Why Do Some People Bully Others and Enjoy Creating Misery and Suffering?

in psychology •  3 years ago


Why do some people abuse others? Why do some people bully others? Why are some people malicious to others? Why are some people looking to create meaningless conflict with others? Why do some people enjoy trolling and harassing others?

It comes down to a lack of respect for others, and for themselves ultimately, where they lack the ability to look at themselves in the mirror and see what they are doing so. They lack self-respect, to look at themselves honestly. For some reason, they don't care about their intentionally malicious and hurtful actions towards others.

They validate, justify, excuse and rationalize that what they are doing is "right". This abusive or malicious behavior is all about them and issues they have in their lives that they are taking it out on others for some reason, and it makes them feel good.

There is a saying: “misery loves company ”. They are miserable, and they want to make other's miserable. They feel like a victim, so they want to make other people into victims by abusing them. They can target one person, a few people, or many people to try to be purposefully hurtful towards.

Sadly, some people have underlying issues in themselves, in their lives, in their psyche, and want to project their aggression and feelings of inadequacy out onto other people. They also seem to enjoy doing. It makes them "feel-good".

They are so confused internally, that abusing, bullying, harassing, trolling or being malicious to other people is "fun" for them. They enjoy spending their time and energy to purposefully make things up and try to take people down to their miserable level.

Instead of spending time, energy and effort looking at themselves in the mirror, they take their time, energy and effort to purposely try to put people down, make fun of them, insult them, call them names, and they enjoy it. It feeds their negative ego-"I"-self construct. They don't want to deal with their own internal issues and be a more positive ego-"I"-self. They often don't even see and recognize these deep issues within themselves. They also often don't want to see, they don't want to look. They are in denial about themselves. They lack the ability to look at themselves honestly, they lack self-respect.



Re: again
Spectare: look at

Respect means to look at again. Self-respect is to look at yourself again and again, deeply, within yourself, your consciousness, psyche, etc. This is not about literally looking into a mirror. This is symbolism, analogy and metaphor (which most of my work/posts deal with). Look beneath the facade of who you pretend to be to others, the fake duplicitous projection you hide behind, and see who you really are by your actions across the board. Take a hard look at yourself, the real you inside, and heal yourself with with self-respect.

Then you can start to respect others after you deal with your own internal mess. Find that issue that has you engaging in these actions, find the root causal factor. It usually comes back to a lack of self-care and self-"love". If you deny there is even such a thing as a range of emotions characterized by words like care or "love", then you are stuck in denial and will never heal. Learn to have more respect and responsibility for yourself and your actions. This requires care, courage and will-power to honestly face the mirror.

Stop subconsciously seeing yourself as a victim that needs to lash out at others who did nothing to you. This is creating a cycle of abuse and victimhood to justify and excuse your actions towards others.


Psychopath etymologically means suffering of the psyche, mind or consciousness, from psyche (mind) + pathos (suffering). Most of us are suffering from the condition of this world (within varying comparative degrees). We all have some level of issue in psyche, consciousness, don't we? But some people are more visibly "psychopathic", more visibly in a state of deep suffering, than others, because we can see it by their actions.

We are socially engineered, conditioned, programmed, brainwashed and indoctrinated into a falser ways of living, to be a falser self than the potential we could be, influenced into a delusion of illusions and appearances that prevents us from realizing and actualizing our substantive, authentic, truer, realer, higher potential we can become.

We are often engaging in wrong actions, creating suffering for others, because we suffer ourselves. It's a catch 22 in many ways. The only way to escape the cycle is to learn and become aware of how this is functioning around us and within us. But this is no excuse, justification or rationalization to continue with our current condition and perpetuate more suffering.

People who don't suffer don't create suffering for others to suffer by their actions. Only suffering people create suffering for others. The above infographic illustrates how we suffer ourselves and then we continue to create suffering for others, as an abuse-victim perpetuation cycle.

Empathy and compassion is to feel suffering for others where we can bear the mirroring simulation of feeling as they do. If we create evil and suffering for others, it can be ignorantly and unconsciously. Unconsciously, because we are not consciously aware nor evolved enough in consciousness to know the reality of what we are doing and therefore live in a false reality, an unreality.

This can be because we often lack knowledge of right from wrong, good from evil, and are unconsciously living in falsity, through fear, ignorance, apathy, cowardice and laziness of Truth and Morality, a lack of True Care, for ourselves, and others.

If we create suffering, we are suffering, and we are suffering from a lack of self-knowledge. Know thyself, the suffering you endured, the suffering you create, and how consciousness functions.

The lack of self-knowledge is from a lack of self-respect to look at ourselves in the mirror, a lack of self-"love" to care to do that work on ourselves, and a lack of self-responsibility to own up to the actions and behaviors we create in reality. This lack of self-knowledge, self-respect, self-love and self-responsibility creates the self-inflicted suffering and self-imposed enslavement we live in and continue to perpetuate, for ourselves, and others.

As long as we harm others we have no right to harm, who did no one any harm, then we create suffering, trauma and abuse, for them and ourselves because we are in a state of suffering in consciousness. We lack conscious awareness of ourselves, and lack care, compassion, empathy, conscience and morality. Healing, growing, evolving, changing, etc., takes time, attention, energy, effort, dedication, determination and persistence.

You can try to reason and argue with some of these people that are suffering, but denial is strong and they won' t hear any of it.

On the internet it can be a large waste of time. Some people are called trolls for this. Trolls feed on attention. If you keep engaging with them it feeds their need for attention that they desire from you. It means what they are doing to try to irritate you is working out for them, because you give them what they want. Feeding them keeps them coming back for more food, attention. This is the sad internal state they are in. Their psyche and consciousness is suffering, and they seek attention in malicious ways to keep themselves entertained. The best way to deal with trolls, is to not feed them. Don't feed the trolls. Starve them from the attention they crave.

