellowing face and fingers - do we need it ?! Well, if necessary - then yes, you know more about yourself ...
About alcohol and drugs refrain here to argue. Just say that their use - like smoking - from the category of pleasure quickly enough to become a "runaway from the withdrawal syndrome." And become addicted. By the yarm. The external that controls our feelings - thoughts - behavior. Depending on there are their pleasures. Distraction from reality, for example. Anesthesia peculiar. To reduce anxiety, anxiety, make your tragedies and experiences bearable. But what do you pay for these pleasures? The destruction of his body. Destruction of his psyche. Exactly. Sadly ... That's why I called these pleasures "substitutive". Because they make a substitution - a substitute for our reality. Lead us into a fake world. It seems bright - manki - joyful, but as a result - very terrible, dead.
Here still that now thought. These false pleasures make it easier for us to contact others. After all, the alarm is reduced. They build a "bridge" from seclusion - into the world. Which way is easier ... "Let's go have a smoke?" - a more neutral invitation to talk than "let's go talk." And "Do you respect me?" - read - you recognize me as a quality one - it's much easier to find out "under couples". But the bridge is very fragile. Highly. And we all know about it - deep down.
Author - Irina Lopatuhina
Psychologist, Gestalt therapist