Thank you for reading! Take care. Peace.

Image sources: whatonearthishappening.com

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(Unless you're a troll, seeking to harass me and trying to put me down, trying to make me miserable like you, then please leave me alone and get on with your own life. Peace.)

Author: Kris Nelson / @krnel
Contact: steemit.quality@gmail.com
Date: 2016-09-03

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Bullies crave power, they need to have power over their victim, to temporarily fill their own power vacuum (often gained because they had their power taken by someone else). However the point here is you cant have your power taken, you can only give it up. If a bully pushes you over, get up and shrug to anyone looking, but not the bully. If the bully bloodies your nose, smile and show the blood in your teeth to others, never to the bully. Someone trolls you online, make a joke on a different topic, dont reply to the bully. You are right, the bully is wrong, you have the power, they gave their power away and are trying to have you give up yours for them.

people abuse others because they want to and have the opportunity. laying blame or trying to explain to yourself the psychology of a predator, does nothing. why does the lion attack the gazelle? law of attraction? no. because it feels bad about itself? no. the answer is, because the gazelle's body language communicated that it was weak and a target. the lion saw this message and replied in the way that it instinctively always will. i think you understand this. in your last paragraph, you wrote, "It means what they are doing to irritate you, you make you suffer, is working." your typo here i think is very telling. you make you suffer. on the internet, short of being doxed and actually put in physical danger the use of the word bullying is often a deceit. it is used to get attention, because it works. if adults take the time to learn physical and intellectual self defense, they develop the self confidence to deal with these predators. otherwise there will be no end to the perceived attacks. i am near certain that this will be perceived as an attack. if you remember it, it may serve you well in the future. that is my intention. i wish you well. good luck.


Thanks for showing me the error so I could apply a correction. I didn't reread what I wrote. I corrected and explained it better now.

As for "i am near certain that this will be perceived as an attack", ... imagine whatever you want, just like "seeing" into a typo or "dyslexic" moment. I sometimes use the wrong words when typing things out quickly, probably not dyslexia, but I can't think of an accurate term. Good luck to you too. Peace.

I am one of Your followers
I bookmarked this
Good Content
Good Points

People inflict needless pain on other people because they are insane.


Some people think it's all your own fault for "attracting" them, in some "New Ager" pseudo-spiritual mindset about the so-called "Law of Attraction"... like this person, whom I objected to their blanket oversimplified generalized statement "What Ever is Going on in Your Life, You are Attracting it":


A blanket statement like: "What Ever is Going on in Your Life, You are Attracting it" is false. If someone starts harassing you, trolling you online, or someone does you harm in real life, you are not always attracting it and to blame. Some people have psychological issues and like to be malicious to others.

But yes, on the heading: "If you're not succeeding on Steemit, the fault is entirely your own!"

That is how the title can validly apply. But not as a blanket statement.

Take care. Peace.

To which they simply flat out denied how this is not true, that their title is a "true" blanket statement:

Krnel, if those things are happening to you on the regular, you are attracting it. And, for the record, in some way you did attract it. Those are just the facts. I didn't make this up. Yes, there are people who are insane, so what? How does that negate any of this? It doesn't.

And that inspired me to create this post. Never underestimate the power of denial. It' strong.

Take care. Peace.


Yet you are attracting your attention towards it.
The law of attraction is very real, do you understand it @kernal ?


Now you're playing with semantics, and are confused in your attempt to describe it, or are confused in how you falsely understand it. I do understand the Real Law of Attraction, Cause and Effect of what you sow you reap. If you do no harm to someone, then harm done to you by them is not the false "Law of Attraction".

For example. Someone who initiates violence towards you. To simply claims "What Ever is Going on in Your Life, You are Attracting it", as if you attracted that person creating violence towards, is 100% pure idiocy.

Now, to claim that you have eyes of external perception, linked to your internal perception in consciousness, and you re going to pay attention to the violence being done to you. Yes, I sure as hell hope so and that you stand up for yourself and stop it. It;s not "attracting" the actual violence done to you.

The "Law of Attraction" can be interpreted in many ways, and lot of them are PURE BS, like the above oversimplified false perception of how reality works. It's a convenient "Feel-good" belief to "make sense" of the randomness and chaos in the world, and falsely place blame on someone who did no harm and was not deserving of receiving harm.


that fits my definition of crazy. There are nine hundred thousand and nine ways to define CRAZY and all of them are RIGHT. Crazy is a chaotic system. Emphasis on CHAOS. (in the mathematical sense) there is no point in classifying and categorizing them because they are absolutely unlimited in extent. New ones are emerging every day.

the only thing that is possible is to recognize the crazy. Manage it if possible or avoid it.

Stay AWAY from violent people. Avoid them

Gracias por compartir este material, me gusta lo que has publicado. Muchas Gracias

Most bullies are reflecting their childhood and or making up for their own suffering. It's a coping illness


Exactly. I bully others because I feel insecure regarding my small genitalia.

There is currently a lack of sanctity in the value of life and liberty, allowing people to follow their own path -- as long as they do no harm to others -- unmolested. We currently live in a society where it is acceptable to haul people off of the streets or from their homes, away from their families, and throw them in a cage for doing things that are of no harm to anybody but themselves. Why? Because others find such actions distasteful or run contrary to their religious upbringing.


Liberty! Now and two years ago!

Great insight!

Really good work. That's why I joined Steemit!

I would make the abuse visually more simple.